What are my rights to withold school fees?...

[mummytippy]

Hi everyone,

I'll try and keep to the point with this very stressful and upsetting matter.

My son started at an independent school just after Easter. At this point he was 4. He turned 5 at the end of June.
We were due to move house (a move of just over 20 miles) so I decided on a school close to where we were going to and have now moved to. This was to try and ease any upheaval... as at least I hoped he'd remain at the same school despite moving house.

Upon enrollment the Headmistress advised that as the Easter term was short, and my son was a summer born boy, his progress would be monitored. She said that should he need a little more time to settle in he would continue after the summer hols in Reception and join year one after the October half term.

He settled in well. On the whole he's a very well behaved child and if anything he adapted well with the transition from nursery (free-play environment) to the more structured classroom environment.

At first things seemed fine, I found there to be small problems... little things... for example, letters home about uniform and important dates would name my son incorrectly... and I too would be addressed in-correctly (wrong surname and title). I dismissed these as felt they were minor.

As the summer hols approached I wasn't contacted as discussed by the head or my son's class teacher regarding his progress.
The head does have a reputation as quite formidable. Most parents find her very intimidating.
Instead of being contacted personally as I'd believed I would, I received a sheet of paper on the last day of term with a tick in the box telling me my son's progress was 'satisfactory'. This was not expanded upon.
I asked another parent with children in the same class... and apparently if you 'hadn't heard' it meant your child was going to start in year 1 after the holidays. I was pleased, as I felt my son must have met the required standard... in such a short term... and importantly it meant he could remain with his class mates.

After the (8 week) Summer holiday my son returned to school. After 3 days in, I found a compliment slip in his bag asking me to go into school as 'his behavior was causing reason for concern'. I was very shocked and worried... and wondered what on earth could he have done?

I arranged to see the headmistress the next morning. At the meeting (which the headmistress kept me waiting 20 minutes for) I was told my son had been sat 'twitching' at his table and 'fidgeting' with the contents of his pencil case.
I explained that this was very out of character... (usually if asked to stop, would) and perhaps as the holidays had been very long (as long as the Spring term) to maybe give him a few more days to settle in.
I was then completely shocked when the headmistress turned to me and said... 'Surely you know you have a naughty boy?' to which I replied dumbstruck ... 'Well, actually, he's relatively good at home... and has his moments... like most children' to which I got 'Oh, so he's an Angel at home and a terror here'... well his attitude has to change or you're wasting your money'!!! I did my best to remain composed and then re-iterated we were also moving house (upheaval, leaving his friends made since birth etc) and to bare this in mind and offer him additional support.

I am a lone parent and cannot say how much this shocked and hurt me to hear. Once I'd left the meeting, I went out to my car and sat and cried. Despite this, I felt I had to give the teacher and headmistress the benefit of the doubt, present a united front and had a chat with my son after school... explaining the importance of listening and learning at school.

From here, things went from bad to worse...
My son had started school being able to hold a pencil correctly but somehow now could barely do this? He was struggling to keep up too. As a result he was kept in a break times and part of the lunch hour and set extra work to do at home which I gladly did with him.

I received another note: Saying Griff's homework hadn't been done... but it had as I'd done it with him. I explained I knew it had definitely been completed as we'd had to use a blue pencil crayon (not ideal) and then the teacher sent a note saying 'It's turned up, 'my son' had hidden it at the bottom of the marking pile'. This is not something he would do... I seriously mean that... if anything he'd have to be told where to put the homework.

Then, about a week later, one morning whilst he was getting himself dressed for school he burst into tears... saying ' Please tell Mrs * (the head) I can dress myself Mummy!'. I couldn't believe how upset he was... and asked whatever had happened. He said he'd been dressing after P.E. the day before and the head had asked him if he dressed himself at home... on saying yes, she had replied with 'I don't believe you'. I can imagine he was probably dressing a little slowly... but he is only 5! I was not happy about him being demeaned.

By now I felt extremely unhappy and guilty in sending my son to school as he was clearly very unhappy... especially as the school seemed in no way to take any of the facts about our house move into consideration.

