Think Carefully Before Opting for Private Education

[PRMum2012]

i am a mum of two (23 months and 3 in august)I am self-employed, part time and married to a lovely architect. We have a great life and two happy kids.

On paper I would say I have not done too badly with my life and my aim is to work full time as soon as possible now my kids are a bit older. If the work was available I would happily work full time now.

Despite setting up my own business I can't help feeling like a failure that I can't afford for my own children, what my parents did for me.... It annoys me that I put so much importance on it ... I am now passionate about finding a decent local primary school for my children so they don't feel the same pressure i do now, when they are older and looking for schools for their kids ....but i'll be honest ......assuming i can afford it i would try and do it from 11 if i can....!!!!...

Hopefully by then, my kids will have an input too and they will be forming their own opinions on the issue.

Depending on mortgage and family support I can't see that it's possible for anyone with two kids earning under £80,000 - £1000,000 + (as a family income) to afford private education anymore, my advice is unless you have a thriving business or two, work as a dr, lawyer or banker.... Forget it.

It's really hard to watch my younger sibling do it for her kids, they are paying for private prep while we cant afford it.... But it really upsets me I feel like this... why can't I just be happy for them and quietly satisfied that I don't need to pay on top of my taxes for my kids education.

For my own primary education i went privately, tried the local school for secondary education but was bullied so moved back to the private system.... I had a mix of private and state during secondary - my second private school was amazing but the second state school I attended for 6th form (my choice) was great too so why is this all having such an impact on what I want for my own kids.

My DH is much more laid back, he went privately all the way through but doesn't place as much value on it as I do/did....I wish I felt the same way but all I feel now is pressure to earn more money so I can pay for them both from 11.

I am a teacher in a state school. A lot of my colleagues do private tutoring for private school pupils. I know of one child who has 3 private tutors, who are English, maths and science teachers at my school- if she went to my school she could have these teachers for free.

But no, instead some private schools seem to cover up poor teaching by convincing parents that their child is not clever enough, and the parents shell out for fees and for private tuition too!

Some of the stories I have heard about these pupils from my colleagues are shocking. Ex. books never marked, cheating in controlled assessments, the pupils not having the first idea what their homework task involves or what they have to do in it. I have also heard of ex colleagues who were very ineffectual teachers becoming hods in private schools because their face seemed to fit.

There are good state schools out there. I am a product of one, got straight As and a first class degree
from an excellent uni. I now work in one. We get 85% a-c inc. eng and maths from a comprehensive intake. You don't needed to go private.

Wow what a bizarre turn of thread. FWIW MTS I do find it a little odd that as a family you earn the best part of £200k yet you are eating mass produced, battery farmed chicken. I don't think anyone should have to eat that stuff and ironically one of the things that has put me off when looking around our local prep was the rubbish they were feeding the dcs.

I do not understand why someone who acts differently to others some of the time, has to justify their life choices.
It has made me realise that, whatever that person says, someone will jump on it.

MTS for the record- we don't have PPI or illness protection cover. We have buildings and contents, and 2 life cover policies. Our contents insurance may be higher than yours as we have several items valued over £1K so pay extra. 1 car insurance policy is £190pa.

Your comments over chicken ' one chicken is the same as another' - err.......no. If you think that then you are truly living under a stone. Aren't you aware of the antibiotic use in battery reared flocks? It's not about animal welfare and 'happy chickens' per se- it's about what you put in your kids' mouths and the possible long term consequences of injesting the drugs used to make chickens grow fast when reared in overcrowded huts.

Nothing to do with being snobby- everything to do with being health conscious.

How very odd. If someone says they're making sacrifices to pay for private education they will be jumped on and if someone says they're not having to sacrifice much they're jumped on!

... I keep coming back here to find it's still about chicken!

I don't think anyone is 'jumping', though, based on whether or not anyone else makes sacrifices: rather, it is the scale and the credibility of the sacrifice they say they're making which arouses interest (not in me, I must say), and the extent to which they suggest others could or should make the same 'sacrifice'.

If somebody said 'I don't have to sacrifice much', I'd probably wonder why they were telling me, but the only 'jumping' I can see on that score is when some posters just use any thread and any opportunity to say 'this is why many of us ensure we have high paying jobs so we can send five children to private school without really sacrificing a lovely lifestyle.' That can get as tiresome as chicken chat.

Do you mean Xenia?

