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Education

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Any parents who are struggling with school fees and now regret the decision?

170 replies

freakazoidroid · 01/01/2012 10:21

I am considering private school for my daugher from reception in sept.
It will mean tightening the purse strings quite substanially.
I wondered if anybody had sent their dc's to private school and maybe a few years in slighty regrets the decision,from a financial point. What sacrifices have you made ,it is making your life harder and did anybody pull their dc out and put them into state?

OP posts:
ElaineReese · 06/01/2012 12:32

I had a year out as dd1 was born in the February of that year. Although this seems slightly off-topic!

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 06/01/2012 12:35

Elaine - of course you are allowed. I have the greatest respect for people with principles. I just like to understand them better; to walk a mile in other people's blatantly misguided confusion and wrongness. Grin

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 06/01/2012 12:37

Elaine - ahhhh that's v v different. That must have been both exciting and terrifying. And difficult.

ElaineReese · 06/01/2012 12:38
Thanks
MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 06/01/2012 12:40

Elaine - respeck.

I must go and do some work.

legallyblond · 06/01/2012 12:43

All totally fair enough Elaine, but then surely the answer, from you, to OP would have been: "Haven't made this decision, but imo, never worth the sacrifice as I think its morally wrong to choose private because it perpetuates a two tier system, which I don't think is right". You probably did say this, I am just not trawling back! From you (totally understandable) viewpoint, it doesn't matter in the least whether prep schools or any other private schools are worth the money, as they are wrong!

I am, in this narrow way only, I hope, nowehere near as principled [and also v coloured by my own background and upbringing from which it would be seen by fam,ily etc as frankly odd if I chose state - not that that is really a big factor for me]: I recognise that its a two tier system and that that is totally unfair. However, i want my DCs to be in the top tier, I can afford private, and so, in the interest of doing what I think is best for them, will choose private.

OP, if you're still there, I would look at what you can afford for, say, the next 3 or 4 years. if you could, even if it were by economising, afford private, then bear a pre-prep/prep in mind. Look round the prep AND your local state schools, really think about it and what the differents costs, in the widest sense, would be for you, and choose the school which you think is best for your child now. I promise you that if you choose the choice that you really think is best, faced with what you know now (none of us have a crystal ball), you will not regret it.

ElaineReese · 06/01/2012 12:53

The flowers were to 12.37 post, by the way! Grin

KandyBarr · 06/01/2012 12:58

I'm astounded when people assume their privately educated children will sail on to the influential and fascinating jobs of their choice.

Anecdotal this may be, but the most tedious, faceless, bureaucratic regulatory organisation I ever worked for was stuffed to the rafters with privately educated also-rans. Most of them are still there years later - for now, that is, until its funding is axed.

Sure, some go on to influence, but the majority don't.

wordfactory · 06/01/2012 13:19

Well there are no guarantees of course, but the stats speak for themselves; the privately educated are absurdly represented at Oxbridge, and even more so at some other RG universities. They are also absurdly over represented in all careers that wield power, influence and money.

KandyBarr · 06/01/2012 13:30

True, wordfactory, the stats do show an absurd over-representation - but plenty don't achieve the dazzling success they'd hoped for. Which makes it a risk - especially if there's to be years of self-sacrifice involved.

My uninfluential ex-colleagues always had a hunted look when they talked about their schools.

seeker · 06/01/2012 13:36

"And it does make me laugh up my sleeve when blatantly middle-class people purport to speak for those at h back of the queue."

I'd rather we tried to speak for the people at the back of the queue than teach our children to kick them as they step over them on the way to the opera.

ElaineReese · 06/01/2012 13:38

the privately educated are absurdly represented at Oxbridge, and even more so at some other RG universities. They are also absurdly over represented in all careers that wield power, influence and money.

Yes, but except that actually stats never speak for themselves. Chicken and egg, I think.

onceinawhile · 06/01/2012 13:47

I think it is terribly misguided to choose a school on the basis of a child perceived success in adult life. What is success anyway?

My children go to a state primary but if I ever was to pay, I know it would not buy future millionaires! I would not expect that at all. I would pay to give them opportunities, to have the best possible environment and teaching available. What they make of those opportunities it's up to them in the end!!!

As an aside privately educated children are also over-represented in many sports and the arts, I believe because they had the opportunity to have a go
as youngsters, and it is a terrible shame that those opportunities are not available to ALL children.

TalkinPeace2 · 06/01/2012 13:50

If I won the lottery my children would still stay at their comp and the sixth form college it feeds into
as I feel that those will give them the best social and academic opportunities when they go to university and on into their careers

but I would buy DD a pony and DS a go kart track to share with Dh

ElaineReese · 06/01/2012 13:52

I would not even think about changing their schools if I won the lottery, although if I went to buy a big nice house, which would be my first priority, I'd probably have to be careful about where, because there aren't many in the catchment areas.

TalkinPeace2 · 06/01/2012 13:56

one they are in the school you can move out of catchment!
a common occurrence round here !!!
and actually we already live out of catchment .....

ElaineReese · 06/01/2012 13:56

I know, it would be tad hypocritical of me though! Wink

TalkinPeace2 · 06/01/2012 13:59

true!
in the catchment for DC school there is a house currently on sale for £24million
I could buy that!
and there is a whole road with nothing under a million
there are catchments and catchments!

how many other posters would stay state if they won the lottery?

ElaineReese · 06/01/2012 14:06

The last thread to pose that question ran and RAN, as I recall....

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 06/01/2012 14:46

seeker - Typical that you should think I'm not allowed to go to the opera either. You are an inverted snob.

wordfactory · 06/01/2012 15:21

My Dad, hard drinking northern miner, was a big fan of opera. But I can never get into it. I dunno, it's just so bloody serious...

MarshaBrady · 06/01/2012 15:23

No me either.

Ballet yes. Although I hate it when people find a bit of dancing amusing.

Opera, I've seen half of one.

I did love the movie Amadeus .

TalkinPeace2 · 06/01/2012 16:05

If you only go to the Opera once, make it be a Mozart at Glyndebourne.
Snooze through the warbling, enjoy the intervals
(have been to dozens and dozens of operas and ballets - my Fonteyn/Nureyev programmes are safely stored)
But give me a sharply written comedy any day.

wordfactory · 06/01/2012 16:11

Is that the one where the audience take picnics and what have you? I quite fancy the occasion of that iyswim...and I do love a sossie roll.

But ballet I do like. Though I have only seen the classics.

MarshaBrady · 06/01/2012 16:14

I should try that one. Good tip.

The ballet makes me cry a little bit, due to welling of emotion. I much prefer Swan Lake to character ones such as The Nutcracker.

Although I have to stop thinking... timing, timing. (8 years of indoctrination).