I send my child to private school because....?

[jabed]

Well, I don?t actually, I just work in one. But it seems to be a constant source of questioning on MN and given the current news articles (I have been reading the DM and Tory graph online) about how many of our left wing leaders hypocritically claim to be egalitarian and socialist whilst buying education for their children , or have had education paid for by their own parents. I just wondered, what is it we expect from education, and why is it some of us are willing to pay for whatever that is and how they see that as worthy of their money.

There you go. :)

Xenia - just being outrageously nosey, but you talk a lot about the academically selective private schools your children went to. I was wondering, out of the pick of non-selective private schools available to you, which you would have chosen if one of your children had not been bright enough to get in? And what if they had been really quite gifted in some aspects of their intelligence, but were not an all-rounder/had a specific difficulty the school was not willing to cater for and were rejected for that reason? Were you living close enough to schools which would adequately cater for all types of children? And if you were not, what would you have done about it?

(1st question means, obviously, if one of your children had not been bright enough to get into one of the selective schools on your list of good private schools to which you sent your other children).

Good-I am very happy too.

Another perspective of all of this is surely by sending children to private education it is widening the gap between that and state education?? Which means there is going to be even more difficulty for those who are very bright in state schools missing out on lots of opportunities through no fault of their own. Not all parents come from a privileged background.

It would also be fair to say that not all children who are sent to private schools are 'up there' with the elite in terms of intelligence levels, some must be about average surely??? You cannot select this when you have a child, you just have to hope for the best whether or not they are state or privately educated.

That's right, if you're poor you will obviously turn out to be fat and not happy. Such sweeping generalisations (bit of a recurring theme).

I am sure there are certain posters who are poor in comparison to Bill Gates and Richard Branson......

I send my children to state school....

....because I wanted to. Because I believed (and still believe) that it was the best decision for my whole family.

I am happy if other people made other decisions.

Lovechoc. Am I being naive here, but if you have a g&t/ academic dc can they not gain scholarships and bursaries etc.
I don't like the gap neither and am not from privilaged background, but also believe its about what is right for your dc and also that if people want to pay for education its their right.

morethanpotatoprints - I think you mean, some private schools can attract the best. Your example about state sector talent not always being nurtured relates more to the boy's parents than his school, doesn't it? Or do you mean, his talent is being sufficiently nurtured by the school? Or that there wouldn't be a choir for him to sing in in the first place at the local state school?

Where we live, the state schools are very good (but obviously not considered the sort of outstanding schools which parents flock to until the catchment for them is so tiny you have to live in the school grounds, as local people tend to be happy for their children to attend the school closest to them and tend to assume there will be space for them without having to move house...) and the local schools offer all the academic subjects you would expect from a private school (as well as some subjects you wouldn't expect most private schools to offer). With the exception of vastly expensive and prestigious mixed boarding and day schools and their equally expensive feeder prep boarding/day schools, the local private schools do not seem to offer significantly more in terms of academic achievement and we live in an area where sport and music and drama are extremely well catered for by amazing facilities and opportunities outside the school environment (and pretty good facilities within the schools in question). It is therefore not that obvious a choice in my opinion as to whether private school is worth the money, unless you are willing and able to fork out well over £20,000 a year per child to access the boarding schools for your children to attend as day pupils, in which case I think you would be getting an overall package the state can never match (as you would expect at that price...). Or, I guess, unless you are willing to move right away from a beautiful part of the world in order to get closer to academically selective state schools or more affordable academically selective private schools. I'm not sure taking either of those options would really increase the chances of my children becoming High Court judges... The quality of teaching certainly does not really seem to be higher in the local private schools, outside of the £20-30,000 a year ones, although you probably get a bigger proportion of parents fully on board and in agreement with their child's school's aims at the private schools. Actually, the local schools all seem to get on together quite well, including the state and private schools, so there is even a certain amount of healthy competition between students from all the local schools.

Rabbitstew.

In the case of the boy I mean his talent will never be nurtured as he already attends the only choir available to him, his parents can't see the need to nurture the talent he has, his school can only point him towards the LEA who provide the choir in the first place.

