Gifted and talented.

[jabed]

Its three O clock in the morning. I have a stinking headache which is why I am up and I would like to get contentious. Do you mind?

With no holds barred, my DS is by any definition gifted and talented. I am a fairly able kind of guy myself and DW is extremely gifted, so no prizes for guessing where he gets it.

The thing is, I have been pondering what I am going to do with him. We currently HE. This is because he is young- He is a late August born and would, were he at school he going into year 2 now. Many a couple of weeks younger would just be going into year 1.
He is gifted as I said, which is another reason for not putting him in school. he has a generally high IQ and academic giftedness and if SW is right he has musical talent.

I don?t want him accelerated. I don?t want him messed with. I want him to be what neither DW nor I were - a child with a childhood. My experience of the local school, which would have been our first choice (and was in fact where we sent him) for his primary years do not deserve him. The teachers cannot deal with gifted children. He does not deserve his peers in that school - disruptive and largely ill socialised with a large percentage at the other end of the spectrum to DS. But there is no other local school.

There is my own school which has a prep but they want to put him a year up.

So, what do you do in that situation? I am at a loss. I have looked at options and got bogged down. We have to make a decision before year 3 as I seriously believe he needs to be in formal education at some point there.

Just a general throw out to see what others would do with such a DS. I reserve the right to get toss potty if people get rude about my DS or my feelings about being middle class etc.
This is my DS not an abstract. Thanks

I always put forth the Scout association. Wonderful for life skills, adventure and making friends- all away from parents.

I think he's tried that, exoticfruits- and found the Only small village primary school in the country where the children were one third AEN and two thirds feral

The LEA seemed to have a policy where all the more challenging families and children were put into this school even though it was in my village. They were overspill from the local town where the school was full. This I think was because the village had very few children to fill the places. We have not been able to get a place in another school in the LEA.

Has HQ has the opportunity to show an interest in sport?

Have you tried Beavers?

Jabed- that's not how admissions work, sorry.

Primary school admissions are based on proximity, not on putting all the challenging children in one school.

You haven't said what he's reading at the moment?

Lots of year 1 children are already off reading scheme books. Have you found a school that you liked and made a big case for getting a place. Often it is easier further up the school than for reception- people move.

Seeker, I said that was how it appeared.

I dont know how it was done. I know its what happened. Perhaps the area is just stuffed full of feral and EBD children? The village school is the next nearest to the local town school which is, as I said is full and the DC's who didnt get places there were allocated the village school I think.

I dont know. I dont care. It remains that it happened and that is that.

DS is currently joining in the neighbourhood DC's here playing baseball.

At home he sometimes rides. DW is good with horses. We sometimes knock around tennis in the back yard and there are tennis courts not far away. DS though isnt out doorish. He is a fairweather sportsman at best.

So I guess he is a geek. So am I. So is my DW.

oK. Leaving the local school aside.

Have you considered Beavers? Local sports clubs? My ds has played football for our town since he was 5.

"DS though isnt out doorish"

He's 5. He shouldn't actually have a choice about whether he is out doorish or not!

He's 5. He shouldn't actually have a choice about whether he is out doorish or not!

With respect I am not sure what you think I should do. Push him out into the freezing snow to satisfy your desire for him to be outdoors?

All DS's are different surely? Not everyone in the world likes being out. He is fine in the garden on his swing. He is fine running around. He is fine riding at the local stables. He is fine playing baseball with the local crowd down on the fields.

He does not express interest in sports. I like cricket but after a passing pahse he wasnt that keen. He hates football (his word not mine). Not everyone is sporty. I will not force my DS to do what you or the rest of MN want. He is a person. Likes and dislikes develop early in my experience.

He is active, thats all that counts.

Goodnight.

Beavers?

Jabed - have you considered moving? You may be able to get a job at a school that would be more appropriate for your son?

I agree that it is underdesirable to move him a year ahead - I remember that happened to me and it was horrible.

Sorry- pressed too soon. You want him to make friends, but you seem to be rejecting one of the best ways to make freinds- and with respect, one of the best ways for a "geeky" boy (your words) to have a nice time socially.

Doesn't have to be football- there must be other local sports clubs.

I'm presuming that you're ignoring suggestions of the Scouting movement because you won't be able to guarantee only middle class companions?

jabed I think it's fine to see DC as individuals, taking into account their likes and dislikes rather than overiding them.

However, I do think, we parents, all of us, need to be careful not to pigeon hole our DC. Not to decide at so young an age that they are X or Y. Those of us with older DC will attest that they change so much.

