has anyone turned down a massive discount >=50% to private school?? why?

[tidybooks]

We have been offerred half price prep school for our sons, (discount is related to my FIL's profession).

Obviously we would still have to pay quite a lot but it is much more affordable with the discount and we could just able manage it.

Wouldn't have considered private before secondary otherwise.

Not sure what to do, feel that perhaps it is too good to turn down, but then it's still a lot of money.

Only not bitchy if you fail to remember to add in the "unlike some women" comment.

I picked a highly paid career so that I could provide better for my children, too. Then I realised I didn't need to remain in the highly paid career all my life in order to provide them with exactly what I felt they needed - and that includes a private education if I ever deem that to be necessary.

I think the discount is a bit of a red herring really.

Think about the price you will be paying . If that was the standard fee for all would you be considering it?

I apply this principle to anything I am tempted to buy that is reduced in price!

I agree, Feckbox. It isn't cheap at half the price and I wouldn't consider something too good to miss just because it was in the sale if I felt it to have been overhyped and overpriced in the first place. I would have to REALLY want something to stretch my finances to afford it.

Who said I had no income of my own Xenia ? I might have arranged matters so that I have plenty enough for my needs and to be happy. I wouldn't be happy in N.London that's for sure. I've arranged education with some dexterity (and luck) so far so why not finances too? You do make a lot of assumptions :).

It wasn't too easy to find interesting work in Death Valley which is where we were posted on marriage, so I went into child rearing instead. I can't imagine my very independent and strong charactered DDs will give up work unless they're in that sort of position, but if their relationships work out so that they have to make a decision, I'll back them fully - I've emphasised to all of them that heaps of money isn't important in the grand scheme of things, that having just enough will do.

Sometimes your comments are sufficiently silly to warrant a direct comparison, especially when that direct comparison whips the blanket from under your feet.

Yeah, the infamous Queen Ethelburga's write to me and everyone else in a 20 mile radius telling us of the whopping discounts we could get! It's just marketing.

never had such an offer.but youre making it way too complicated
can you afford it?if so proceed
do you have moral objection?if strong objection dont proceed

@APMF lots of people pick 'highly paid' careers. How sad then, that when some people are very successful (financially and professionally) they don't leverage that success in any way to benefit their families other than paying school fees. I think it's particularly sad to see such people become completely hidebound and closed minded. One wonders where the verve and originality they presumably possessed in their youth has gone.

I don't to personalise threads but why would YT follow a husband's career when mine followed mine? How do couples make those decisions? Presumably in most cases man earns much more than woman as she married up so she follows his career. If she earns £100k and he is on £10k then things are reversed - in other words it's fairly gender neutral and based on income.

I don't understand any blanket under my feet.

Nor do I understand MA's point. If women earn a lot they leverage that success in heaps of ways - you have time to spend with them as you pay people do do dross jobs. You know about work things so you can share that with them. You ensure they graduate debt free (if you believe that benefits children), in general women are much happier too if they have successful careers and earn a lot of money so that is one of the best leveraging or advantage to the children - a happy parent and you provide them with the example that women can rise to the top and have fun rather than a woman is there to clean the loos and iron her husband's shirts in return for bed and board.

I think I am generally regarded as fairly original. God spare me from dull people. It's the boring ones - eg housewives talking about washing powder, I kid you not and even some workers one avoids.

@Mordian - Do you have someone specific in mind or are you just generalizing?

To me, it seems that you are projecting and making assumptions based on your own closed mind.

@Xenia You don't need to tell me how high earning women benefit their families.

There is nothing original about being an ex magic circle lawyer who didn't make partner, sets up on their own, has never moved from the North London legal/accounting village and sends their DDs to Habs. There clearly was a lot original in being a woman setting up on her own when you did it - you certainly blazed a trail there - but the only originality was in being a woman following a well trodden male path. There is nothing original about the career you followed. You just followed the men.

If I was you I wouldn't hold myself out to my kids as an example of 'how to do it' purely because it will not be possible to follow such an already outmoded career ate in the future. I don't hold myself out to my kids as an example of how to do it and I've certainly been a lot more original in my career linked choices.

