Gifted and talented.

[jabed]

Its three O clock in the morning. I have a stinking headache which is why I am up and I would like to get contentious. Do you mind?

With no holds barred, my DS is by any definition gifted and talented. I am a fairly able kind of guy myself and DW is extremely gifted, so no prizes for guessing where he gets it.

The thing is, I have been pondering what I am going to do with him. We currently HE. This is because he is young- He is a late August born and would, were he at school he going into year 2 now. Many a couple of weeks younger would just be going into year 1.
He is gifted as I said, which is another reason for not putting him in school. he has a generally high IQ and academic giftedness and if SW is right he has musical talent.

I don?t want him accelerated. I don?t want him messed with. I want him to be what neither DW nor I were - a child with a childhood. My experience of the local school, which would have been our first choice (and was in fact where we sent him) for his primary years do not deserve him. The teachers cannot deal with gifted children. He does not deserve his peers in that school - disruptive and largely ill socialised with a large percentage at the other end of the spectrum to DS. But there is no other local school.

There is my own school which has a prep but they want to put him a year up.

So, what do you do in that situation? I am at a loss. I have looked at options and got bogged down. We have to make a decision before year 3 as I seriously believe he needs to be in formal education at some point there.

Just a general throw out to see what others would do with such a DS. I reserve the right to get toss potty if people get rude about my DS or my feelings about being middle class etc.
This is my DS not an abstract. Thanks

I have no issue with parents calling their children geeks. I often say my DC have considerable nerd potential, and they aren't gifted, just pretty able and a bit awkward. However, I do try to make sure they a) can function well in company (especially important for DD, who has real problems reading social situations), and b) have a range of experience sufficient for them to understand properly their own abilities. So where DS used to say "I'm rubbish at sport", now he will say "I'm rubbish at football", knowing that there are other sports in which he is at least competent, and some in which he is rather good. Gives him more confidence amid all that ball kicking in the playground.

It's interesting, what Xenia says about 28% of doctors being privately educated and this clearly proving the superiority of private education when it comes to making people who can deal with all types of people. One could equally point out that approximately 25% of doctors are arrogant twerps who only take you seriously if you act and talk like they do, and decide this clearly proves they were the privately educated ones... I, personally, wouldn't draw such puerile conclusions .

Most people who are educated with others from outside their social spectrum realise that behind it all, we are all more similar than we initially thought. Maybe that is what scares those who cling on to their tenuous identities.

Absolutely wordfactory thats what I realised when talking to these mums true geniuses cause their parents tremendous worries and must be impossible to live with.
The difference between you wordfactiry and jabed is that you come across as normal whereas jabed comes across as a self obsessed judgemental screaming snob. Generally normal people attract normal friends from all walks of life whereas self obsessed judgemental screaming snobs have a tendency to only attract those like themselves because other "normal" people run a mile when confronted with these type of people. We have one in our town (who I still suspect in mascarading as "Jabed") people cross the road and duck into shops when they see him coming!

Gosh, I can't keep up! Was away for 1hr and there are 50 or more posts to read! I have not read them all but xenia old girl, you are off on a tangent again talking drivel! I really like you but you do not seem to know when to stop!!
Private schooling may give you that bit of sophistication or extra confidence that we tend to see in American children and privately educated British children but it definitely does not automatically mean they are able to deal with all of society well. I work in an engineering industry. We see privately educated kids as well as kids who joined the firm as apprentices. In my experience the ones who are started life as apprentice or went to a comprehensive etc tend to IMO have a better manner and understanding of the labourers we employ. They are able to relate, empathise and therefore manage them better.
A commodity broker friend has similar experience when he is trying to deal with shipping agents etc.

You can't run an Empire if you genuinely empathise with others, though...

I am agreeing with people on this thread with whom I usually disagree all over the place. In fact I'm agreeing with all but two, and for the same reason, and I think happy has nailed the reason.

Silibilimili I suspect that your comments are as much as a generalisation as Xenia's plenty of. Children from independent schools are probably equally able to deal with all of society well.

TOSN it's nice we're agreeing for once! Im going to start worrying when I start with Xenia. jabed (if he actually exists) has at least achieved something so perhaps he should post more often.

Don't you think that the type of school is pretty irrelevant, and it is the general parenting and views at home that matter then?

If a child has a balanced upbringing, with emphasis on education, but also social skills, and sporting ability, then they are likely to do well career wise and also socially?

Oh and I've noticed even with the 5 hour time difference Jabed is definitely conspicuous by his absence today. Perhaps he's busy finding suitable children for his DS to play with.

Which province are you planning on settling in, jabed?

I assume you wouldn't be going the usual high school approach, but would be using a charter school or similar?

