How exactly do you know that your DC should go to grammar school?

[plus3]

Sorry for the ridiculous question, but I am going slightly bonkers.

DS is in yr 4 and has unspecified learning difficulties - mainly with attention and processing instructions. He is bright & remembers incredibly well. Literacy & science are his favourite subjects, and thinks he struggles with Maths but is actually above average. He craves structure and routine

My problem is that I am aware of some children in his class already doing extra work out of school (such as explore & kumon etc) and I now feel like I am letting him down hugely.

Should we be jumping on the treadmill of extra work etc to give him an even playing field? I don't really believe in excesses coaching to pass the 11+

So how do we tell if Grammer could be the place for him? When I have spoken to school, they always imply that academically he will be fine (whatever that means)

Sorry if this long & rambling, it all seems so very competitive around here (Bucks) thanks.

90% of the kids sitting the test for our local grammar had coaching. The earlier you start the more certain the result. Not right but sadly true.

I suspect a high % have to continue with coaching to just keep up. Is this right? The school do not seem to mind.

I would say you need to go and sit in a few lessons and get a picture for yourself. Nothing like seeing something first hand. This will help you make the correct choices. And if thats your chosen school, get a tutor sooner rather than later!

Can anyone explain the Grammar situation in Hertfordshire to me in simple terms, I gather that the children take a "common entrance" type exam for a few schools, but from all I have read passing that doesn't guarantee you entry to any of the schools .

Plus3 your ds sounds a lot like my dd, she loves literacy and science and has a good aptitude for both, she doesn't have any confidence in maths, although her teachers reassure me she is good at it, y4 too.

It's a nightmare to get her to do any homework, so I think tutoring will be out, I do plan to past papers with her though.

@yellow (I know the thread has moved on. Sorry. Been tramping round NYC all day getting as much value as I can possibly wring out of my extra post conference days here). Yes, we have mentioned that. And also pointed out that if she damages her hands or arms that could have a serious impact on her actual, you know, career. They certainly took the point with hockey - she was never even allowed to hold a hockey stick (which suited everyone just fine). But as I said, her LE teacher, who hasn't taught her before, thinks she knows more than the experts and doesn't think dyspraxia exists. So we've escalated it. Whatever happens - she's not doing rugby. I'm not buying the kit, for a start.

"90% of the kids sitting the test for our local grammar had coaching"

Not disagreeing- but how do you know?

I'm like you OP....my DD is only 8 in year 4...struggles with maths but is far ahead in literacy and science....I can't cope with shoving and pushing her...she loves art...she doesn't like studying.

I can't afford Kumon.

I think I'll be leaving her alone. Our secondary schools are good...we do have a girls grammar but it's highly competitive and quite a distance.

I think my DD would do better at a local school that she can walk to or a short bus/bike journey tbh.

I have a degree and shop at Waitrose but I'm in the arts...so I'm perhaps not the best example of a pushy middle class parent!

And another important thing to remember is that you must have a psychological and practical plan B.

90% tutoring is the figure at DD school for those sitting the exam. Tutor mentioned many keep her on at GS. Our DD has sat the exam last week and still wants to go to £20/hr tutor. Agree with Laqueen regarding well qualified 'helpful' parents!
Interestingly, as an employer I prefer people who have had to work hard to achieve rather than naturals..!

Anteater how often does DD see the tutor?

And I understand what you're saying about hard workers versus naturals. I'm not a natural...I don't think DD is either.

What is a psychological Plan B seeker? (I don't think I have one).

A psychological plan B is thinking about the impact that failing would have on your child and the whole family, and how you would manage it.

All of the children at my dd's primary are being tutored, we know this because she was teased for being too poor to have a tutor. The children and parents regularly swap tutor stories.

Just because you are not tutored it does not mean that you are not a hard worker, my children all work hard at school .

All of the children who are applying to the grammar are being tutored.

I think it's time grammar schools were forced to comply with the Equalities Act, and take children with SEN and make proper provision accordingly. Why are they let off the hook?

Boffin
I'm sure I'll be corrected but I believe Free schools and religious affiliated schools do not have to comply either
LA schools will be turned into an SEN ghetto for the 93% of families who cannot afford fees.

seeker I'm struggling to see why failing would have an impact on the whole family. It might be a bitter disappointment but it's not a huge trauma.

This year is different to previous years so I haven't thought beyond the results, which are out in a week. A Plan B will have to emerge then if need be. I do much prefer the idea of these early tests and results, they do simplify the process to a great extent.

Really? What about being the only sibling to pass, or not to pass?

Talkin, it is not so long ago that kids where effectively expelled from schools for having the temerity to have or develop disabilities as pupils. Looks like it's going back that way.

Many families round here have passers and failers in their siblings. It doesn't seem to be a big deal.

Yep. People in favour of the system are always quick to say there's no issue with failing- it doesn't have any impact on a child at all to be told that they are less clever than their friends they have to go off to a different school for less clever people!

Or that they are a particularly special snowflake and too clever to be educated with their friends and have to go off to a different school for clever people!

Neither of these are healthy things to tell a 10 year old.

The upset starts even before they sit the exam.

As I said up thread , my dd has been teased for not having a tutor, she has also been repeatedly accused of being " thick" because she is not going to the grammar. As a parents I have been accused of not caring because my child is not being entered.

Some of the children who do not get in are devastated, as are the parents ,

I think they should make the 11+ compulsory.

seeker - how is your on getting on at his new school?

seeker I agree that it can be a fall out for the whole family. It shouldn't be, but have seen it happen. A friend's DD has just been tutored, high 5's across the board & expected to pass easily. Parents were bad mouthing the local Upper school & unfortunately she failed. They have had to do a huge amount of work to convince her that she's not stupid, and that her new school will be good for her. They have automatically decided not to enter their DS into the process.