I too don't find it very interesting talking about housework but I imagine that most SAHMs have more in their lives than that. I don't find people with desperately limited horizons or ridiculous idées fixe particularly interesting, either.

the thing XENIA never ever adresses is the fact that she employs what she no doubt sees as an underclass to care for these children while she is at work

@APMF clearky I was referencing Xenia and her fixation with the fallacy that being a north London lawyer is the only way to earn shit loads of money and provide the best opportunities for DCs.

Personally I don't understand anyone spending money on private preparatory schools. It sounds like you've seen a bargain the sales and think it's too good to miss. You know that means you don't really want it.

Save your money for other enjoyable things for your child.

I don't think we need to be quite so personal. I don't think I've said what I do.

I am healthy and happy. I would imagine most of us most of all want that for our children. If you can achieve that internal state that is a good way to be whether you are incarcerated, a cleaner or a leading surgeon or even a housewife. I don't find my work at all dull. I don't see my work as me although my work is fascinating and has taken me all over the world. There are lots of aspects to my life (this is where I get castigated for mentioning my island but it is a good example) all kinds of things I enjoy. However certainly what is interesting to one person is not to another and I have sat there at mothers' dinners from school where literally they have talked about sun lotion for 20 minutes plus.

To suggestion women have limited horizons who want more women to do well at work and have interesting lives is kind of anti feminist surely? Those who hallow a life of service and cleaning at home do women a huge disservice, maintaining a myth that housewifery is a higher calling damage women hugely and their chances for success as we try to move from owning 1% to 5-0% or even 99% of the world's wealth (men currently own 99% of it). We are only just getting started in getting to women to where they want to be.

My parents offered to pay.

But you know what? State school had a fantastically better provision than private, because my kids go to Sgoil Ghaidlig - Gaelic medium education, and thus are bilingual, something no private school could offer.

And just ignore Xenia. I've been on MN 10 years and she's still trotting out the same old lines. Personally, I'd rather be me, working in the voluntary sector as a teacher to young mums, than a London lawyer. I'm sure my job satisfaction is the same, if not better.

but you leave your kids with these suncream mentioning morons Xenia

they care for your kids!

how does that work? is that a shit job too?

how dare you instruct posters whom to ignore or engage weegiemum
youre not a moderator its not your role.if you dont like post you ignore
and i think as adults we can all figure which posts we like and dislike without guidance

oh gaelic, that ll be handy then

I don't think I've said what my job is.

I certainly don't have kids as I am not of the social class which would use that awful word kid.

My youngest are too big to need anyone and we were always lucky to have good people - bringing up children is a joint effort.

Suncream mentioning mothers - well some people male and female have a low IQ and are terribly boring and obviously one does not necessarily want long conversations with them. We have debated often before now that it tends to be the less clever and less well educated lower paid women who stay at home and those who earn a lot and are bright who work.

@Xenia it was you who made this thread personal, with your 'like some women' comment. However, as you said, I think these comparisons are interesting. Unless you have serious reading comprehension problems you won't actually believe that I suggested your horizons were limited for suggesting women should have good jobs. Aside from the fact that I have argued on your side on this point in many threads, I clearly stated that I am a high earner. I believe that your horizons are limited (based on the evidence you provide in the threads I have read on MN - I'm sure I haven't read every thread you've posted in though so I can't say based on all your MN posts) because you refuse to accept that it is possible to live outside the north London lawyer village and be highly paid, successful, and provide your kids with opportunities. If you genuinely want to advance women rather than just to advance your own agenda you will need to get your mind around the fact that you are not the only example of how to be a successful woman and yours was never the only sort of path that worked, and increasingly your sort of path is unlikely to lead to success in the future.

lol,you pull someone up on personal pots,by being attacking and personal
priceless
kettle.pot.black

you used Nannies though presumably? for your offspring

Awww ... come on guys, it wouldn't be a 'private school' thread without Zenia .

It really is all about the school - small private schools can tend to be 'bitchier' amongst the girls than your bigger local school. If they are happy where they are I would probably leave things as is - if it isn't broken, it doesn't need fixing. It's not a bargain if you don't feel there's much more you can get out of it that you don't already get AND you would have to make sacrifices. As someone else said, private is not always better.

My 3DS go to prep, because I always went private and I don't know any different - and I have a successful career that pays for it (but if I could do it differently I'd bite your arm off to be a SAHM)!!!!

Oops, finger slip - Xenia, not Zenia