All you can do is ensure that they have access to and are intrduced to lots and lots of different things.

Unfortuantely, our own prejudices come into play here. It is perfectly natural to focus on those aspects of life that we are good at and at whicvh we excel. And to avoide the stuff that is not of massive interest to us.

Good home educators, and I know many many of them, accept and fight these urges daily. In fact it's one of the reasons I didn't home educate; frankly I don't trust myself .

Beingbutterfly, I have considered moving, however, that does depend on being able to land a job. Doesnt seem to be on the cards in the foreseable future. I have also thought of moving house, but investigating other schools , it doesnt seem as if DS would benefit from that either. I guess thats the nature of the area here.

Fantastic post, wordfactory- should be printed out and pinned on everyone's fridge.

Doesn't have to be football- there must be other local sports clubs

You think? Maybe in Kent. Even the LEA sold off its sports fields here. There is a bowling green in the town. I believe its well attended by older folk. There is a cricket ground too. Both well secured when not in use. Thats about it really. I have to be truthful and say I am not sure what most kids around the village do for sport. I dont think they do. Older kids hand out and cause trouble in the park (drinks cans everywhere and often broken equippment).

I take DS to the park to play on the swings and roundabouts.

Scouts?

Good home educators, and I know many many of them, accept and fight these urges daily. In fact it's one of the reasons I didn't home educate; frankly I don't trust myself

Then we are not good home educators. As you say, some people excel in such things , others dont. Some schools are good, others arent. Thats life.

We will still HE for the next year. I think my DW is good at it amd educationally DS is progressing well. He is also happy mostly. Its my worries that sometimes he seems isolated. But then it is a good thing that to be able to get on with your own company and not be needy of others.

After that, I dont know. The Christian School perhaps. Didnt see a massive emphasis on sports there. I will have to go back and see.

Scouts?

DW has just arrived to tell me off. She has said we could send DS to Sunday School at the church. She may be right :)

I think if you want him to mix with other kids you are going to have to get your head around the fact that he will, at times, mix with people you find unsuitable. Whether at state or private school, or beavers or football or whatever.

I really disagree that you only need to be able to mix with your social group. Dh always talks about a colleague who is from a very (extremely) privileged social background but who has the gift of being able to get on with anyone - including those who are pretty much on the fringes of society. It's a rare skill, and not one to be sneered at.

Ds2 always described himself as an indoor boy. (which meant I did shove him outside quite a lot). At 7, having been previously dismissive he found he loved football. And while he only plays at school and for kickarounds - it has, as seeker says, been a really good way to bond with all sorts. My forcing him outside also seems to have paid off in that he now seems to enjoy hiking in wild country (used to moan constantly). He still hates the sea and swimming (so is having enforced swimming lessons).

I think it's natural to try our children out on activities we enjoy - that was why ds3 was forced encouraged to have riding lessons. He's stopped for the moment and is getting very into martial arts (not my thing at all).

There are loads of clubs and activities out there that your son can have a go at to see what he likes. But you do need to accept nearly every activity outside school will accept children from a wide social background.

But then it is a good thing that to be able to get on with your own company and not be needy of others.

Not at five, and not because you have no choice other than to do that. Able to sit quietly and read, draw, write a story, on occasion - great. Get on with your own company all the time because you don't have any other - doesn't seem very appealing or appropriate.

True original. My son most at ease in his own company (ds2) is also the most sociable of the three who loves being out doing things and meeting friends. One thing I have noticed about him is that he's very happy to go to an activity where he doesn't know anyone. (sports holiday club for year 3's-yr 7's at a local comp this summer, theatre groups at other times, he usually buddies up with someone).

I think that wordfactory has an excellent post. He really hasn't had much time to work out things for himself as an individual, he is too isolated and has too much adult company.
I had the same problem-I was a single mother or a bright only DS until he was 8yrs old. It is very difficult for the whole thing not to get too intense. You need to work at it. It strikes me that he is lacking in at least 3 things that make for a happy childhood-benign neglect, friends and mud!
Beavers would give him all 3!
I used to go on holiday with 2 other families when mine was that age. They would just amuse themselves in the outdoors, making dens, making a dam on streams etc, getting thoroughly dirty and all having a bath together at the end of the day-tired out.
When we were at home we got out as much as possible, blackberrying -riding bikes-walking. Swimming lessons were non negotiable. I hate football so played with him in a very begrudging manner but he joined the local club and got really good-everyone expressed surprise-they didn't think 'he was that sort of child'. Five or Six years old is far too young to make assumptions about what sort of child.