Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Parents from private schools

893 replies

freakazoidroid · 15/12/2011 08:57

We are considering private school for our dd. She is already at the nursery of the school we like and is due to start in reception in sept.
What I am worried about is the community of a private school. If she went to our local primary it would be more like that.
Can anyone please say what their experiences are? Have you made good friends with other parents and socialise with them?
Also we are not loaded and do not have a massive house and lots of nice holidays. In fact holidays would not occur much if we go private.
Will this hinder my dd at school as she gets older with her friends, will they pick on her for not having the lifestyle?
Thanks!

OP posts:
smallwhitecat · 15/12/2011 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Toughasoldboots · 15/12/2011 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smallwhitecat · 15/12/2011 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RedNoseBabyGiraffes · 15/12/2011 22:17

ElaineReese what's your problem? I'm a SAHM without an income. Is that poor enough for you?

belledechocchipcookie · 15/12/2011 22:23

'All sorts' of children depend on the school. In the prep ds went to the 'undesirables' (including myself as a single parent) were driven out by the new head teacher. Hmm He also withdrew the place of one child because her father was dying and her mother didn't want the head to tell her that he was going to heaven as it wasn't her faith (I heard this from her).

JordanBaker · 15/12/2011 22:23

Mottledcat did you not read my post upthread regarding the bursary statistics at both my DC's schools? I can assure you that 'poor' children do attend private schools. My DS's best friend's Mum is a single parent, lives in a rented flat and is on benefits. She drives a car that cost £300. She sought out a bursary for her DS. My DD's school offers loads of bursaries. And no one gives a shit who has one and who doesn't.
The system isn't fair. No child should be denied a good education because their parents can't afford it. But then no child should be denied a grammar school education because their parents couldn't or wouldn't play the system and home tutor. The system is fu*ked up. But I don't think anyone has the right to attack parents who are only trying to get the right education for their child. It's exactly what Seeker is doing, and I don't blame her.

JordanBaker · 15/12/2011 22:26

FFS Elaine, they do. Where's your evidence that they don't? Admittedly they have to have parents that are clued up and know how to apply. But that's true of grammar schools as well.

Janni · 15/12/2011 22:26

I'm in London and my experience is that there's a private school to suit whatever sort of family you are. There's no 'one size fits all'.

icancount · 15/12/2011 22:37

Elaine - please define 'all sorts' of children so we can be clear about what you mean.

seeker · 15/12/2011 22:40

I was leaving the thread because my being on it was causing the hijack. And because people were responding to what they thought I said, rather than what I actually said. All I have ever said is that it is wrong to suggest that private schools are an option available to anyone if they only try hard enough. And that I am opposed to selective education- whatever criteria are used for selection.

And the people labelling me a hypocrite have yet to suggest a non hypocritical course of action I could take in my circumstances.

Thank you to those of you who actually read what I posted, and saw my point of view.

seeker · 15/12/2011 22:42

But I am now actually going to stay around until amerryscot comes back and justifies her disgusting comment.

JordanBaker · 15/12/2011 23:08

Seeker no one on this thread has suggested that 'private school is an option that is open to anyone if they just try hard enough'. Of course there will be many more children deserving of a place than the number of bursary places available. And I can assure you that my definition of poverty is not 'no foreign holidays' nor is it that of other people I know who privately educate their children. But I'm in the same situation as you- I want the right education for my children. You have a computer, know about forums where you can get advice, know that an ed psych report could help your case, and can afford to pay for one. Is that fair? No. Will you do it? Of course you will. Even though that might deprive an equally talented 'poor' child of an appeal place.
Just don't have a go at me for doing the best I can for my children.

Jajas · 15/12/2011 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 15/12/2011 23:13

I didn't have q go at anyone. I said that the are no poor children at private school- which you seem to agree with. I an waiting for someone who think's I'm a hypocrite to tell me what they think I should do.

JordanBaker · 15/12/2011 23:16

And Seeker I do see your problem, and no I can't suggest a way out of it (other than move). The difference is, I don't slag off other people for the choices they make in equally difficult circumstances.

JordanBaker · 15/12/2011 23:17

FFS there are poor children at private school. Can you not read?

Jajas · 15/12/2011 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JordanBaker · 15/12/2011 23:22

Grin at jajas

seeker · 15/12/2011 23:28
  1. I agree that this thread has gone off piste (!)and I apologise. I tried to remove myself but failed.
  1. If you can find anywhere where I have slagged anyone off i will apologise again and make q donation to charity.
  1. If I have no choice how can I be a hypocrite? I don't want to work within q system the I frequently and openly criticise, but the isn't anything else I can do.
Jajas · 15/12/2011 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 15/12/2011 23:30

There are q few schools that do 100% bursaries- but they a very few and fae between,

JordanBaker · 15/12/2011 23:43

Actually there are loads of schools that do it, I don't know where you get your figures from. And you slag people off by implying that 1) we are happy to send our DC to schools that admit no 'poor' children 2) we make up stories about old cars in the car park and 3) we define poverty as not being able to afford foreign holidays. I really object to it. I struggle with the choices we have made, as I know do you. But I cut you some slack because I think I understand. I just find your posts really judgemental, especially on a thread such as this.

seeker · 15/12/2011 23:58

"There are all sorts of parents at my childrens private school "

Except poor ones, obviously!

"Prep school car park full of "beaten up old Volvos" is it? Somehow it always is!"

Those are my two slagging off comments. I leave to to others who have read the thread to judge the off score board!

belledechocchipcookie · 16/12/2011 00:07

You say that you are opposed to a selective education yet you wish for your children to attend a grammar. Isn't this going against your belief? Every school should be a great school and it's very sad that this isn't the case.
Every parent has the right to decide which school is best for their child and to send them there without every single private school thread turning into an argument. The sarcastic remarks are not necessary.

seeker · 16/12/2011 00:11

I am opposed to selective education. I live in an area where there are only selective schools. What should I do?