Think Carefully Before Opting for Private Education

[PRMum2012]

i am a mum of two (23 months and 3 in august)I am self-employed, part time and married to a lovely architect. We have a great life and two happy kids.

On paper I would say I have not done too badly with my life and my aim is to work full time as soon as possible now my kids are a bit older. If the work was available I would happily work full time now.

Despite setting up my own business I can't help feeling like a failure that I can't afford for my own children, what my parents did for me.... It annoys me that I put so much importance on it ... I am now passionate about finding a decent local primary school for my children so they don't feel the same pressure i do now, when they are older and looking for schools for their kids ....but i'll be honest ......assuming i can afford it i would try and do it from 11 if i can....!!!!...

Hopefully by then, my kids will have an input too and they will be forming their own opinions on the issue.

Depending on mortgage and family support I can't see that it's possible for anyone with two kids earning under £80,000 - £1000,000 + (as a family income) to afford private education anymore, my advice is unless you have a thriving business or two, work as a dr, lawyer or banker.... Forget it.

It's really hard to watch my younger sibling do it for her kids, they are paying for private prep while we cant afford it.... But it really upsets me I feel like this... why can't I just be happy for them and quietly satisfied that I don't need to pay on top of my taxes for my kids education.

For my own primary education i went privately, tried the local school for secondary education but was bullied so moved back to the private system.... I had a mix of private and state during secondary - my second private school was amazing but the second state school I attended for 6th form (my choice) was great too so why is this all having such an impact on what I want for my own kids.

My DH is much more laid back, he went privately all the way through but doesn't place as much value on it as I do/did....I wish I felt the same way but all I feel now is pressure to earn more money so I can pay for them both from 11.

Happygardening
You are very fortunate and very rich. Indeed many people besides you would probably see the importance of wanting to eat quality responsibly sourced food. However, they only have £42 a week.

Its the same with education, if you can afford it and think private is better than pay for it. If you can't afford it you have to do what everyone else does who can't afford it.

Posters wanted to know how MSC afforded the fees. He/she has explained in quite some detail.
Now MSC seems to be getting told off about the way he/she does it. I have no idea why.
MSC is showing how it is possible to do it as far as I can see.

Doesnt matter if others dont like or wouldnt do it that way, does it.
Perhaps though, he has given other lurkers food for thought [only part pun intended!]

I see no evidence of MTSgroupie seeing "the importance of wanting to eat quality responsibly sourced food." Unless MTSgroupie knows something about Costco chicken the happygardening doesn't.

So much interest in my food bill .

Happy - At weekends and holidays lunch is often something light like a salad or sandwiches or just toast. The kids quite like plain pasta pesto. Yup, we bulk buy pasta as well. We also bulk buy rice from Wing Yip so fried rice with egg, peas and bacon bits is another cheap meal.

socareless hit it on the nose earlier. No matter how many questions I answer, you ladies inevitably come back with yet another 'what about this then? Such is your determination to prove that I can't possibly be spending less than you nice keen eye on the bargains salt of the earth people

I mean, I'm told that I can't possibly afford all the insurance on my claimed budget. I point out that I don't have PPI or illness protection so my insurance is about a third of theirs. Ah yes, you must be underinsured then. No, the building is £1m. We've now moved onto how much I spend on fruit

The best ignoring the facts post was the one about us starving just to pay the school fees. Hunters chicken and mash for dinner is hardly us 'starving'. And the fact that we are banking DP's income is conveniently forgotten since it doesn't play to the preferred story of a family that penny pinches just so they can afford the private school fees.

Anyway, just to let you know, today was a quiet day job-wise for me. Hence my availability for this how to feed a family on £42 a week sub thread. For the rest of the week I got month end reports to collate and summarise for submission to people higher up the food chain. So if you need any more tips on how to afford private school on £80-£100k then it will have to wait.

(threads about baby names and grabby MILs is looking very appealing at this point in time)

Different people have different priorities. At least MTS is brave enough to set hers out.

We all want different things in life MTS as long as you and your family are happy with your choices then that's all that matters.

Savoury yuk rules.

Happy - you buy 22 pints of organic milk a week. We buy one pint of semi skimmed.

We mostly drink Earl Grey so we don't use milk. DCs like a glass of hot milk when they come home so that pint is for them. DCs school has mineral water fountains scattered around the premises. The school provided then with a water bottle each which they top up at the water fountain. So are drinks bill for the week is one pint of milk versus your 22 pints plus whatever ever drinks you buy.

So to summarise before I go to bed, I pay less in insurance than a lot of you because we don't have PPI or extra cover. We buy fruit from our local market for one third of what Sainsbury charges and no, we do not buy 22 pints of organic milk a week.

