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Original poster

has anyone turned down a massive discount >=50% to private school?? why?

157 replies

tidybooks · 25/10/2012 14:45

We have been offerred half price prep school for our sons, (discount is related to my FIL's profession).

Obviously we would still have to pay quite a lot but it is much more affordable with the discount and we could just able manage it.

Wouldn't have considered private before secondary otherwise.

Not sure what to do, feel that perhaps it is too good to turn down, but then it's still a lot of money.

OP posts:
butisthismyname · 25/10/2012 14:46

If you can afford it and you feel that it is the right place for you and your son, for goodness sake do it! If you don't , then don't!

Original poster
tidybooks · 25/10/2012 14:48

well it's a lovely school, but not sure how much better than state it is really. main difference is the class sizes and the fact that academic attainment is much higher. Not that much bothered by grades though.

We can afford it but we would notice the money going and it would be a bit of a pinch.

OP posts:
Original poster
tidybooks · 25/10/2012 14:50

what I mean is that I'm not that bothered by grades (am sure the school is!)

OP posts:
almapudden · 25/10/2012 14:54

Oh do it. Even if you go back to state at secondary, your children will have learnt great habits which will stand them in fantastic stead - many prep schools really promote self-directed learning and high aspirations in all fields (not just academic).

As an aside, why aren't you bothered by grades?

TheDeathAndGlories · 25/10/2012 14:56

Have you visited the school?
A good prep will offer so much more the just academic grades.

TiAAAAARGHo · 25/10/2012 14:58

Go and have a look round the school (and any others you think you might want to use) and then make lists of all their good/bad points. If the private school comes out on top and you can afford it - go for it. If however you prefer the atmosphere/approach/facilities/subject range/staff at a different school - go with that one instead.

Its more important to pick the right school for your child than anything else.

Original poster
tidybooks · 25/10/2012 15:00

Re the grades - I just think that whether you do well in exams at 16/18 and uni depends a lot on personality and schooling from (say) 11 onwards.

As long as they are doing ok aged 7 I don't really care if they are working at the age of a 9 year old or whatever, just that they are making progress and happy at school.
Level 5, 6 or 4 in their SATs at 11 - I'm not really that bothered.

We visited the school and it was lovely - just not sure whether it is 4k a year lovely.

OP posts:
Original poster
tidybooks · 25/10/2012 15:02

We aren't considering other private schools as we haven't got a discount there (we wouldn't qualify for bursaries).

If we had lots of money we probably wouldn't go to this school (grounds very small) but that isn't that important I suppose.

OP posts:
TakingTheStairs · 25/10/2012 15:03

Could I be nosy and ask what profession would enable a grandchild to a discount on fees?
And yes, I would for sure take the opportunity.

Original poster
tidybooks · 25/10/2012 15:11

Discount is church/ local area related. FIL is a clergy man.

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MrsCantSayAnything · 25/10/2012 15:15

I took my DD out of a prep where she had a full bursary. Reasons were this....e had another DD...could not afford to pay her fees. Private secondary would have been impossible and there was no way of knowing either DD was academic enough for scholarships....also, we felt the pinch when it came to extra classes, uniforms and the fact that the school was really rather small.

DD is now thriving in year 4 of state school and smaller DD in reception and doing well.

APMF · 25/10/2012 15:21

Why are you considering it if you aren't bothered by grades AND, even with discount, you will notice the drop in disposable income?

Mine are at Indies because grades matter to me. Otherwise I would put them in the local good-but-not-highly-academic school and spend the saved fees on nice holidays and new car.

Original poster
tidybooks · 25/10/2012 15:23

I think I am thinking about it because the offer seems a bit "too good to miss".

I don't care about grades at such a young age (tbh I think my children are bright enough that they will do well at any ok-ish primary) but I do care a lot about them being happy at school. Think perhaps they will be happier at the prep.

OP posts:
TiAAAAARGHo · 25/10/2012 15:33

If they would be happier at the prep, go for the prep. Happiness at school is very important.

TakingTheStairs · 25/10/2012 16:04

thanks tidy

LeeCoakley · 25/10/2012 16:14

Would the discount still stand if FiL died or left the church?

Original poster
tidybooks · 25/10/2012 16:18

I don't think it's at all likely that FIL will leave the church. Not sure what would happen if he died - I get the impression that they could stay on.

I don't really want to go into too many details - at risk of outing ourselves- but the discount is based on current/past connection with the school of a certain church.

OP posts:
mummytime · 25/10/2012 16:24

Would they be happier at the Prep? There is at least one Prep locally I wouldn't have sent my son to whatever the circumstances.
How is the Prep doing financially? Any danger of it closing?
What do you think of the Prep as a school compared to their current/future state school?
Just because it is fee paying doesn't make it better.
Does it have a strong religious ethos? How do you feel about that?
What schools does the Prep lead into?
What if you can no longer afford private at secondary?
Transport time? I didn't pursue a certain private school for my eldest because the travel time totally outweighed any advantages compared to a local state school.

IHeartKingThistle · 25/10/2012 16:45

Just to put my two-pennyworth in (and it's an observation not an opinion so please don't flame me) I have taught several children at a state secondary who had come from private schools previously, and they do tend to have problems. I do't necessarily mean being bullied; I've seen them go off the rails, get demotivated when they realise how far ahead they are etc. I'm not saying it happens to everyone but just maybe something to take into consideration if you don't think you could afford secondary.

IHeartKingThistle · 25/10/2012 16:46

Oh and please don't think it was my teaching that caused the problems!

sittinginthesun · 25/10/2012 16:52

To me, the choice would simply be - do you prefer the prep or the state? Which would be the best fit for your child and family?

My boys are at the local state. They are thriving, and flying grade wise. The two closest preps would be my last choice of school. I know several children and both, and have been round one several times. Don't like the ethos of either, for different reasons.

Nothing to do with state v private, just the schools.

OwedToAutumn · 25/10/2012 16:57

What sitting said.

Private schools are not always better than state schools, but if you can afford to send your DC to a private school, there are more schools available to choose from.

So, if you prefer it over the local state schools, go for it. If not, not.

gelo · 25/10/2012 18:26

Yes, and because we preferred another school. It's a great offer, but if it's not where you want to send your child then it's not that great a deal after all.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 25/10/2012 18:35

Yes, I suppose. I teach in an independent secondary, and my children therefore qualify for half price attendance at the associated prep. Which is a very good school, but their village primary is just as good. And free, and all their friends go there.

Yellowtip · 25/10/2012 18:36

Yes, my eldest three DDs were each offered a 50% scholarship. I don't know why I put them in for the exam really (I was young, impressionable, pressured, persuaded that the local comps would destroy their lives. Etc.). But then they subsequently all got into a far, far better state school. So it worked out fine.

There would have been no way with DD4 that I'd entertain the idea of her going to the independent, even on 100%.