How to thank teachers

[kmg1]

The 'teachers' thread has left me feeling really fed up.

My boys attend a fantastic (state) school, and the staff there are ALL absolutely BRILLIANT. I want to thank them and encourage them and make them realise they are appreciated by me. I try to do this - obviously we sent Christmas prezzies and cards with notes in ...

Clearly teachers get some satisfaction from seeing the progress the children make, but I hate to think that my boys' teachers might think that we regard them in the way some posters on here regard their teachers.

So ... on Thursday ds1 came home with a little leaflet about the forthcoming term's work (Year 2). And it was fantastic - brief, but extremely informative, and very well put together. Both dh and I commented how helpful it is. ... Also on the first day of term he had written a book review for her (unrequested), and she read it, and wrote 3 or 4 really inspiring sentences for him about it, and about books/reading in general - on the first day of term - I'm sure she had plenty of other things to do with her time ... I don't see ds1's teacher at all during the week unless I seek her out specially. Should I seek her out specially to thank her and comment, or is that too creepy? I could put a note in his reading book, but that seems even more formal and uncomfortable.

So you teachers out there - do you get thanked/encouraged enough/at all by parents. What do you think?

Popsycal, she alredy has

'kmq1 I'd love to have your school. When dd moved schools I made a point of telling the teacher how much happier she was at school since the bullying stopped. It was all downhill after that and I haven't felt the need to thank them again. I id thank the head for intervening over a problem getting books changed but two weeks later it was back to pre-complaint standard. '

Warm, isn't it? On a thread all about being nice to us, she still feels the need to complain.

The 'using different teaching styles' bit on the other thread did make me laugh. Talk about teaching your granny to suck eggs. Oops, look I'm coming over all superior again.....or might it just be that we all know about the stuff she is talking about, and impiment it every day.

I have 2 sixth form mentors working with me (re 'untrained' staff) and they are ACE! But I don't think that I'd like Robinw in my classroom.

Oh and we are being OFSEADed in a month, what joy is mine!!!

Oh - that's the teacher in me not taking notice properly!
typical hey!

bummer about ofsted!

Have to admit today's comments made me smile too. Mind I did have all day to laze around doing nothing, bad teacher me

It's back, and even worse this time.

I read it and was so shocked I was stunned into silence at the nastiness she'd written. I recovered enough to put in a basic statement only. You are so much better at putting my feelings into words than I am, support everything you said.

I follwed up again, because I was too cross at her basic nastyness the first time around. Is she a troll?

Sorry, can spell nastiness!

I thout that at first but she been around a while and several are non offensive ones. It is only the education ones I have read where she always has a dig. Although I heard she was a bit off to someone about feeding too.

I don't mind anyone having a different opinion to me but it is nastiness that reaaly gets to me, especially if I have been doing school stuff before reading it.

And that she thinks that we should all take her advice (ha!) that we all know about and just humbly admit that we have been crap teachers all along. we are all obviously deluding ourselves, and imagining the learning our children show and improved results. And she can't see the lack of logic to her argument. Just because some teacher are crap, it doesn't mean that we all are. Thats why I keep making the point about some parents are crap, but most are great. But logic isn't her strong point.

Exactly. I don't think she is posting to listen to other's views - she just wants to give her own, in an offensive and unpleasant manner it seems.

She isn't a troll. She has been posting on here for a long time; was certainly here when I first came on mumsnet a couple of years ago. Her views tend to be extreme ones, and in the past have often left her polarised in a discussion ... as a mum of two lively, often badly behaved boys, I have frequently felt 'got at' by her views on parenting ... but I've not known her to be so vicious in her attacks before, and have always been happy to respect her right to her opinion (and ignore it) and listen to other opinions which reflect my experience more closely ... like Tigermoth, for example, another longterm poster on here, whose advice is always very helpful to me. But this time Robinw seems to have gone so far that I have totally lost any respect I had for her.

Not a troll, certainly, but she has been just as vicious on breastfeeding threads a number of times, and has repeatedly and persistently used the terms "breastfeeding nazis" and "breastfeeding mafia" purely in order to put people's backs up.

She isn't a troll. I remember having a right old ding-dong with her years ago - can't even remember what it was about now!! She has helped quite a few mumsnetters with her nut-allergy knowledge and stuff about xylitol and ear infections, but has very strong views and sometimes doesn't come across well IMO.

Robin does post useful advice and she is not a troll. As you can see, lots if mumsnetters, including me, have had 'lively discussions' with her in the past. She's still here and we are, too. I'm not sure what that says about Robin and us, but that fact is undeniable.

I don't think I can remember such nasty, personal posts. I've taken part in lots of 'heated' discussions, the war in Iraq, circumcision, even the dreaded stolen grapes thread. But I agree with what others have posted, I can't repect robinw's views. I disgree with lots of posters on Mumsnet. I have the greatest respect for Jimjams, although we disagree on several topics. But her posts are always well thought out, interesting and put forward in a positive and helpful manner. That might be the difference, they way in which things are put. Robinw seems to be going out of her way to be as rude and offensive as she possibly can.

