Those of you in favour of grammar schools, come and tell me what to say to my Ds...

[seeker]

He woke up crying in the night because the reality had just hit him that he won't be going to school with his close friends in September because he failed the 11+ in September. "I can't be very bright, can I mum, or I would have passed" " no, it was just one of those things-you're going to a good school, you'll be fine" "I know- but if i was clever I'd be going to school with X and Y" "You are clever- look at your SATs-you'll be in the top set at the high school because of those" " it's not SATS that are important, though, it's the 11+"

Do you want to have more kids feeling like that? Then campaign for more grammar schools,

Well I certainly would credit my DCs' school for any success that they've had. There's no chance whatsoever that the same children with the same characters and the same parents would have achieved the same results or had the same education at either of the local comps.

Ok. What would be the disadvantage of combining the two schools in our town? The combined school would be less than 2000. Less if the schools combined on the larger site, using the smaller site for a 6th form college.

Who would be disadvantaged? And how?

Or, what would be the advantage in combining the two schools?

other people may favour grammar or Private S because they would prefer it if their child was in a single sex environment. the grammar schools in the counties near us tend to be single sex.

also in large comprehensives it can be difficult for the bright academic children who are labelled boffins because it is not cool to be clever in their peers' eyes. my experience of working in such a school.

one lad was bullied because he was good at acting. i was really pleased when the local grammar school took him in Y10 and the head said as such

Or, what would be the advantage in combining the two schools?"

An end to the process of selection at 10. An opportunity for "late bloomers" to move into the top sets. An opportunity for the "early bloomers" to move down without the hideous process of moving schools. A bigger social and economic mix at the school.

We are opting in to do the 11+ (not in county that does it but in out-of-county catchment).

I have read this thread with great interest. DS's teacher said he should do it and that she thought he would pass, but that even if he fails it is an important life lesson.

I find it difficult to get excited by the handwringing over grammar/secondary modern, especially when both schools are good.

There are many areas in the country where the catchment comprehensive is unacceptably poor, as well as those in the immediate neighbouring catchments.

I doubt that Seeker would trade her secondary modern for my comp, no matter how much she says she favours a comprehensive system.

It's easy to handwring when the second prize is pretty good (I am getting pictures of Dick Emery "you are awful but I like you" - which rather ages me, lol). It is different when the reality curdles your stomach.

What lesson would that be? That his teacher thought wrong?

"I have read this thread with great interest. DS's teacher said he should do it and that she thought he would pass, but that even if he fails it is an important life lesson."

An important life lesson? In what, exactly?

It is really good to try and fail at things. I think that's brilliant for chidlren. If you just win everything you learn nothing.

Children can easily cope with changing schools when they have to it is just soppy nonsense to use that as a no grammar reason. It is very important to learn how to cope with failure and move on in life and the younger children lean that the better to avoid all the entitled youth that seem to be around these days.

There you go, seeker, your son is the advantaged one and the kids who have passed have not received the benefit of this important life lesson.

Failure puts them in their place, and is a penalty for complacency, and outrageous parental expectations.

The lesson is that you should try things even if you can't do them, could fail them or there are people who can do them better than you.

Should you only do things you are good at?

Fully agree with Xenia 'If you just win everything you learn nothing'.

"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

"It is really good to try and fail at things. I think that's brilliant for chidlren. If you just win everything you learn nothing."

So do I. But not about the course of the next 8 years of your life when you are 10!

Seeker

Do you know why your HT appeal failed?

And do you regret not coaching?

Well all you and hsi father need to do is take on weekend or night or evening work to earn £5k each more and you can pay to send him to a similar private school to the grammar school or try to get him a scholarship at a private school. I think it might be within your hands to ensure he has a similar education to his sibling.

Wouldn't combining the two schools be very disruptive to the children that are currently there, and expensive for the parents that had to buy new uniform, and expensive for the school that had to do all that rebranding, and unfortunate for the teachers and support staff that would be likely to be made redundant in a move like this?

I wouldnt want my child to be taking exams in the year they decided to change everything, and I wouldnt want my child to e in the guinea pig year 7 either.

Do you feel that the children at the two schools are currently at a disadvantage that needs to be corrected? Or at a disadvantage that could be corrected by uprooting their school?

We are opting in to do the 11+ (not in county that does it but in out-of-county catchment).

And what's the fall back position if he fails the 11+? Is it a good in-county comprehensive were most children from his current school will go to, or some sink school on a deprived estate?

Greythorne- his scores were too low. And no I don't regret not tutoring. I don't think it would have made any difference. He scored highly on a couple of practice tests at home and the familiarisation test in exam conditions the day before. Whatever Happened to him on the day would probably have happened regardless of tutoring. If he had failed by a mark or two I might feel differently.

Xenia. Not all problems can be solved by throwing money at them.

really?more money and you'd be able go private
and not sweat it about him failing 11+
sound advice I'd say

They might live in an area without private schools or they may be against them morally although it is hard to see how the advantage of grammars can be supported (or good comps where houseprice in effect gets you in or religious schools) but not privates which are more honest a choice.

Or if it really means he will be at a sink school could you move? Surely his education is important enough to do that. People mvoe all the time.
Have you considered a state boarding school whcih I think cost only £5k a year. What about could he get a choral or music scholarship to a fee paying school?

Money would solve this little problem.

Being in a position to pay for education, whether it is against your personal principles or not, gives you choices.

You set out on this process with a choice of grammar or sm. Not doing as well as other boys on the 11+ means that the grammar option no longer exists. By bringing money into the equation, you now have another choice.

You have to put the best interests of your son above your personal pride. It might even mean selling your pony.

Selling the pony would raise about 400 quid. That would buy the uniform......!

My son will be fine at the school he is going to.as I have said about 500 times.