what (unreasonable) questions shall I ask at parents evening

[TheIIlusiveShadow]

DD is in foundation year:

Any idea what sort of A-level grades we could be looking at?

breatheslowly Absolutely, I passed mine first time but there were plenty who didn't...

I think starting the meeting with a - "You don't mind if I just record this" as you take a doctaphone out of your bag will help to build the relationship between you.

why parents evenings are always at least 30 minutes behind schedule, and whether parents are expected to manage their time keeping beter.
or why they insist on several hundred children wearing identical outfits and then begrudge the time they have to spend dealing with lost/swapped /found sweatshirts

Ask what they think of Mr Gove's position to make it illegal to take children out of school in term times...

Last parents evening I was told my son was sometimes "a little childish" I said that was possibly because he was 6 and therefore a child!! I worked with the teacher the previous year as a TA and knew what she was like!!! :)

Please make sure my child is in the top group for everything, regardless of ability, she needs to be challenged you see. (People do say that at my child's school, without the regardless of ability part.)

Oooh, ooh, would you like to borrow my version of 'The cat in the hat' in Latin and ask the teacher to assess what ORT reading level it would be because your DC are desperate to get onto it.

Bobyan

Oh Bobyan

I got as far as Bobyan and didn't manage to read any further! There should be a FOMCL abbreviation (Fell Off My Chair Laughing)
LOVE IT - must add that to my list!

Ask the teacher how they spend all their lovely holidays. Should go down well.

The best PA parent's comment I have had is: PFB got on so well with Miss X last year. She really understood her.

Just be careful what you post here peeps, there are quite a few working mums here that are teachers and it is far from an easy, short day! 7:30 start, 6pm end with 20 mins break if I am lucky. Get home, cook kids' dinner, get them to bed, tidy and then work on school work until around 10 by which time I am shattered. Please don't think we have an easy job, it is one of the hardest I know.

Oh and as far as holidays go, if I got paid time in lieu I would earn more than what I get in holidays! The February half term has just been spent assessing, assessing, marking, assessing and May half term will be spent on approx 70 hours of report writing time.
Rant over!

There are quite a few teachers posting on this thread lbmum. The OP is laughing with us not at us.

It was tongue in cheek.

Lighten up

ibmum, I honestly think that this thread is tongue in cheek? And it is more a list of the ridiculous questions that PARENTS come up with rather than a criticism of teachers. No one is denying how hard teachers work.

bean

these are really funny

Thread is intended to be completely tongue in cheek. As I mentioned I really like DD's teacher, I can see she puts in a lot of hard work.

I've enjoyed the totally unreasonable, crossing the bounds of common decency questions that an unreasonable parent might or shockingly has asked.

we have a parent's evening next week, getting lots of inspiration from here

Ask what opportunities there are for your child to play / learn through play during the school day.

That will really flummox them, as both parents and teachers all seem obsessed with stuff like phonics these days.

< feels am part of a rare and dying breed of parents and early years practitioners/ teachers who still believes children learn through play >

What about saying that you were very unhappy about the way she dealt with a playground incident involving your DC. When she asks what incident you are talking about launch into a very very detailed retelling of an extremely minor incident all the while implying that your DD was victimised by the teacher's handling of it and that your DD herself was traumatised. If the teacher says she doesn't remember the incident in question prepare to be outraged at the fact that she can't even REMEMBER an incident that left your DD allegedly crying every day for weeks afterwards.

Ooh - is it parents' evening season? Ours isn't for ages - so I shall look forward to the teachers on this thread coming back with their new favourites so that I can try them on DD's teacher (who will see straight through them and go because she knows me too well, but never mind eh)

Or turn up with a long list of lost property and demand to know where all these items are. Remember to imply that the fact they were lost in the first place is totally the teacher's fault.

Also, it worth mentioning that how your DD shines at Stagecoach and while the little girl who played Mary this year did very well, in spite of her obvious lack of acting ability confidence, you feel you should mention that DD's acting coach believes she shows exceptional potential, and really shines onstage.

Juggling but if the child is in foundation, there'll be loads of opportunities for learning through play. Learning through play underpins the EYFS.

Or do you mean they'll appreciate it because so many parents are still obsessed with academic progress, even in reception?

Seriously, I have asked at an open day if they taught Creationism, as I had heard a rumour they did, and found out that THEY DID, and not only that but they taught the Divine in every subject....
Ooops, well DCs won't be going to your school then.

Ask the teacher if she has a system of targeting all the children with her caustic sarcasm and humiliation tactics, or is it only the children who catch her eye / answer all the questions / never answer the questions, that 'get it' in the neck.