Think Carefully Before Opting for Private Education

[PRMum2012]

i am a mum of two (23 months and 3 in august)I am self-employed, part time and married to a lovely architect. We have a great life and two happy kids.

On paper I would say I have not done too badly with my life and my aim is to work full time as soon as possible now my kids are a bit older. If the work was available I would happily work full time now.

Despite setting up my own business I can't help feeling like a failure that I can't afford for my own children, what my parents did for me.... It annoys me that I put so much importance on it ... I am now passionate about finding a decent local primary school for my children so they don't feel the same pressure i do now, when they are older and looking for schools for their kids ....but i'll be honest ......assuming i can afford it i would try and do it from 11 if i can....!!!!...

Hopefully by then, my kids will have an input too and they will be forming their own opinions on the issue.

Depending on mortgage and family support I can't see that it's possible for anyone with two kids earning under £80,000 - £1000,000 + (as a family income) to afford private education anymore, my advice is unless you have a thriving business or two, work as a dr, lawyer or banker.... Forget it.

It's really hard to watch my younger sibling do it for her kids, they are paying for private prep while we cant afford it.... But it really upsets me I feel like this... why can't I just be happy for them and quietly satisfied that I don't need to pay on top of my taxes for my kids education.

For my own primary education i went privately, tried the local school for secondary education but was bullied so moved back to the private system.... I had a mix of private and state during secondary - my second private school was amazing but the second state school I attended for 6th form (my choice) was great too so why is this all having such an impact on what I want for my own kids.

My DH is much more laid back, he went privately all the way through but doesn't place as much value on it as I do/did....I wish I felt the same way but all I feel now is pressure to earn more money so I can pay for them both from 11.

"Am I the only person whose meals are a voyage of discovery, rather than planned in advance?... Very few of my meals have a recognisable name, despite my children's queries as to what they are eating tonight (er, everything that needed using up in the fridge mixed together?...)."

This is what my ds at the age of 4 christened "savoury yuck"!

Aww. Not inviting your round to eat at ours, then, seeker. "Savoury yuk," indeed. I call it being free to buy what you want in the supermarket and not be slave to the requirements of some silly recipe .

My market sells grapes and plums each for a pound a bowl. Sainsbury charges £3 for similar amount of grapes and £2 for the plums.

Total spend on fruit this week is £4 a week on fruits (3 bowls of grapes and a bowl of plums). This wouid cost me £11 at Sainsbury.

The more we proceed along this sub- thread the more ironic it becomes. I'm supposed to be the snobby private school parent but it is you ladies that are going.on about how people on £42 pw must be feeding themselves crap cuts of meat and no fruit and how they couldn't live this way.

Well breakfast this morning probably cost us less than ×£2 with a loaf of bread at £1 (usually 1.45 but buy 2 for £2). DCs have toast and milk, DH just has tea and I have oats. DCs lunch inclusive in fees, their snack is banana at about 16p each for 3DCs. Dinner is rice and and veg sauce I made over weekend of which the portion can't have cost more than £5. So possible to eat well for less.

I watched an episode where a woman said she couldn't make a packed lunch for three people for £17. I couldn't believe it

So is that too frugal just ? I agree MTS, I am quite surprised by the amount spent on food snobbery

I could make a feast of epic proportions for £17 socareless

m5stell - seeker has conveniently forgotten what I posted upthread but DCs lunch is separately accounted for in the figure I gave for school fees. Lunch for me is usually a home made saladso cost is neglible. Work provides free coffee/tea and pastries so snacks ate free. Plus we regularly eat out on expenses. So it's not exactly a frugal existence.

Phew just

Missed the ds's lunch separately accounted for. Didn't miss Costco chicken.

Fair play- I couldn't do it for more than a couple of weeks.

I've never thought you were a snob, BSGroupie!

MTS please show me where I said you were eating "cheap crap" or your DC's school is cheap crap. You've implied you spend £42 a week on food for a family of four which I find extraordinary. According to one of your posts you have spent £20 in three days only on main meals. I'm not the greatest mathematician but in my book that leaves you with £22 for 4 days so just over £5 a day that's not a lot. I don't believe anyone can buy three meals for a family of four with £5 and your own posting backs this up because you've detailed that you're spending £5-8 on a main meal thus there is nothing left over for breakfast or lunch. So in my book your children are going hungry at times. You state you have substantial income but save it or spend it on school fees I and I suspect most people would rather put three meals a day in front of their children cheap crap or not before they did anything else with their money.

This food subthread is funny on so many levels.

The so-called snobby private school parents are the ones bulk buying from wholesalers and the local market and the anti PE are the ones going on about how they can't possibly live on such a small food budget.

Can you imagine the reaction if I said that I couldn't live on £x per week?

I can't imagine not bulk buying. We are a family of 5, both adults working full time, live in semi rural area so not easy to shop everyday...

MTS what about during the holidays/weekend/exeats etc no school lunches then?
I too won't shop in Costco because I want to support British farmers in particular dairy farmers (my background) who are on their knees if something doesn't change soon we will be importing all our milk and God know what the welfare hygiene standards will be on that and we also need farmers to preserve our landscapes. So all my food is where possible sourced locally this is not snobbery it's supporting my local industry and maintaining our wonderful scenery. As a non drinker/smoker I have few other extravagences.

Where do I attribute the crap food comment to you happy??? I was referring to seeker going on about Costco chicken. And where do I make any mention of crap schools? We've been (pointlessly) discussing food budgets for the last few hours.

I shop weekly but not in the bulk sense of the word associated with shops like Costco not that I've ever been in one. But I understand you buy 20 chicken breasts and 5000 tea bags and 50 loo rolls. I don't live in a broom cupboard but where on earth do you put all this stuff I just dont have the space.

MTS sorry thought you were making the comment at me misunderstood it.

Costco chicken=cheap crap. Undeniable fact.

It's probably got as much chicken in it as Tesco beef lasagne has beef . Probably provides you with plenty of water, though. I'm more amused by the competitive-budget-shopping than anything else. Some people really will compete over anything.

I have no idea why we're talking about it. But I do want to know how you feed a family of 4 for 42 quid a week on a regular basis. I would love to be able to do that!

Well seeker I have to say I couldn't agree with you more. I think not only is it crap in that it is filled with water sugar and God knows what also awful welfare standards and unlikely to be British it also tastes like crap.

It's an amazingly specific amount, £42 per week. I spend different amounts each week, depending on whether I'm stocking up the freezer, whether I have to buy washing powder, whether I'm hungry when I go shopping... and I don't give a toss how much one banana costs, as I buy them in bunches. Either I can afford the bunch I want, or I can't. Unless I were really short of cash and struggling to find an affordable way to eat healthily, surely it would be quite anal to work out how much I was spending per banana? It reminds me of going back to university, when it really was relevant exactly how much I spent. If you have to calculate the cost of you food right down to the last bite, you are either struggling with the bills or spend a lot of time working out very tedious details when you could be doing something a bit more interesting with your time.

I wouldn't love to feed a family of 4 for £42 a week because I want myself and my children to eat quality responsibly sourced food. You can't get that for £42 a week. For example we drink 22 pints of organic milk a week that's nearly £9 in just milk alone.