I send my child to private school because....?

[jabed]

Well, I don?t actually, I just work in one. But it seems to be a constant source of questioning on MN and given the current news articles (I have been reading the DM and Tory graph online) about how many of our left wing leaders hypocritically claim to be egalitarian and socialist whilst buying education for their children , or have had education paid for by their own parents. I just wondered, what is it we expect from education, and why is it some of us are willing to pay for whatever that is and how they see that as worthy of their money.

There you go. :)

Basically, if you say anything that infers that my child is lesser to yours, you will have a fight on your hands.

My DS has an IQ of around 200. Anyone who wants to write him off because he doesn't get some social rules is going to have me to answer to.

You can learn social rules. You can't learn to be clever.

Yes, surely you can judge for yourself if you're going to be outrageously offensive? Spit it out.

If you say anything about any sort of SN not playing a part in general society, or somehow now being quite as 'worthy' as your NT chidlren, then I will report

Well I wasn?t actually but your sensitivity suggests that anything I say could be reported - so discretion is the better part of valour I think and I will withdraw.

Of course it?s easy to control the expressed views of others by threats like that but you are never going to win hearts and minds that way. :)

Loopy, are you really having a go at me?

Because I want to stick up for my extremely intelligent but socially awkward child?

He's 4. I want to protect him with every fibre of my body.

I am so very tired of him being written off because he doesn't get the social rules other kids do.

Please do let me know how to deal with that one. You obviously know better than me.

Isn't it so amazing....??????????

As soon as ANY of you get some one who actually faces you... you withdraw.

Cowards. The lot of you.

Cowards. The lot of you

Absolutely. You are not one to have a debate with my friend.

I send my kids to private school because I like them to be in a diverse and vibrant environment with children from different cultures and nationalities. The local pushy parent state school is pretty much 100% white pushy middle class types.

er, nope, not me. There are 483 messages on this thread, no only yours. Your 4 year old hadn't even registered on my radar I'm afraid.

Ah, worry, I was referring to the same person as you - if they are afraid they will say something too offensive they should figure it out for themselves and not say it if need be. Last person on last page, to whom your responded also.

the OP.

Loopy - I would not expect that anything I would say would offend. However, some posters are extremely over sensitive to say the least and no matter what I say, I suspect they would find offence. Similarly some posters would attempt to harrass others I think (not me fortunately). Hope that explains.

I suspect though this will now be the end of this thread. Its well and truly been killed, although some of the issues raised are interesting.

We have a few interesting issues here:

Disruption in class: Most parents do not want a disruptive children of any kind in a class with their child. It's a crucial issue. I would have hoped that state schools also ensure classrooms are not disrupted by children like that. I don't care if the child is plain naughty as many are although the parents rarely like to think their perfect little Johnny is just a naughty boy or very bright but with such ADD or whatever they stop the others learning or whatever the reason is, I don't want my children in a classroom where they cannot learn.

The biggest thing the brightest chidlren ask for as teenagers in state comps which have problems (not all comps) is a classroom environment where they can concentrate. I want children removed from the class.

I don't care if it is a disability or just naughtiness or the child has a horrible home life which makes it awful at school it should not stop others learning.

Class: I don't think the leading academic day schools my children have gone too are posh. They are very mixed and nicely so in terms of class, religion, race and even parental means and the common factor is they have parents who can wrestle together £10k - £12k a year in fees by hook or by crook and the children are very clever. However I certainly want mym children to get the jobs you get in the UK if you have the right accent and learn a certain class culture and it would be a pity if they ended up at a school where they did not learn what you need to learn to get the jobs within that culture. Class holds women in careers where you make a lot back much much more than their sex. The state schools could do a huge lot more to eradicate class issues - they could ensure every teacher only spoke with received pronunciation and ensured the pupils spoke that way too.

I see. Best to leave it if you're not sure.

I'm a bit concerned that I've upset someone though. Have I? How?

