what (unreasonable) questions shall I ask at parents evening

[TheIIlusiveShadow]

DD is in foundation year:

Any idea what sort of A-level grades we could be looking at?

When I taught Reception I was asked in all seriousness whether a particular 4 year old would be likely to pass the 11+
I declined to comment!

DS aged 8 - doing well (so far)
Teacher: what would YOU like DS to be when he grows up?
Me: Happy!
Teacher speechless.
He's 8!

Not specifically parents evening but I was asked once to provide a terms work in advance for a child who was going on an extended visit to Pakistan. Err no! Come to think of it, it may have been the same family who insisted their daughter could do long division in reception.
Talk to her, I said, discuss numbers of things you see, look for patterns blah, blah blah.
I did give them all of the phonics worksheets we would have done and an exercise book in which to draw pictures and 'write' a diary of the trip but surprise surprise when she returned she had done nothing.

My last PE the teacher started off by saying how hard DS works and how much effort he's putting into school.

She was a little when I replied, it's OK I know he's totally disorganised and easily distracted. I also know he's not great at literacy but as long as he's trying his best and behaving himself there's not a lot more I can ask of him.

She then tentatively 'checked' that I worked in a school (I do!). I think she may have thought I was going to be asking her what his levels were, and giving her the third degree.

Best thing was that she described my DS to a tee after only teaching him for 6 weeks. He was in Infants for 3 years and they refused to try never really got him.

I did ask her how he didn't drive her nuts with his randomness.

NickettyNacketty we used to get that a lot, and in the end made it school policy not to give work for children who were out of school. One exception was a German family who had to return to Germany for three months to clear a relative's estate. When they came back every single thing I had set had been done,plus a few extras of their own.

When the bell went at 7.30 once, as we arrived in the room because dd's teacher kept us in the infants and dd then fell, and the teacher said "that's it, I've been here since 7.30 this morning and I'm not seeing anyone else" - my DH asked "do you really find that stressful, it's less than I do every single day with only two to three weeks' holiday".

The following day I had to tell the head we were transferring to the independent sector from the start of the next academic year! She snarled something like "it's parents like you who affect my results - your ds would have have been one of my level 6's". Methinks a little reflection about why we removed him would have been in order.

Some parents can be thoroughly obnoxious - but so too can some teachers.

I am surprised that a school still has a place for a child who goes overseas for an extended period.

This was a long time ago, well at least the early 1990's.

Overheard this conversation at ds2 parents evening last year (yr 2)

Mum- so I understand there is a gifted and talented register, is x already on it?
Teacher- well it's very rare for a yr 2 student to be identified as g&t so young...
Mum- but will he be on it?
Teacher- its a bit early to tell
Mum- but I've read about it online and he definitely fits the criteria, I don't understand why some kids are on it and not x
Is it the school, do you not want him on it? Are the other children jealous, is that why you won't do it?

This was honestly a genuine conversation

DD is very pretty so is there room on the gifted & talented register?

I've not even heard of the gifted and talented register at our school.

Mother turns up to parents' evening with daughter wearing a ginger curly wig and hobnail boots and says "Go on Mollie, show teacher how talented you are at singing "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow." from Annie so you can go on the Gifted and Talented Register."