Many more are dumped on us because their parents are ashamed of their lack of ability or they are challenging in some way behaviourally and we have to sort it out."
"DC thrive with us because of discipline and no DC with challenging behaviour. DC with challenging behaviour are invited to leave us very quickly."
aren't these two statements contradictory ...you admit in the second to failing
No Mrz.not contradictory at all. Those with behaviour issues either change very quickly or are invited to move on.
Let me give you an example of such a DS - (he was at that Scottish School where a certain Duke and his wife sent their first born - not mentioning names of schools here for reputation reasons) - the boy was challenging in his behaviour there.
He was invited to leave.
He went to another school of high repute. They also invited him to leave.
He came to us and we took him on the grounds that we could only accept him if he did not disrupt our classes. Unfortunately he lasted on morning with us before an incident (he told one of the teachers to "f* off? in his first lesson. He was out of school before the lunch time bell rang (and out of class before the first 20 mins was up).
He was then sent to a more minor school but o good reputation somewhere in North Devon. His parents it is rumoured agreed to pay triple fees and provide him with an LSA (although he did not have any kind of statement!) and he was taught virtually in isolation. He boarded because his poor frazzled DP did not want him home. Again he was not given great opportunities to mix with others unless he could behave himself. It was also told to me that most of the other pupils avoided him.
Most of our real success stories are DC who are sent to us because they are not top box sharp tools (although some are top drawer). Their parents do not want them seen to be failing educationally and in a private school that "shame" can remain secret. A shame (embarrassment).is what many such DP feel it is. These DC often accept discipline and find schools like ours places which are secure and certain in a world where their parents are always moving around and have little time for them.
And whilst their parents may want their DC to get a suitable education, they are not driven by it - so not engaged in the way is often suggested (after all if you are going to manage dad?s estate you don?t need qualifications do you?).
Many times their parents do not care about their education (as I called them CBA).
But challenging behaviour is not accepted. After all if you were paying 10K or more (even in a minor private school) for your DC to be educated would you want foul mouthed abusive and disruptive pupils with your child? (I doubt it). Its economics really - we remove the foul mouthed and challenging or we lose revenue from many more parents. who remove their DC instead.