Gifted and talented.

[jabed]

Its three O clock in the morning. I have a stinking headache which is why I am up and I would like to get contentious. Do you mind?

With no holds barred, my DS is by any definition gifted and talented. I am a fairly able kind of guy myself and DW is extremely gifted, so no prizes for guessing where he gets it.

The thing is, I have been pondering what I am going to do with him. We currently HE. This is because he is young- He is a late August born and would, were he at school he going into year 2 now. Many a couple of weeks younger would just be going into year 1.
He is gifted as I said, which is another reason for not putting him in school. he has a generally high IQ and academic giftedness and if SW is right he has musical talent.

I don?t want him accelerated. I don?t want him messed with. I want him to be what neither DW nor I were - a child with a childhood. My experience of the local school, which would have been our first choice (and was in fact where we sent him) for his primary years do not deserve him. The teachers cannot deal with gifted children. He does not deserve his peers in that school - disruptive and largely ill socialised with a large percentage at the other end of the spectrum to DS. But there is no other local school.

There is my own school which has a prep but they want to put him a year up.

So, what do you do in that situation? I am at a loss. I have looked at options and got bogged down. We have to make a decision before year 3 as I seriously believe he needs to be in formal education at some point there.

Just a general throw out to see what others would do with such a DS. I reserve the right to get toss potty if people get rude about my DS or my feelings about being middle class etc.
This is my DS not an abstract. Thanks

Well, good luck.

Why are you so worried about the Christian school? I think it's quite useful for understanding aspects of history, art and English literature to have a good knowledge of the Bible... and I don't think most Christian schools are that in-your-face in this country, although I know nothing about the school of which you talk... Do you have reasons for suspecting it is rather hard core? And do they realise that you (apparently) don't believe and don't entirely approve?... How evangenical did the school appear to be when you went round???!!! And what do the inspection reports say about it?

If your boy was there for a little while in Reception, I think your observations about children not sitting nicely at tables are probably 1. A bit unfair and 2. Out of date by year 3.

I don't hang on your every word, but of course I remember posts which are offensive. Different.

Ok, if you don't think it necessary or desirable to mix with anyone but people the same as you... Why are you on MN?

I don't know why I caved and posted on here.

I would go for the Christian school. DS attends one and we are not religious - it serves the village and surrounding area catchment, whatever anyone's bent. It has a great pastoral ethos, one class per year and there is not much more RE teaching than there was in his previous primary. Park your concerns and let him have that access to friends on a daily basis.

You can choose to avoid mixing with wider society but you do not know what path your DS will choose. It might be music but that might include teaching on a programme like the one from Brazil(?) in 'rough' Glasgow. I had quite a leafy upbringing but a move into NHS management brought some interesting encounters...

ps I think your bad experiences at one SM school have coloured your opinions most unfairly. I think you have also been incredibly lucky to cloister yourself in a world where you only have to mix with a very narrow band of people of similar background and personality.

So you have said there was not one good egg in that class. Really? I don't think you looked hard enough.

I feel sorry for your son...

Colleger I'm not sure that is what he said. He said there were some unpleasant kids and the school didn't know how to help them improve behaviour. Having moved our DS, as a result of bullying that the HT just didn't want to address, I can say he had good friends but the misery inducing effect of the others more than cancelled that out. Our DS still meets with some friends from his first primary. The little sods have just found new victims.

Why are you so worried about the Christian school? I think it's quite useful for understanding aspects of history, art and English literature to have a good knowledge of the Bible..

I can appreciate that and I do not have any issues with it. I was brought up in more traditional times when state schools were very faith based. Morning assemblies and sermons from the HT and hymns.

It may well suit my DS. He is musical and religious music is a whole new domain for him to explore.

Do you have reasons for suspecting it is rather hard core?

They do claim to be part of the evangelical church movement. They did not appear hard core and didnt seem too worried about us not being a Church going family. They made it clear faith would be taught in school and was its basis. I do not have a problem. DW is more on side for this . In Canada there are a number of schools like this.

How evangenical did the school appear to be when you went round???!!

I had big banners and posters up with "Jesus sets you free to be all you were meant to be"

and "All things are possible, only believe". "Christ is the cornerstone of ......" I cant remember the rest of that. Very colourful and states in its prosepectus that it is a faith community and Bible based teaching.

And what do the inspection reports say about it?

First class. Grade 1 and outstanding in all departments. The only criticisms were about its small size and some lack of IT resources

Hm, perhaps I was just fortunate that my DS was as emotionally intelligent as he is academically intelligent, and whilst he heard lots of bad language and witnessed lots of inappropriate behaviour, he was intelligent enough, with our support, to realise that some language and behaviour is not acceptable. Again, for us, this was a really important lesson to learn at a young age.