The final straw was my son being refused to go to the toilet after raising his hand and asking. As a result he wet himself in class and had to change into his P.E. shorts. I was humiliated and embarrassed and I out raged.

By this point we had reached October half term and I had to come to a decision... the last thing I wanted to do was create more upheaval. We had only been in our new home just over a week.
I felt I had no choice but to withdraw him from the school with immediate effect on the grounds that I felt he wasn't being treated or cared for properly.

I wrote to the headmistress explaining my reasons... to which she didn't acknowledge my letter but left a very rude answerphone message. I again wrote to her (going into more detail) to which again she replied very rudely, insulting me, saying I was rude and that I was being unfair to my son in removing him from the school and that he should have completed the term. She also said she felt I had written my letter of complaint to simply 'get out of paying the fees' and that she believes I cannot afford the fees'.
With regard to my son staying on, I was afraid of how he would be treated if he stayed, as they didn't seem to care about him before I'd raised my concerns.
With regard to affording the fees, the headmistress is not aware my son is now blissfully happy at another Independent fee paying school.

So, going back to my point about payment... I had been paying the school fees by direct debit each month... until September, where because I wasn't happy I put a stop on the DD. I withdrew my son at Oct half term... and was prepared to pay for Sept and Oct.

I am trying to look at this matter in a 'matter of fact' way which is:
'If you are unhappy with a service, do you pay for it?'
As I am extremely upset at the way my child has been treated and am unhappy with the standard of the education too, I am close to complaining to the ISC and Ofsted.

As a result of withholding payment, the headmistress has already
consulted a debt collection agency who are not only asking for the fees up to the end of term for which my son was withdrawn half-way (winter term) but she has also invoiced me for the Spring term of next year too.

I feel the school has failed my son and we have both been treated in a despicable manner. I would be very grateful for any advice and support.

Thank you in advance.

The point is mummytippy that the school may have already declined an application of a fee paying place to someone else and it is that money and the possible yearly fees thereafter that the school will be trying to go someway towards covering. By paying a terms fees in notice, the school has a whole term to try to recruit another student.

Think you're in denial about the legal situation, and need to pay up, you have a contractual obligation and no-one on here thinks you'd win in court. The court / credit a gencies won't care abuot your principles.

Might it affect your credit record?

The complaint can still be followed up.

You are not beyond reproach if you have not fulfilled your obligations to pay until the end of the valid notice period, as specified in the legally binding contract you entered into with the school.

If the notice period s the usual clear term, then you we fees up to the end of March 2012.

If you did not follow the grievance procedure (which it seems you did not, as you don't know what it contains), I can see no way in which you will be able to bring a successful counter action on your allegations of educational and pastoral shortcomings. You are in a very weak position because you chose the break the contract, rather than adhere to the remedy procedures within it.

I wasn't thinking about staff room chit chat, I was thinking about it in terms of getting it properly investigated so that other children don't have to suffer the same way...

Afraid your principles, and the moral high ground, will count for nothing if you have signed up to the school's rules requiring you to give at least a term's notice (if that's what the rules are), and you haven't.

As others have said, if you have a grievance against the school, then you need to follow the grievance procedure. As it is, you are essentially making up your own grievance procedure which says "if any parent isn't happy with something about the school, they can just waiver any of the rules, including the rules about giving notice before removing their child, and choose to withhold fees".

I'm not unsympathetic about the way you and your DS appear to have been treated, but - making the assumption that you haven't complied with the rules about notice-giving and paying fees in lieu of notice, and that's why they are pursuing you for unpaid fees - then I would have thought the school is highly unlikely to drop it. Bear in mind they almost certainly will have been down this path before with other parents, and they almost certainly will know where they stand legally.

@pickledsiblings...
Thank you, I understand this but the Headmistress told me in her answerphone message after I'd written to give notice that there's a waiting list for the school and she had a child waiting...