Most people in our area use the local state schools and there are a wide range as you would expect. There are no really outstanding ones for academic results but some like me went for the one with excellent pastoral care. Those who wish to go private have to go to another town or 20 miles to one of 2 cities. We live in a large town in the NW. The nearest Grammar school is about 20 miles away.
I noticed after posting it seemed like I was talking generally about teachers being better in Private, it wasn't my intention. I only know about the music teachers we know, but it is pretty conclusive as I have heard this from the teachers themselves.

The parents of the boy may have struggled to accept their son being in a choir because of their views of gender roles, and they may not understand that singing is a talent worth nurturing - a bit like Billy Elliott's parents.

There are still a lot of prejudices out there!

Flexybex.

I know what you mean but I don't think so as the boy is well settled and has no issues. Its open to any child who attends a local school in the borough but only has about 30 kids in junior and about the same at senior.
its a bit of a musical dessert around here. The town is known for its sport.
DD is only musically aware because of the culture at home. I find it really sad. There are a few kids doing music but a very small percentage for the size of town

I send my DC's private because
the local schools are full of chavs and I dont want my DC mixing with chavs.
I wanted longer holidays for my DC
I wanted a nice school with plenty of room and grounds.
I wanted somewhere safe.
I wanted small classes
I wanted good discipline

"I send my DC's private because
the local schools are full of chavs and I dont want my DC mixing with chavs.
I wanted longer holidays for my DC
I wanted a nice school with plenty of room and grounds.
I wanted somewhere safe.
I wanted small classes
I wanted good discipline"

Wow. Just wow!

Did I mention I dont want chavvy teachers confusing my DC either?

Now take a sharp breath.

Sohia,

I hope you never have any issues / SN with your child. Because you just might find that those 'chavvy schools' are the only ones that can / will help your child.

Be aware of that.

I thought sohia was attempting humour

I hope it always stays fine for you.

Your kids don't have SN now. They could contract an illness. They could get hit by a bus. They could just develop that way.

Actually, would you mind telling me what school you are intending to send your children to, I'd very much like to avoid you. I'd prefer to send my children to a 'chavvy' school rather than mix with children who are brought up by someone with your opinions.

I have chosen private prep, but for VERY different reasons than you (And don't think you'll avoid SN kids there either. Money talks )

Good grief!

I seriously hope you are not serious in what you say sohia. If not, I really, really hope no misfortune ever befalls your family or else you are going to have one hell of a wake up call.

I am guessing though that you are writing this just to be incendiary, which is neither big nor clever.

@sohia The views you have expressed are disgusting.

Sophia, your views seem to ignorant and narrow minded. Westminster Under School, one of the best private preps in the UK has a very significant number of students on the autistic spectrum. They pride themselves first and foremost on the pastoral care they give these boys, and welcome them. If your DS was bright enough to get in there, he would be literally surrounded by SN children!

Come on, just about all middle class parents whether using comps or otherwise would not be against most of the list:

"the local schools are full of chavs and I dont want my DC mixing with chavs.
I wanted longer holidays for my DC
I wanted a nice school with plenty of room and grounds.
I wanted somewhere safe.
I wanted small classes
I wanted good discipline"

The special needs provision can be better in some private schools than the state system. Many a mumsnetter has moved a child to a private school which specialises in dyslexia etc.

I wanted an academic selective education for my children from age 4 or 5. That was worked very well for us. If the class were full of children with an IQ of 100 never mind 80 my children would suffer. Plenty of mumsnetters choose grammar schools. They don't let low IQ chidlren in either. I don't see what the fuss is about. I don't have any problem with my children having friends with no legs or whatever but in terms of intellectual challenge I want them in a classroom with other bright children.

Someone asked me above what I would do if my daughter say could not get into Habs etc They all sat for several schools. Every area has a pecking order in academic terms and I am sure if they went to one for the rather thick in the private sector they could also do well .

I don't agree with someone above who seems to assume bright chidlren are just born not made. I thinkit's 50.50. Look at some tiger mother threads on mumsnet. Parental input can lead to children doing pretty well although of course you cannot make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.