FWIW, I don't think she is aiming at you teachers specifically, but rather the teachers who've let her child down. When you've had such a rotten experience, it must be tempting to get a jaundiced view and lump all members of a group together. This isn't meant to excuse her, but just to help you stop taking her attacks personally. She is coming from a wounded position, that's why she's so vicious. I don't blame you for being upset - I would be if someone attacked my profession.

Droile, I think that she is specificaly attacking those teachers that have posted on the other thread. In the most recent post of hers she infers that we are childlike, and possible mentaly disturbed, deluded that we are 'good' teachers. We have all posted that we are sorry that she has had a bad relationship with her child's teachers, and have been rewarded with venom and downright rudeness. She has gone so far as to indicate that teachers who are attacked are to blame by failing to stimulate their children enough.

As others have posted if she had made the same sort of blanket condemnation of a racial or etnic group, people would be horrified. She may have been let down by teachers but that gives her absolutly no right to cast doubt on the professionalism of others.

I do see why she is doing it, but I'm sorry I don't think that excuses her hateful comments.

I agree with hmb In her later posts robinw does insult specifically teachers on THAT thread, and she even begins to have a dig at parents too who have supported teachers and the education system.

I am with HMB and Hulababy - HMB describes quite accurately how the thread has degenerated...

She's substituting you for the teachers that have let her down. She can't be attacking you as teachers personally, because she doesn't know you!
I'm not excusing her, but I do think she is screwed up about it all and not talking logically. She's lumped the whole profession together, isn't arguing logically or coherently and is generally going wild. I don't think any of you should take such an off-the-rails rant personally, but I do see why you feel the need to defend the profession.

Droil I do understand what you are saying, but it is almost impossible not to be hurt when someone you have never met casts doubt on your profesionalism. I may have responded swiftly because teacher, like mothers are always someone's whipping boy! If the 'media' aren't having a go at mothers (not usualy dads!) for the way they are bringing up kids they are having a go at the teachers!

I also know that the worst kids I teach are those who's parents send them into school with a violently 'anti' attitude to school and staff. It is very hard to work with children who tell you that they don't do homework because their father says teachers only set it because they are too lazy to do the work in class! There is a significant subgroup of parents who positivly delight in making teachers work harder. Very often they are doing this because they had a bad time during their own school days. I realise this and feel sorry for them. But I am only human and I can only take the insults for so long before they get on my nerves.

Now the boy who will not do his homework is my responsibility. It is my job to teach him and I will do this in as professional a way as possible, even if I think that his father is an idiot. But robinw is not my responsibility. She can onto a thread that was specificaly asking for information from teachers and started to spout nastiness. While I may feel sorry for her and her dd I will not stand idly by and let her heap scorn on the hard work that most teachers do. If she had said that asylum seakers were childlike and provoked assaults by being 'different' would you ignore it? Would you seek to find reasons for it, or would you tell her that that sort of vile behaviour isn't tolerated in a civilised newsgroup? Doing both might be the best I suppose. While it is right that we understand where she is coming from, you also have to remember that teachers come to the discussion with a 'background' too, of being undervalued and despised by some of those that we teach. (And I'm not talking about the magnificent support that has beeen given to us by all the wonderful mumsnetters )

FWIW, I think droile has summed things up robinwise, though I do think attacks got much more personal the more the discussion progressed. And I can see why teachers put their side of the story.

Slightly off topic, I have wondered what teachers think sometimes reading other mumsnet threads here. IMO there have been quite a few threads over the years when a parent comes on here with a problem about a teacher or school, other mumsnetters support the parent, the school or teacher in question is roundly condemned, the poster is advised to meet with the head teacher or take it further etc. Now having read your answers to robins questions, I wonder if teachers out there have been itching to add their twopence worth to other threads in the past, showing the problem from their angle?

On these past threads I'm thinking about, discussion centres round a specific problem which is not the same as the heated thread we're talking about now. There is no general attack on teachers or schools. And on these threads teachers do sometimes add opposing views, but certainly not always, as I remember it. So, to stop my rambling, have you teachers had to bite your tongues in the past when reading other mumsnet education threads?

Many education threads, if I knew about the topic, I have contributed too as a teacher. Even where I have disagreed with others I have simply said so and given my reasons. A couple where the debate has gotten heated I have left alone. I did contribute to a private v state thread both as a teacher and a parent and that got very heated at times but I gave my opinions as I did on this more recent thread. On the whole I find that MN has people who listen to each others views and take them on board, without mud slinging and abuse so I feel able to do this. This recent thread however is the first I have written on where the remarks have become so personal.

I wasn't saying that any of you should have ignored it, I was just trying to make you feel better.

I often have to listen to nasty comments about particular groups, one of which I belong to myself. I've had these comments since I was a child. With time, you have to learn not to take them personally. You have to, otherwise you'd be insane.

So I think you were all right to defend yourselves, but you need to take some of it with a pinch of salt and remember who she's really addressing. It's easy for me to say this, I know, as I'm not a teacher. But it's interesting for me to get some perspective for a change! I'm usually right on the firing line.