It sounds an awful school but I see no grounds at all for you not being liable for the fees right up to the Spring Term. THink you have to suck it up and pay.

@Dozer...
Thanks for your post.
I'm not in denial about the legalities... I simply posted on here to get lots of peoples views on the situation.
I understand I'm on thin ice if I was thinking of suing the school but the facts remain my child was not treated properly.
I'm not talking about trying to take the school to court... I'm trying to see what everyone as a whole feels would be fair for both sides.
Would you pay for a service you weren't happy with... one which damaged your child?

@pickledsibling...
My sentiments exactly about other children not having to go through this...

"Would you pay for a service you weren't happy with... one which damaged your child"

in this case yes, because I'ld want the focus to be on the poor treatment.

and because legally I should.

@Reuserecycleandregift...

Something tells me if you were in my shoes... you would maybe just ask for a bit of support from an on-line forum... to see what others think.
At no point have I said I'm not going to pay...
I've just with held payment.
My main priority has been settling my son into a new home and new school.
Thanks for your opinion and your time.

There are two issues here - first whether or not to pay the first term's fees and second whether or not to pay the additional notice period. You are on quite shaky ground for not paying the fees for the term you were actually there because there will likely be clauses in the contract that are designed to preclude you using a grievance against the school to avoid paying the fees.

The notice term is quite different. Schools and nurseries are on dodgy ground legally trying to enforce this because in most cases the notice clause is a "penalty clause" in which the school is trying to recover a greater amount of money from you than they have lost. To enforce the notice period in court the school would have to prove that they have actually lost the equivalent of a terms fees as a direct result of your breach of contract. This is very difficult for them to do and for this reason, (since the most recent contracts acts came into force) schools rarely go to law over notice periods. This will not stop them getting in debt collectors and trying to do everything short of court to get you to pay.

Good luck OP with whatever you decide. I'm glad your DS is doing so much better in his new school!

After reading all OP, and I'm not experienced in private schools, but would suggest you either write or speak to the arrogant HT, addressing all your concerns, what you wasn't happy about, also a way to resolve the matter.
The arrogant HT is saying you need to pay, obviously you feel you shouldn't pay for the term he is not there. It would possibly be difficult for you to be paying two school fees for two terms.
Or you can take the other route, give the school a bad name, and fight the fact your DS was treated unfair etc, however you may still have to pay the fees.
Once you have a response from the arrogant HT, you can decide what to do.
Who knows she may waive the fees, out of goodwill.
Your DS obviously wasn't well treated.
Like others have said, they are two different issues.
It all depends on what you want from all this?

It's time to send official complaints to everyone. She has mistreated your son and insulted you greatly. A voodoo doll may also help with your stress levels!

First point a debt collection agency can only ask for the money they cannot send in the bailiffs only the courts can do this after ruling against you (if you already know this I'm sorry but many people don't know this and see the letters from a debt collection agency especially the bit about sending in the bailiffs and panic). Most debt collection agencies don't want to take you to court because its boring costly and time consuming and debt collection agencies don't want any of this they want quick fixes, also as a single mum (unless you are very wealthy) even if the court rules that you have to pay they are likely will set it at such low limit that the debt collection agency will not get a big enough commission from it. Go to the CAB for advise with this. You can also stop them hassling you (if they are) by email/phone by writing and stating that you only wish to communicate by letter and will complain through your solicitor if they don't follow out you wishes there is an organisation you complain through I cant remember what it is called. Keep copies of everything you do. If they don't have your email /phone number only write.
Next question do you have the money for term your son was there? If you do I would write to the debt collection agency offering to pay that much within 7 working days of receiving the letter and clearly stating it will be a full and final settlement send this letter registered/recorded post (the one that has to be signed for all the way) and if you don't hear after the 7 working days send the cheque stating in the letter again that its the full and final payment and I understand that if they bank it thats the end of the matter. They may write back accepting the amount before the seven days. If they ask for more repeat your offer enclose your cheque for the term and tell them to take you to court for the rest but also state that you are a single mum, if your on benefit even better that really makes debt collection agencies reluctant to pursue you. If you really don't have the money I suggest you have two choices offer to pay for the term in manageable monthly payments or write to them stating you don't have the money your a single mum etc and tell them to take you to court for it. As a general principle most lawyers will tell you that you cant get money where money doesn't exist! Debt collection agencies also know this.
You may all be interested to know a friend of mine ( a lawyer at a big city law firm) removed her son suddenly from a well know independent school and did not pay the the next terms fees (£10 000). Her argument was breach of contract in failing to provide an acceptable standard of care. They never pursued her for the money. I believe she has done a similar thing in the past.
It all depends how much money and time and effort you want to spend on these type of problems. My friend's speciality is contract law so it was easy for her and it is doable in certain cases; a letter was sent carefully detailing why she was removing her DC on the company headed paper. A contract has to be fair and reasonable and you are agreeing to pay the fees/give a terms notice etc. but the school in return is agreeing to provide certain things. Sadly I suspect in this case it is a grey area. You have written in great length what went wrong and I think everyone would agree its sounds awful but I am unsure as to whether this actually be breach of contract because I suspect the school would justify its behaviour.
If you want revenge naming and shaming is a good way forward. Stand in the playgrounds nearest to the school and talk to other parents tell them about your dreadful experience the mothers grapevine will spread it round in no time at all. Ok you may only out a few off but you'll feel better for it!

