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Original poster

Are they supposed to wipe their own bottom at 3 years old????

39 replies

oliveoil · 21/06/2006 14:26

dd1 has just started staying all day instead of just mornings after months of trying (she is a bit cautious/shy/clingy etc).

Anyway, all went well yesterday but when MIL collected her at 3pm and took her to the toilet when she got back, she had poo all over her knickers .

She said she 'wiped myself Grandma' and when I checked later she said they go on their own.

Is this right for 3? Is there some ridiculous law that know says that workers cannot go in the toilet with their charges???

Not sure whether or not to mention it to playgroup as she was v upset when she saw her knickers, bless.

Thanks.

OP posts:
nailpolish · 21/06/2006 14:29

dd1 is 3 and a half and cannot wipe poo herself very well (esp with dry toilet roll, she is ok with Kandoos)

at playgroup the teacher would definitely help her

i would definitely mention it OO

maybe she didnt tell anyone?

Gingerbear · 21/06/2006 14:29

My DD (4) has also started coming home from nursery with skiddies.
Bums are so much harder to wipe than noonies when you are 4.
I have no idea if is another daft rule. Will ask at nursery.

Original poster
oliveoil · 21/06/2006 14:31

I am not there till Friday but I think I will mention it.

If it is a daft rule I will be v annoyed, are we to assume everyone is a pervert nowadays or what fgs?

OP posts:
Bozza · 21/06/2006 14:31

I would check with the playgroup if I were you. I think DS was always assisted at nursery but now he is at school he has to do it himself so might be worth starting to practice soon anyway.

nailpolish · 21/06/2006 14:32

FGS surely anyone with a shred of decency would help a little one with a poo bum

even if its not 'in the rule book'

argh

Northerner · 21/06/2006 14:32

Yep, my ds (4) wipes his own bum at pre school too, but he is proud of his skids rather than upset.

Think they encourage them to be independant and go alone. Also have visions of 3/4 year old shouting I'M FINISHED but no one hearing/can be arsed to help.

Original poster
oliveoil · 21/06/2006 14:32

she practices at home but in a fashion (ie not v well!)

OP posts:
nailpolish · 21/06/2006 14:38

i would be furious if my dd needed a little help to wipe some poo and the teacher refused

Northerner · 21/06/2006 14:39

We are practicising at home in preperation for big school.

Def no help there.

EmmyLou · 21/06/2006 14:44

DD2 (7 fg!) still has skid marked knickers. I watched her wipe the other day to try and give her a few 'tips' and bless, she didn't half contort herself to try and reach (she's pretty skinny too!) Independence wins at the end of the day. She can always change her knickers when she comes home.

DD3 (2.10) is potty training and I can see myself helping her out for a good long time yet. Oliveoil, if it upsets your child then ask them to help her/get her to ask for help when she needs it. Poor thing

Blu · 21/06/2006 14:45

Maybe she didn't ask for help..or tell staff she was going for a poo.

Cod · 21/06/2006 14:46

Message withdrawn

Cod · 21/06/2006 14:46

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 21/06/2006 14:46

i tell dd1 to put her foot on the toilet edge

its really hard for them with crappy school paper

foxinsocks · 21/06/2006 14:47

poor dd1

did she ask for help? she might have been trying to be independent

Blu · 21/06/2006 14:48

DS always tried to be very independent at nursery. Horrendous skid marks, but does it really matter? That's what washing machines are for.

foxinsocks · 21/06/2006 14:48

am typing v slow today - blu got there first!

nailpolish · 21/06/2006 14:49

it matters if they are upset

you need to discuss with nursery OO jsut to get it straight

Greensleeves · 21/06/2006 14:50

ds1 is 3.6 and does it himself, but I would help him if he asked (sometimes if it's...well, you know, gooey ) and would expect the staff at his pre-school to be prepared to do it if some of the children needed it. It's not at all unusual for a 3yo to need help with wiping, is it?!?!?

NotQuiteCockney · 21/06/2006 14:50

DS1 has had a hard time with this, since he started nursery. Not least because we had trained him to assume the "downwards dog" position for being cleaned up, and the nursery folks really didn't like that. So he wouldn't ask for help.

He's nearly five, and I'd generally rather he asked for help at home, he tends to run through an entire roll of paper, and then still not be clean.

puddle · 21/06/2006 14:50

My dd is three. They encourage independence at her nursery but I have repeatedly asked her to tell her carers at nursery if she's going for a poo and then they will check her bottom. She just won't do it though. She won't tell me at home either and I only know to check when I see 'the evidence' unflushed in the loo or the pants.

I do think it is harder for girls (I have an older ds) - wiping yourself is a more difficult skill to learn because of the front to back issue and the associated risk of UTIs.

Blu · 21/06/2006 14:51

But try not to work yourself into a vitriolic rage at them before you have even spoken to them. (oops sorry- it's nailpolish working herself up on your behalf!)

nailpolish · 21/06/2006 14:52

at home i tell dd1 to "touch your toes"

Gingerbear · 21/06/2006 14:53

I wonder how they teach kids in rural Indonesia/Thailand etc to use the mandi? A tub of water next to the squat toilet with a small bowl to wash your bottom with. That has got to be harder than toilet paper.

Then again, they probably do the whole pooing/weeing/ washing stuff in one go - get it over and done with.

I hated using a mandi first thing in the morning for bathing, even in tropical climes, it was bloody cold, and often silty water.

Original poster
oliveoil · 21/06/2006 14:54

oh I am not in a rage about the poo (!) but I will be in a pout if there is some nonsense law that says people I trust with my dd are not allowed to help with toileting issues.

Pah!

Will check on Friday and see what happens today, Granny may have another 'present' to deal with later.

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