No wonder you ladies can't afford private if this is how you spend your income. Anyway, my bed beckons.

1 pint of milk a week?! Must be tiny glasses of hot milk if that lasts a week!

Do you put the milk in vodka shot glasses?

As I said we all want and like different things and we all have different priorities.

One 'drink' is half a cup of milk in one of those small plastic tumblers that we got from Ikea. And you are assuming that it's a 7 days a week without fail OCD thing :)

But we don't have different priorities.

For me a lot of what you pay for is financed by my company. My work takes me to HK, NY and Singapore so I don't need to pay for foreign holidays. DS will be touring with the school athletics team. Likewise DD with her netball team. That is factored into the fees. As I've mentioned, we are banking DP's income.

So, to summarise, we regularly eat out, travel extensively and we are saving towards our retirement. We spend less on food but that is because we bulk buy or we support our local market traders as opposed to Sainsbury and we avoid expensive oven ready meals.

In which ways is your priorities different?
I mean, we aren't sacrificing anything.

Wow where do you buy your fruit from Seeker. I often get organic fruit and veg from Riverfird if in feeling extravagant. A veg box is about £12-14 per week plus milk & eggs takes it to about £16. I then go to the local butchers for my meat ( 3 pork chops for £2.99 huge and meaty) and the corner shop near to where I work for bread and stuff. Ill pop to Asda once a week for the occasional box of fish fingers and pizza and pasta (ds doesn't like lumps so I make my own sauce from a very cheap box of passata, garlic & herbs.) and the kids like the Asda not from concentrate spoke and mango (3 for £5 )

Most primary schools are brilliant now because of years of good training and money going into them. The national curriculum means that all children have access to the same subjects and systems. There is learning through play in the foundation stage which encourages children to find their own way rather than feel they have to fit into a mould.

The main benefit is that you can go to the local school which means that you meet local kids and parents and really forge good friendships. Choose a school where there are a reasonable number of families that you look like you will get along with.

Wrong thread dude. This thread is about my food bill. The thread about education is down the corridor and 2nd door on the right.

:)

I think that my food bill has been done to death but before I return to the real world and actually do some work, why the snobby remarks about Costco chicken?

I know that there is this thing about Aberdeen steaks but isn't a chicken just a chicken?

I grew up in the Midlands and attended a very academic girls' day school despite living in grammar school territory. I really enjoyed the experience and would not hesitate to send DC there if we ever moved back near enough.

We have also lived in Trafford - another grammar school area where DC1 started state primary. In retrospect, all the state primaries in the area were fairly pushy due to affluent MC parents having high expectations and expecting their DC to be prepped well for the 11+. DH commented that DC1's state primary had the ethos and discipline of the independent sector without the fees.

Having relocated for work a few years ago to an area (incidentally non grammar) where the LEA is pretty much bottom of the league and I can compare the huge differences between on the face of it, 2 Ofsted outstanding state primaries, it's a huge shock to realise that my previous confidence in the state sector (our experience in Trafford) has now taken a severe knock in our 'new' area. We do like where we live, it's an attractive area and we have put down roots....the only downside is the state schooling in the area. Since we live in the country (due to work proximity) we have a limited choice of independent schools as well. 1/3 of the sole day prep school who re-enter the state system dominate the top stream of the senior school. This is a small town - everyone knows everything! Might be time for a name change now too!

I sent my DD to a state primary as I wanted to have a more rounded start in life, at a time when I believe academic achievement is less important than learning basic life skills and gaining an understanding that everyone is different and that's a good thing. I did save up during that time to enable me to send her to a private secondary but she'll switch to a very good state 6th form college at 16. If I had more than one child, as a single self-employed mum I wouldn't be able to afford it but wouldn't think it was the end of the world either. I've just paid the final instalment on the first year's fees and to be honest, it hasn't seemed like a big deal. Problem with starting them out at a private school, it's harder to take them out of the system because of the way they're mollycoddled. The change up from primary to private was seamless.

I don't think it's snobby not to want to eat battery chickens is it? Particularly when it's a choice, rather than a necessity.

Cheap food like Costcos is produced by exploiting someone in the production chain usually the primary producer: the farmer and by compromising on animal welfare. That's my real objection to it. I personally don't like either the texture or taste of cheap chicken but that's really only a side issue.
But then MTS unless you live under a stone you probably know this already.

happy - most of your stuff is made in sweat shops in Vietnam, China, India and Co. Unless you live under a stone you know that as well.

seeker - doesn't this strike you as ironic? I mean, you constantly mock parents who pay loads for PE in the belief that it's expensive so it must be better. But here you are going on about how a expensive happier chicken is a tastier chicken.

Anyway, heading off to work now.