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Education

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Original poster

Think Carefully Before Opting for Private Education

999 replies

PRMum2012 · 29/04/2013 23:50

i am a mum of two (23 months and 3 in august)I am self-employed, part time and married to a lovely architect. We have a great life and two happy kids.

On paper I would say I have not done too badly with my life and my aim is to work full time as soon as possible now my kids are a bit older. If the work was available I would happily work full time now.

Despite setting up my own business I can't help feeling like a failure that I can't afford for my own children, what my parents did for me.... It annoys me that I put so much importance on it ... I am now passionate about finding a decent local primary school for my children so they don't feel the same pressure i do now, when they are older and looking for schools for their kids ....but i'll be honest ......assuming i can afford it i would try and do it from 11 if i can....!!!!...

Hopefully by then, my kids will have an input too and they will be forming their own opinions on the issue.

Depending on mortgage and family support I can't see that it's possible for anyone with two kids earning under £80,000 - £1000,000 + (as a family income) to afford private education anymore, my advice is unless you have a thriving business or two, work as a dr, lawyer or banker.... Forget it.

It's really hard to watch my younger sibling do it for her kids, they are paying for private prep while we cant afford it.... But it really upsets me I feel like this... why can't I just be happy for them and quietly satisfied that I don't need to pay on top of my taxes for my kids education.

For my own primary education i went privately, tried the local school for secondary education but was bullied so moved back to the private system.... I had a mix of private and state during secondary - my second private school was amazing but the second state school I attended for 6th form (my choice) was great too so why is this all having such an impact on what I want for my own kids.

My DH is much more laid back, he went privately all the way through but doesn't place as much value on it as I do/did....I wish I felt the same way but all I feel now is pressure to earn more money so I can pay for them both from 11.

OP posts:

singersgirl · 02/05/2013 18:32

I want to know what they put on their cereal if one pint of milk lasts all week. Eating out on business or going away with colleagues for work to HK is not remotely a substitute for a family meal out or a family holiday abroad . Not that you need to do those things, but I must say my business trips don't leave me feeling that I don't want a family holiday.

dogsandcats · 02/05/2013 18:37

MTS, they will take issue with whatever you eat, drink, smoke,where you go on holiday, what car you drive, which private school you use, which brand of toothpaste you use...........
Are you sure you want to continue to supply this information?

I think an analysis of all your receipts are in order, I really do![not]

Mind you, you will no longer have to ponder whether to go on those baby threads or mil threads ever again!

MTSgroupie · 02/05/2013 18:40

Wishi - Read the whole thread. And then read it again.

Before everyone got fixated on Costco chicken I mentioned that my £28k figure for school fees includes trips, both domestic and foreign. As for family holidays I said that we borrow the holiday home of a relative.

For a bunch of people who are against private schooling you are incredibly snobbish. I mean - OMG. They buy their chicken from Costco. What? They drink water instead of sugary fizzy drinks? Call social services. And they send them off skiing with their school mates? It just gets worst .

£200k of the savings is ring fenced for university. We haven't settled on which North American uni to apply to yet but it's a few years away. The rest will allow us to retire at 55. But your pity is much appreciated

CecilyP · 02/05/2013 18:46

Other days we are either having a business dinner or we are working late in which case its a business expense that is put on the company plastic.

You take your DC's out for a business dinner? Your employer must be very understanding.

bella65 · 02/05/2013 18:52

Oh I see- now the kids are destined for a uni in the US- so UK ones are not good enough?

How old are your DCs out of interest? I'm actually seriously concerned about their intake of calcium if 1 pint of milk lasts the family for a week- a dietician I interviewed recently said that children need 3 portions of dairy a day- which includes milk, cheese and yoghurt.

I feel a bit for your kids really if you and your partner are dining out several times a week without the kids- unless you all go and you are putting family meals down as business expenses.

And it's not snobbery over chicken- can't you understand that? It's a health issue. I'd rather buy one organic chicken a week, which would serve one main meal then the carcass would go into stock for risotto or soup, than buy bulk amounts of rubbish chicken to eat more often.

But- each to their own.

musicalfamily · 02/05/2013 19:02

This whole thing has become so disingenuous really.

Someone coming here giving the impression they are scrimping and saving and managing on a really tight family budget - fair enough.

Then the company plastic, 200k savings, ski trips and the rest is mentioned, making a bit of a joke of the food budgeting tbh.