Another thing to consider is whether your debt to the school (debt is how the school view it) is increasing due to late payment fees/interest.

I know my DDs school charge a small percentage, something like 3% for late payment of fees. In our schools case this is any fees not paid on or before the first day of term.

You could phone the school and ask for photocopies of all your signed contracts etc if you dont have your own copies.

Alternatively apply for a prospectus and ask for all the school policies using a false name and a friends/relatives address. This way you will get to see the paperwork even if its not the one you signed upto. Sometimes the policies are on the school websites.

I agree with you in principle on this but private schools tend to have you over a barrell with this rule they about a terms notice.

Its easy in hindsight, now your son is happily settled elsewhere to say you should have complained about the head before now, but sadly as you did not, I cannot see a way out of this. Even if you had officially complained, you would still be on dodgy ground to not pay up because of the contracts you most probably signed when your son joined the school.

I think I would be inclined to pay up but also log complaints about this head to everyone possible.

The T&Cs of the school will be to give a full-term's notice, which would basically take you up to Easter.

Phew, I have just got to the end of this thread.

if this is a true story , the OP has done just about everything wrong and has had very unusual experiences.

I don't understand the part about being a summer birthday and waiting to see if he should be held back after the summer. I have never been in an independent school where parents/carers do not get to see the class teacher at pick-up time each day. This is the time to check on settling in.

From the OP, it looks like there are issues about getting dressed, fidgeting, and doing homework. Surely it is right for the school to address these issues. If a child is slow to get dressed, then it is fair enough to ask if he dresses himself at home in order to chivvy him along. Part of being at school is to learn to sit still and not fidget and to general learn to behave in a socially acceptable way. That is one of the reasons for going private at a young age.

It seems like the OP has taken on concerns the school had about her son to be direct attacks on her parenting. I suspect there is a mismatch between what the school said and what she heard.

I do not understand why the OP did not pay her fees while continuing to send her son there. I am surprised a new school took on the OP's DS when she was in debt to another school.

I doubt that the head is such a creature if the school has a waiting list, tbh.

I m flabbergasted that the school has already handed over the matter to a collection agency, especially with no contact from the bursar's office.

You were already two months in arrears with the school fees when you pulled your son out, had you honestly had no bill reminders during this time, I would have thought this would have been sounding alarm bills with the bursar who I am sure has seen the complaints suddenly appear when a child is removed before in an attempt to avoid paying fees. As someone who worked in independent schools for many years it's pretty much par for the course these days.
Did you take your child to and from school each day and not once speak to his teacher? from your posts apart from the one time you were asked in you do not seem to have communicated your concerns at any time and much of your evidence appears to come from an only just five year old. Have you spoken to other parents about your concerns? You say others find her intimidatinng yet they all still chose the school for their children and you also say there is a waiting list.
I agree with the poster above that you have taken any comments as a personal attack on you and feel the school would be right to assume tha you cannot afford the fees as you hadn't been paying them at all this term.

