Help please - private pre-prep took me completely by surprise today

[Lifeislikeaboxofchocolates]

My DS (later half of the year birthday) has been at a private pre-prep nursery since September. I went in to discuss another issue and the nursery teacher told me that they think that he is not going to be ready to go into reception and that we should think about deferring for a year.

My concern about this is the knock on consequences for him as he goes through the education system as he is also extremely bright (eg they are learning 1 to 9 at the moment in nursery - my DS knew these numbers a long time ago - would it really be the best thing to learn them again this time next year? I completely appreciate that they need him to be at a certain level socially for reception and it is fair to say that he is behind on the social skills side more than some of the other boys - but I am not sure that keeping him back is the answer. A bit of a ramble - I am just shocked by this - can I have your thoughts?

But Highlander, did you see my post above? It's not that were obsessed with pushing young children into formal education or want to move our children onwards and upwards at a young age as cottonmouth suggested, it's that we're stuck between a rock and a hard place with very little choice. My Ds is August born, I don't think he was ready for school and would much rather he had been allowed to start this September rather than last, which of course he could have, unfortunately he would not then have beed allowed to start in reception but would have been put straight in at the deep end in year one. Personally I felt this would have been even harder on him. Reception, at my dc's school anyway, is really just an extended version of playgroup. It does however get them used to the school environment and rules for when they are expected to do more in year one. I think going straight from playgroup into year one would be a real shock.

What I personally would like to see is a change in the system to give the parents of summer born children the choice of whether to start their child in the year they turn 4, or wait until the year they turn 5, but allow them to start and continue with the year below in reception.

Totally agree AWimbaway and Highlander - I think there should be a choice to keep children back a year when entering school, if they are not ready for it. And then progress through school with that class (not be shoved in at Year One). That's the huge advantage of the private sector - it seems unfair that the large majority of children in the state sector don't get the same option.

redridingwolf - not strictly true about private. Yes, some pre-preps and even preps will allow DCs to be kept back a year, but when it comes to choosing senior schools hardly any will allow a DC to stay back a year. So the DC really will have to go into the correct year eventually, which would then mean skipping a year. It would be very hard for a DC to catch up on a year later on in their education.

That's interesting about the move to senior school in England. In Scotland deferment isn't unusual (although P1 is more formal than reception)

There are downsides though - in DD's class there were deferred boys turning 6 ( nov/dec birthdays) before non deferred boys turned 5 ( feb/march)!

And it makes for a huge mismatch of ages at preschool - five year olds and three year olds in playground together can lead to problems.

Carrots - that does surprise me, but I am so far off that stage yet (small children) that perhaps I wouldn't know. Certainly wasn't the case in my schooldays, so things must have changed. It would def. make a difference to any decision now, so thanks.

Agree that most of the preps I put my son forward for had a two stage intake - either reception or year 1. It was only the really small ones that didn't

I just thought I would update you all. We had a meeting with the nursery teacher - she said there had been a considerable difference in DC since dropping afternoons (exhausted perhaps?) She also said that given where he was academically she would be very loath to keep him back (change in view from a few weeks ago??) She is going to do more small group activities with him.

Thanks all for your thoughts!

very glad you're getting more constructive feedback from nursery - sounds good!

Teaching in Year 5 pretty terrible, so avoid if you can.

I wouldn’t do it. We’ve just done the whole 13+ applications etc, and it clearly states on most of the forms that the child has to be between 13 years and 13 years and 11 months in order to be eligible to apply.

I’m sure some of them can make exceptions, but it would limit the choices.

Our youngest son wasn’t ready for school at 4. We kept him home and had him start straight into year 1 at age 5 instead. Not everyone will be ready for prep at 4, but there are other options I’d choose rather than deferring.