Education in this province is frighteningly rounded. Sport is practically a religion. Yep, the kids do band. The regular 'lessons' themselves are essentially death by worksheet, with little or no differentiation for individuals (despite a provincial claim that this happens). Teachers leave the building approximately 60 seconds after the bell signals the end of the day, and arrive ten minutes before (there is definitely not the same cultural expectation as in the uk that teachers work 9-5 or longer, lesson planning etc, there is really no need, everything is taught from a work book every year). Teaching is a very different kettle of fish, as is learning. We are considering he for ds1 (going into grade 6) as he is definitely not thriving in such a boring unchallenging and rigid environment. He needs a whack of out of the box extension to keep him interested. (this is despite psych reports saying that he needs extension work, and a gifted dx recognized by the school).

I know teachers from the uk who have really struggled with the ethos of education in Canada. The idea of leaving early and getting days off in lieu of parent's meeting is a lovely one, but the 'teaching' is a completely different ball game.

That said, the girls seem to be thriving. Dd1 was one of two kids from the school selected for a mentorship programme (in reality she isn't as gifted as ds1, but is a hard worker), but these opportunities have been cut back due to funding.

A lot of parents do see Canada as a superior alternative to the UK in terms of children's upbringing, though - Jabed is bog standard issue from a potential immigrant's pov on that one. Teens are on the whole more socially adept, capable of having conversations with adults (even strangers) and there is less of the whole swearing and rudeness in public. The same issues exist with drug culture etc, of course, it's just that the kids can smile and talk to you before they party hard.

Def not going to continue the same boring convo about the militaristic side of the scouts, but most of the girls here are defecting to scouts because it's a jamboree year and they all want to go...

On the summer camp side, the uni in the city (an hour or so away) runs science and math summer camps which are suitable for gifted kids. That said, you can never get on them because they are stuffed to the brim with kids with pushy parents.

Ohhhhhhh, it's just struck me. Jabed, are you planning on getting ds into a gifted school over here? If so, you'd better plan on moving to the city... Most have pretty tight catchment areas...

"Don't you think that the type of school is pretty irrelevant, and it is the general parenting and views at home that matter then?"
I think when it comes to social skills that is what I was trying to say there are people from all walks of life who are confident in all situations and others from all walks of life who are desperately shy. It would be awful if we were all the same.

7 hours here, happy. I' m catching up after a lengthy breakfast, as school starts next week.

He will be back, and will post 17 successive rebuttals, each one commencing with a c&p in bold and a 'I do not feel this is relevant' type response.

"Sport is practically a religion".

See, that's what my Canadian colleagues said.

It's something to think about I reckon.

It's kinda interesting to be soooooo set in your ways, though. I mean, we all are to a certain extent, but it's kinda funny to open yourself up to suggestions and then spend twenty pages explaining why you have no intention of doing anything different, as, in fact, you are completely right. And always have been.

Jabed, were you the dude that was about to embark on a campaign re the state of the (state) education system a while back? If so, it was a really interesting thread. Did you ever do anything about it?

Dd1 isn't sporty, but she dances competitively (it's v common for dancers to be straight 'a' studes, bizarrely - just the disciplined ethos, I think). Ds1 thinks he's sporty, but is pretty crap if I'm honest - he skates v well and is considering gymnastics. He's going back to dance this year and was in a climbing club last year. Dd1 wants to do everything, but in the Paralympics. None of them are anywhere near as full on as the Canadian kids - swim club training every night after school, hockey training in the mornings before school, ski race training for seven months of the year - parents essentially give up every weekend for competitions. And these aren't the jocks, these are just average kids. Most of them pulling honours at school. It's expected that you show that sort of discipline across the board.

That sounds like a very conformist society, madwomanintheattic.

"I am agreeing with people on this thread with whom I usually disagree all over the place. In fact I'm agreeing with all but two!"

TX2K cowers, concerned that she is being paired with jabed for what must be the first time ever

To clarify my comment above, when I described jabed's DS as 'not likely to be run of the mill, socially and academically', I absolutely did not mean that he was likely to be exceptionally bright. I just meant that he seemed likely to end up being 'different' in some way - whether by being advanced in some areas and behind in others, or through social isolation or simply by taking on too many of his dad's views on life! With that in mind, and since jabed doesn't seem minded to attempt to 'normalise' his DS's life, then tbh the options of continued HE or skipping a year seem such of a muchness.

Also don't find scouts - which both my DS and dd belong to - militaristic BUT I do know some people (whose views I respect) do find that aspect a problem, so I am open to the idea that some people might object to it on those grounds. These friends, equally, know that I run a mile whenever anyone mentions the Woodcraft folk ... it's horses for courses.

Not you, teacher, Xenia!

Three.

I think going back to discussing scouting when jabed has made it abundantly clear that he would much rather not, is a bit off.

Apologies. It's what happens when you come back to a thread after a day of doing other stuff.

I was thinking more about sohia's contribution to the debate...