How much do you sacrifice to send Dc to private school?

[VeryTiredMummyOf2]

I have 2 Dc, just want to know what people give up? And is it worth it?

Xenia you are very lucky that the fees for your local schools are so low.

Higher fees does not mean rubbish schools. It mostly means that the average is higher than in your local area. The local day school near me is £22,950 per annum and is consistently in the FT top 5 and usually in the top 2. I would have thought that made it a good school and probably a better than the school you've linked which doesn't seem to be in the top 20 this year, albeit at twice the price.

Are you happy though Rosemary? I read in a previous post of yours [I had a different name] that you have home made wine. Hope it's nice! [busmile].

Sparkling I am guessing that Xenia thinks that if you pay anymore than £12k per year you are doing it for snob value when there are perfectly good schools available at £12k. I've pointed out that, at least where we live, the fees are significantly higher than the ones she has quoting but the schools are very far from rubbish. I'm rather by her comments as she is usually better informed.

Far far too many women lose their chance of a good career on tha altar of love. We need to warn all daughtesr off from such foolish paths. What was to stop the country bumpkin sacrificing his all for the woman leaving her to earn £1m a year as an equity partner at Ernst & YOung? Sexism? Conditiongin that suggests women don't earn, women give things up for men? Men decide. Women shouldn't work when they have children? Why did you sacrifice to him?

Of coruse if you're happy with that that's fine too. I don't think h appiness has much to do with income and my health and general happiness is the best thing about my life but if you can have that plus earn a lot as a woman (not live off male earnings, but earn a lot yourself) it can make life easier.

So if we can go back and analyse why decisions were made in one's 20s which is when many women shoot their career prospects to pieces for life whilst men end up with 80% of positions of wealth and power in the UK then we can ensure our daughters don't make the same mistakes and can afford a piddling £25k a year for two sets of school fees.

Oh, right Hiss. Thanks.

And all the children whose Mum's work in Tesco or are housewives aren't very bright. What cobblers as my Dad would say.

My DD's school regularly outperforms all indies in the league tables and it's free.

I know plenty of people who don't do high powered jobs who are far cleverer than me (in my very high powered job). Apparently it is something to do with their choice

bythesea...I am truly amazed given all those children with low IQ's that go there [buhmm]

I only have sons so I don't need to worry.

I have always worked in social care/ not for profit organisations etc. Always 'front line' work. A foolish choice money wise! SAHM at moment- yet more foolishness....

Sparkling you need to worry if they are thick. If they are you should be getting them into the right school so they can mix with posh girls and marry well!

I've been reading Xenia's post for a long time, and the shallowness of regarding life as just about material success is not something I would want to pass on to my DC. DD1-12 is currently planning on being a human right's activist - and I would be incredibly proud of that even if she doesn't turn out to be a high-earner.

[bugrin] at hissboo! all those smart, career savvy gals won't fall for that!!

Oh yes, you are right Hiss.

Oh no it's ok. I just remembered. They aren't thick.

I have never missed having money for myself.

However it is terrible to see your own children going without.

I have had brilliant times with my children which I would not change for any full-time job and I am now a stanch advocate of mums stying at home with pre-school age children.

However I did marry the wrong fella, have too many children, and wander haplessly into dire financial arrangements.

Still, the pea-pod wines' tip top this year, the nettle dye has transformed the kiddies school uniform and wyld garlic is already out in our hedge-rows, I'm scrumpy seed potatoes for use in the community garden, and have high hopes that our rescued battery hens might one day lay us an egg -

Oh and one glorious glorious day I will be back in the work-force - even if I have to push my battered van all the way there (the attempts at home-made cooking-oil fuel are a bit unpredictable!).

me too bythesea, and i have been equally unimpressed by the lack of understanding regarding IQ.

I don't know why Xenia evokes such strong responses

her post 17.01 is bang on the money
''What was to stop the country bumpkin sacrificing his all for the woman leaving her to earn £1m a year as an equity partner at Ernst & YOung? Sexism? Conditiongin that suggests women don't earn, women give things up for men? Men decide. Women shouldn't work when they have children? Why did you sacrifice to him?''

Xenia, who would you like to teach your children in these schools you mention? And how much would you like to pay in fees in order to give them the salaries which their qualifications could have earned them elsewhere?

(My current teaching salary = my starting salary in a 'management training scheme' in a large industrial company almost 20 years ago. I choose to use my qualifications - better than yours, I suspect - in teaching, which is something which you and other parents benefit from. And please don't claim that teaching children so they achieve to their maximum ability, whatever their starting point, is something that can be done by the 'not very bright' and the 'unqualified', as I know that you would have been the first to complain had this been so)

If it's a she. Get your boys into human rights activism but far too many girls want to be on television or to act or do make up or activism and end up being unable to earn enough to live on. By the way I have never directed a child's career and it is up to mine what they do but we can guide them, tell them XYZ job means you'l be on mumsnet whingeing about being unable to afford a holiday except camping weith 3 teenagers wanting shoes their friends can afford and you all squashed into a tiny house and that may seem irrelevant when you're 20 and full of zeal but it matters quite a bit when you've children to keep.

As the 7% at private schools have most positions of power and wealth in the UK the best thing a woman can do is pick a career which means she can afford good private school fees.

Yes, I agree that there are some expensive academic schools too. Norther London C where one of mine goes is I think often 1st in the country or top 5 anyway for all schools and that is £12k but you might equally choose Eton or Westminster and they charge more.

Nor have I said people cannot choose what careers they like nor that money buys happiness but I want women to make informed choices and I am not sure they all do nor do their schools. he might say - very good dear you'd make a good nurse, rather than gosh you'd make a wonderful leading surgeon get on with it.

I was a housewife for ten years, by choice and got into Mensa. I now work part time in a job, not a career and have been happily married for 25 years and have two very successful state educated children.

If every one telss their daughters to be a doctor or a lawyer or some other £100K plus job with , who would serve you in Tesco, or even Waitrose....., clean your house.....

Xenia it would be great if there were a level playing field for men and women but we are generations away from that happening.

I work in a completely male dominated field and do not have the same access despite being better qualified than many of my male counterparts. Senior management promote those in their image and it is rare they would recognise that as female.

I know a very good doctor who gave up training as a surgeon because of the huge amount of sexism in her chosen specialty.

Xenia speaks sense
Best way to afford private school fees etc is to earn more ie two incomes rather than to scrimp and save on one income
And we need to be setting examples to our daughters about where power lies, in financial independence.

It is quite possible to have financial independence and not want your children to be educated privately.

Nothing wrong with the second person taking work to pay for fees. But the vost is hcost is higher than the £25k fees.

What about all the long holidays? You have to cover that too.

It sounds as if private schooling is the be all and end all then.