As this has know gone to a debt collection agency the school cannot increase the amount only the debt collection agency can do this their charges. I also think that the school will not want to discuss it any further so the OP needs to negotiate with company that is now chasing the debt. They don't give a F**k about the ins and out of how the debt arose they just want money.
I think the advise above is fairly sound cut your losses and make them an offer and move on.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to give your views on this matter...

I have to say after sleeping on it (and not too well) I'm almost certain I'm going to go down the route of paying for the time my son was at the school.

I feel that this is fair due to the lack of care given to my son.

@amerryscot... Sadly yes, this is a true story.
At no point have I taken any of what the head has said to me personally with regard to my parenting skills. I presented a united front with the teachers and was very upset with my son initially and had a serious chat with him about trying his best and being good at school.

@... oneaplanetwiththexmasfairies...It was difficult to arrange to meet the teachers as there was a strict rule that children had to be dropped off in the morning and must go straight outside to the playground until the whistle is blown. At home time you had to wait on the pavement and wait whilst your child was dismissed. This was because the school is housed in a Victorian house on a residential avenue. I f anything I tried to catch my son's teacher in the morning once he was out in the playground, but I have to say that this was not encouraged. It is a school where the parents know very little about what goes on which eventually after speaking to other parents unsettled me.

My grievance with the school is that they have failed to communicate with me properly and their actions towards my son were always negative and at a time where he needed additional support. Their level of care towards him was appalling. You may think I'm biased... but my son is pretty well behaved compared to a lot of children.
At the start of the Sept term we were in the middle of a house move
(a tedious and stressful chain). I went into school to communicate this (the head already knew as this was why I'd placed him here) and the upheaval which may be caused to all involved. They did nothing to make my son feel secure. My son had two days off school. The day we moved house (so we could say goodbye to our house and neighbours) and the day our pet cat died about a week later (whilst in a cattery due to the move). The head went out of her way to criticise me, telling me over the telephone when I rang to explained he wouldn't be in school that I was wrong to keep him off and that I was not helping him. A friend pointed out that the only thing 'constant' for my son at this point was me and she was right. Why could the school not see or understand this.

I have already written to the head who has replied and as someone here said she has justified every single point I've raised as a reason and concern.
Sadly all the head is interested in is her money.

So many other things happened... one incident was the summer fair, where I'd volunteered to help out. I'd entered the school and spoken to the head asking where I needed to be. It was my first school event. She told me and I got on with my duties. Later, most of the children came outside into the playground to visit the stalls etc (I was manning the coconut shie which was very popular and I was actually run ragged picking up and collecting all the balls constantly). After about about 20 minutes or so I hadn't seen my son. I asked one of his school friends if he'd seen him. The next thing I knew was a very apologetic teacher came out with my son explaining that as they didn't know I was there he'd been kept in a classroom with other children supervised by the headmistress!!! I was dumbstruck as I'd introduced myself to her!!!
When I addressed this in my letter the headmistress said
''All the other parents came to collect their children. I could not let (ref to DS) go outside alone (playground) and staff were busy supervising the children who were waiting for parents to arrive. It was unfortunate that you didn't think to come and collect Griff the same as everyone else''.
This outraged me. I was volunteering outside and didn't know the procedure. Why couldn't she have simply told me 'the drill' when I arrived? My poor son had missed half of the summer fair as a result.

I'm pretty exhausted by it all and ultimately want to feel like justice has ben done... Just too many nasty horrible inexcusable things happened.

I think I need to at least write again (everything is documented) and express that I still feel my son was so badly treated that the school was in breach of contract.

Are you the only parent who has had these experiences?

I have absolutely no experience of Private education but I do find myself wondering what the headteacher's account of these events would be.