No, it's a reference to all the very normal people who write posts like that

"happy - most of your stuff is made in sweat shops in Vietnam, China, India and Co. Unless you live under a stone you know that as well."
MTS We buy organic/fair trade/environmentally friendly/free range/locally sourced food/flowers/cleaning products etc where possible and although I am perfectly aware that most clothes are made in sweat shop where labour is exploited I try to avoid these things if at all possible.

This thread makes more sense if you read it backwards

"It's not about animal welfare and 'happy chickens' per se-"
Wish Im from a farming background so no animal sentimentalist but farm animal welfare and farmers welfare does matter to me and I think to many but you have to pay for it and no anti biotics. We are lucky UK milk is so heavily regulated its free of all antibiotics but the more we import from abroad ...well who knows whats in that. But as long as its cheap who cares.

louloutheshamed

Nobody is saying there aren't great state schools out there. I'm state educated and I chose state education for my ds. My primary was terrible, secondary was ok. I didn't rate the ds's primary at all.

Can I refer you to an earlier post I made where I mention Knowsley LEA which only sent 2% of pupils to RG unis and none to Oxbridge? Are you saying this is acceptable? In contast in the next borough there are two private schools where the results are incredible.

Surely even the most partisan of people can't realistically argue that private school academic results are worse than their state counterparts?

I do find the use of the word "sacrifice" to describe taking measures to reserve enough of your disposable, income as is needed to pay private school fees deeply distasteful.

I don't think it is ever a good idea to use the word "sacrifice" when talking about things you do of your own volition for your DC. It's a huge burden for DC to carry with them.

PRmum 2012 ... my heart turned over when you said you wanted to work full time as your children were "older now".... and they are still babies! The first 5 years are vital learning and precious times that cannot be filled by day care for long hours while you work if you have any choice in the matter at all . I agree ... school fees ahead are daunting if you want to go that way, but if you weigh things up and give your children real security now, loads of learning through play and talk and activities , they will be well set up to take on any schooling.. Primary state schooling is usually really great with support from home as well... and secondary is a long way off... all sorts of things can happen before then. Just have lots of fun with them and let the future happen .. I took exactly the opposite path with my children to the one my parents made me go down and am so thankful I did .. Your education was their choice and you are now a separate family unit.... you can break away from that and with that laid-back husband just chill a bit and and have lots of fun...

Jumping on someone over their scandalous lack of interest in chicken welfare, ingestion of antibiotics and ludicrously small milk servings doesn't have to have anything to do with your views on private school fees and self-sacrifice.

I shall serve my children half a very small cup of warm milk when they get home from school today and see what they have to say about it...

It's savoury yuck tonight, as it happens, rabbit.

It's going to be a particularly good one - I have an aubergine to use up.

Well, Just, if those private schools in the next borough get their impressive results with pupils whom they have not selected by either wealth or intelligence, that is certainly very good.

Of course private schools get better results. They pick and choose which children they would like to confer their immense knowledge and awesome teaching skills for heaven's sake.

Jumping on someone over their scandalous lack of interest in chicken welfare, ingestion of antibiotics and ludicrously small milk servings doesn't have to have anything to do with your views on private school fees and self-sacrifice.

Au contraire- some people might only be able to afford the said private schools if they ignore chicken welfare. :)

Not MTS of course- but just saying.

I'm sorry I've missed all this thread. And its too long now to read it all. Would anyone be so kind as to summarise how we got to be discussing Chicken welfare and then the arguments for and against. I will then chip in.

You know one of those things you see on "live updates" on newspaper websites. Summary of the days events football match thread so far

I for one was not connecting the two - I find the consumption of Costco chicken and thimblefuls of milk a far more entertaining subject in its own right. I can't for the life of me see why people keep trying to move away from it.

OhDearConfused - I believe chicken welfare came in when people started itemising their weekly expenses, in order to show how they could earn between £80,000 and £100,000 per year and afford private school fees. In some instances, those who could afford school fees were spending remarkably little money on food and it turned out that said people do not see any difference between Costco chicken and corn fed, free range, organic chicken, except for the price... Such people also tend to be remarkably stingy with milk.

Costco chicken has hereby officially replaced beaten up old Volvos and camping holidays in Cornwall.

A packet of lentils will go a lot further, and taste a lot better, and be a hell of a lot better for everything, than a poor bloody battery chicken