Academically we could have pushed for acceleration etc, DS was and still is eager to lap up any learning that comes his way - if its not given to him he'll go out and seek it for himself. We have never had him assessed and never intend to, other than as part of the normal testing that goes on in state education (SAT, CAT etc.)

I don't think going to school is the be all and end all, I work with some fabulous EHE families. However, socialisation is important, and not just with like!

I think you want to send him to school, jabed. I think you're worried about him having no friends.

FWIW many people on MN seem to be obsessed with how academically ahead their children are. That's all very well, but it often makes the children sound like 'projects'. But school shouldn't be back-to-back slog - it's about having fun and laughing with your mates; running around the playground, playing with sand and chatting about Moshi Monsters!

Last year I had a class of Y2 children whose abilities ranged from about 1c to 3a in 'academic' subjects. However, I can guarantee that all of those 6 and 7 year old children, regardless of their academic prowess, remembered something special about the fun they'd had during the year - how they searched for evidence of mystical creatures using giant magnifying glasses; how they made up puppet shows; how they drew on the playground with chalk and water; how they made a special feast and shared with parents; .......etc, etc.

(Of course we know that they were learning how to co-operate and communicate, how to cook, how to represent stories in drama and art, to use their imaginations, to observe closely, to be co-ordinated, to compromise and to speak and listen to others.)

There are times when learning shouldn't be intense or pressurised, and this needs to balance with the times when more concentration and focus is necessary. I wonder whether HEd would give the same opportunity for enjoyment.

I agree with outraged.
The social side is much more important for an only child and having a childhood. Good pastoral care. I wouldn't want him put up a year at the moment ( possibly later)

issenodust

Quote from jabed:

This was understandable in a class where a third of more of the pupils were EBD statement and the other two thirds were just feral.

Doing the math, one third plus two thirds equal the whole. Except his little son of course...

Just feral. Yes. Or just four.

It depends where you live- I would go for a small village primary - like a family.

If you only want middle class and above, then you have to consider what your finances will stretch to.

Can't you home ed and then organise other social activities to account for his socialisation?

What about online schooling?

flexybex I hope you are my DD teacher. I think one of the keys to happiness as an adult is the ability to make friends and to make your own entertainment.

Small amounts of lol at this thread.

We emigrated to Canada, jabed. It's no different in school terms to the Uk (well, in this particular province at least). Have three kids who are gifted (one was also statemented in the UK - I'm delighted that this would mean she wasn't a suitable peer for your son), have always been in state as we can't afford private. We move a lot, so they have had different schools every year or so up until now anyway. Still pondering HE for ds1 (who is going into g6), and dd1 has chosen to go to the Catholic school for the next academic year - g8).

None of them get any real extension, but they didn't in the Uk either. They are just regular kids, despite their iq.

I am wondering if you are one of the many hordes of second homers in my particular corner of the world.

Hmmm. Is this evangelical wing of the C of E, or some other denomination? I do find serious evangelism quite offputting (and the hymns they sing are too happy clappy, so no great musical input there, then...).

Sweeping generalisation alert and I know it doesn't really addess the education question, but ...
usually the easiest way for a boy to get along with his peers is to be good at a sport. The biggest geek in the year will be 'forgiven' his nerdiness if he excels at football / rugby / cricket. It is also good for the child because sport teaches teamwork, perseverance, how to lose with grace, etc.

Does your DS belong to any sports clubs?

I am wondering if you are one of the many hordes of second homers in my particular corner of the world.

madwomanintheattic, I dont know about your corner but I am sorry we are second home owners.

I worked in Canada in the 1980's. I had a home and when I had to come back to England I didnt have the heart to get rid of the house. So I kept it and now we use it every holiday when we go over.

I know about Canadian schools and we would privately educate.

"It depends where you live- I would go for a small village primary - like a family."

I think he's tried that, exoticfruits- and found the Only small village primary school in the country where the children were one third AEN and two thirds feral.

Jabed, you say child is 5 and you think working at year 5 level. What is he reading and what's he doing for maths? If he really is at that level, it's unlikely that any school would be able to accommodate him academically- your only option might be to find oth ways for him to make friends. Beavers? Football club?

Is he doing any outside activities at the moment?

Does your DS belong to any sports clubs?

He hasn't shown any interest in sport. Even the Olympics seem to have passed him by. That is not the same as saying he is not active or healthy though.

I would visit all the schools in your area, on a normal working day. Have supply taught at quite a few some could certainly cope with him. Ask what they do for the gifted and talented. E.g one that I used to teach at sent a year 5 boy up to the secondary school for a Maths class once a week. A friend of mine runs courses for the gifted and talented in her county- a huge range of interests and a huge take up from schools.