(whispers) Such a shame the parents can't write terribly well

"I send my kids to private school because I like them to be in a diverse and vibrant environment with children from different cultures and nationalities. The local pushy parent state school is pretty much 100% white pushy middle class types."

We have the opposite situation around here. The private school is very much the type you describe for the state school and the state schools here are all very diverse. That's why I send mine there.

I don't care if teachers come from Oxbridge or not, as long as the teach and support pupils properly.

Xenia - couldnt have put it better myself. I agree with all you say there (last post of yours above) :)

@worrywort I am happy to stick together I'm not happy for my DCs - who all have SNs but who are all individuals - to be defined by their SN status alone. I wouldn't be happy if someone started talking about the group of e.g. freckly kids or curly kids and to be honest, their freckle and curly status is more obvious on first glance (unless the glance you take coincides with DD1 or DD3 walking into a door frame) than their SN status. They are kids with SN conditions, not SN kids. I certainly got the feeling that some on this thread wanted to make a broad brush generalisation - kids with SN disrupt lessons or at the least have a detrimental affect on their classmates. And this is ver often - perhaps even the majority of times - incorrect.

Sheesh. MOST people cannot afford to privately educate their DCs.

It's not a choice.

@Xenia : Class holds women in careers where you make a lot back much much more than their sex.

I'm not sure I agree with this. Certainly not so far as my profession (which is still very male dominated) goes. I would say that class is a definite factor in male progression, but not in female - it really is down to initially educational attainment and subsequently job performance. Thinking of the top end female lawyers I know - I'd say it's about 50:50 however I don't know what current entry to the legal profession looks like, so the balance may be shifting.

There are a lot of issues which do have possibly more of an impact on a woman's success in getting her foot through the door and then progressing than they do on a man, and I would generally expect them to be more than adequately addressed in most private schools (RP definitely isn't one of them, but the ability to speak articulately, to question, to discuss, to argue a point, to explain a thought process etc, whether in a Yorkshire accent or a welsh one, definitely are) - but they are also IME adequately addressed in good state schools, of which there are many (though not, sadly, enough).

they could ensure every teacher only spoke with received pronunciation and ensured the pupils spoke that way too.

Really? So no Scottish, welsh, Irish accents? How much of the curriculum time would you devote to eliminating regional accents?

Quite apart from all the other nonsense, the connection between accents and schools is a complete red herring amongst anyone who goes on to university (as presumably all who qualify for jobs that Xenia et al would consider worthwhile will do). IME, accents of all shapes and sizes arrive at Uni - and a vanilla, 'not from anywhere in particular' accent emerges at the other end. It's not RP (Thank God - anyone who speaks RP in the real world is very unlikely to be taken seriously) but it is a non-region-specific accent combined with a wide vocabulary (and a confidence in using it). The exception appears to be some (fairly soft) Scottish accents, which are (IME) very widely heard amongst senior, well paid professionals.

As usual, the deletions have served no function at all. And if mumsnet really have been sending emails to warn posters not to post what they actually think then debate is stifled even more.

pah. Are we so fragile that a few distasteful views give us fits of the vapours? There are people in the world that think like this- and worse. Let's shine light on them and let them condemn themselves- not srive them back into thri horrid little holes.

I agree seeker. I am as to why MN deletes posts like those. They may be odious points of view to most of us, but they are not personal attacks, and you can't filter the real world to not contain such people unfortunately. As someone (approximately) quoted earlier "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." (Voltaire, except that he didn't say it, apparently)

I don't think the post should have been deleted. Better to see those views aired and then refuted by many other people, surely.

MN has long had a policy of not letting raciost posts stand - even though to do so involves an element of censorship - and it appears now to have extended the same approach to posts demonstrating bigotry towards people with disabilities. This site is so heavily frequented by parents of children with SN (myself included) that I think this is the right policy. I didn's see the posts deleted, I can imagine what they were like and frankly there's enough of that in daily life, I don't it here. MN is keener on retaining parents like me rather than parents like those deleted here and I'm personally very pleased about that.