As someone who lived in real poverty as a child (and who went hungry) I find it in really bad taste, sorry.

rabbitstew · 02/05/2013 19:11

But I don't think MTS is budgeting on her food - she just likes red herring from Costco. And we have all been informed, anyway, that Costco is the place to go for private school mums to buy skiing outfits and huge quantities of food which only someone with a car with a capacious boot, a vast house with cavernous storage space and an enormous chest freezer could possibly consider.

bella65 · 02/05/2013 19:11

Oh lighten up musical- it's only a bit of semi-fun. I grew up in poverty too with no inside bathroom and an outside loo, but I've got over it now.

rabbitstew · 02/05/2013 19:15

Top of the meat list at Costco.co.uk is: 36 Month Cured Iberico Bellota Ham on the Bone with Stand & Knife, and DVD Tutorial 9kg. All for the bargain basement price of £339.99. This place is seriously cheap, man!

rabbitstew · 02/05/2013 19:18

In fact, online, I just don't see this cheap chicken. Oh, silly me - I should be looking under Red Herring.

Wishihadabs · 02/05/2013 19:43

But why ? MTS that's what I really want to know

bella65 · 02/05/2013 19:45

This thread should read' Think carefully before opting for private education..because you'll have to eat Costco chicken' ( and red herring.)

bella65 · 02/05/2013 19:51

Actually this is seriously worrying- a quick search of www.costco.co.uk does not show any chicken at ALL- except that sold as pet food.

Now c'mon MTS that really is going too far- even if the 'reward' for a dire diet is a place at Harvard.

seeker · 02/05/2013 19:58

Not even remotely snobby over Costco. Although I am an Aldi fan myself. I just wouldn't, unless it was that or not eat, eat or serve anyone else battery reared chicken. Even Waitrose battery reared chicken.

MrsSalvoMontalbano · 02/05/2013 20:22

Yesterday was taking to a friend of a friend. She is from an ethnic minority. In the course of conversaton , turns out her DC (DS and DD) are at local ( highly rated) indies, SW London/Surrey, And she was nervous/apologetic as she knows I work in education in the maintained sector, and she works in the public sector (in fact in a jobcentre), and gets flak from her colleagues about being posh. But her DS, is very academic, is getting the best possible academic education, and being in the demographic where as a young person he risks being stopped by police if he drives a 'pimped' car , it is his escape route from that 'category'. Why does she feel she has to apologise for her deciosn?

LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 02/05/2013 20:28

Where's the OP?

mumsneedwine · 02/05/2013 20:33

This has made me chuckle after a pants day at work. Never before seen the relationship between chicken and education, but there must be something in it. And loved the thought of food budgeting on 200k !!! Right, better go and feed family - have gone off chicken

happygardening · 02/05/2013 20:37

"Even Waitrose battery reared chicken."
No battery reared chicken in Waitrose all "produced by farmers who share our values" what ever the hell they are. My DH has fought Waitrose vociferously over their plans to build one here in Smalltownsville frankly their values are listen to concerns tinker round the edges and then tell them to go fuck themselves. Hope the chickens get a better deal that we have.

happygardening · 02/05/2013 20:41

Lets not forget chicken welfare has significantly improved in 2009/2010 the EU decided chickens need more space prior to this each chicken need the equivalent of one piece of A4 paper now the lucky buggers are meant to have the equivalent of 2 pieces of A4 paper.

wonderingagain · 02/05/2013 20:45

Eeeeewww.

Mine are getting a student loan which they will pay off once they are earning. Simple. Education, not free, but as good as. And children who will appreciate the cost and the value of it because they will pay for it.

morethanpotatoprints · 02/05/2013 21:07

My dcs have had to pay for everything after 16 Wonderingagain, but my eldest 21 has nearly enough for deposit for a house now. So proud they can stand on their own 2 feet and won't be with mummy and daddy until they are 25 +

rabbitstew · 02/05/2013 21:24

morethanpotatoprints - you don't think Costco chicken, half a tiny cup of warm milk every so often (not every night, that would be OCDish) and packing them off on a plane to America will have the same effect?

morethanpotatoprints · 02/05/2013 21:38

Rabbitstew

I'm not usually a fence sitter, but on this one I am because i don't know really.
Maybe if we had the means we would have given our dc more in terms of a hand up. Also, I always agree with each to their own, as we are quite unconventional ourselves. Unfortunately, we buy cheap chicken but must admit had a free range a few weeks ago and it was much nicer. I wouldn't pay for education though if it meant having to go without other things, but only because it isn't so important to us. My dc aren't all that bright for private school, but have talents in non academic ways

flatmum · 02/05/2013 21:38

See! Costco isn't cheap! I've just been and thrown out a bag if Costco frozen chicken as you lot have made me feel guilty. But then, I can afford it, the kids have been eating gruel all week and I will be working until 99 to pay off my mortgage.

wordfactory · 02/05/2013 22:05

wondering I really don't think you can make the argument that student loans are A Good Thing.

Most of us received free tertiary education and a grant to live on to boot! We didn't appreciate it less.

If any of us are able to provide a similar start for our DC then surely that's great? Being hampered by student debts is one of the most horrible things that young people have to put up with.

Please don't turn it into a virtue just to point score.

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