Parents from private schools

[freakazoidroid]

We are considering private school for our dd. She is already at the nursery of the school we like and is due to start in reception in sept.
What I am worried about is the community of a private school. If she went to our local primary it would be more like that.
Can anyone please say what their experiences are? Have you made good friends with other parents and socialise with them?
Also we are not loaded and do not have a massive house and lots of nice holidays. In fact holidays would not occur much if we go private.
Will this hinder my dd at school as she gets older with her friends, will they pick on her for not having the lifestyle?
Thanks!

Have a look at this thread, it's not too long and quite entertaining.

Here is a particularly apt quote:

"I attack the system. AND those who exploit it for their own ends."

OP (ignoring the sniping, which I find amusing, since I would be making very different choices if there were still grammar schools round here) my DC are at a private prep school. No it doesn't represent a cross-section of society by any means, although there are plenty of asset-rich, cash-poor farmers whose fees I would guess are being funded by grandparents and/or bursaries, and lots of teachers' DC with massive discounts which make up for the less-than-average salaries (supposedly). So, in answer to your questions, yes there is a "community" and if you have time/inclination to engage you are likely to make friends, and it doesn't appear to bother the DC one jot how much money anyone does or doesn't have. Caveat, though - this is a VERY rural, non-selective, school and the DC are incredibly un-streetwise for their age. I would suspect London prep schools would be very different.

"The local school is wonderful, really, it's just theat Jocasta is sooooooo sensitive/bright/original/independent minded/talented/artistic/prone to arson...it's the right school for the right child, isn't it? And I'm pretty sure I saw someone in a tracksuit waiting outside yesterday....."

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/education/1063601-I-think-the-11-plus-is-unfair

Did that make anyone cry?

I don't think anyone has claimed to have cried at any of Heeker's posts.

I think Heeker herself has made this assertion. This is actual her MO. She often makes outrageous statements that have no basis in fact at all, for example scaring people into thinking that independent schools do not employ qualified teachers, that independent school families believe that knives are rampant in state schools.

I can't really be bothered going through old threads. It is very time consuming and I have better things to do.

This could have been avoided had Heeker butted out of this thread right at the beginning. Her view, whether true or untrue, was frankly irrelevant to the OP's question.

Perhaps it's time for Mumsnet to split into Mumsnet Independent, Super-Selective and Selective and Mumsnet State School?

We could have the advertising for Boden, White Co and Mark Warner and you lot could have the advertising for Greggs sausage rolls, XBOX and National Lottery scratchcards. We could talk about the best ways to handle the difficulties experienced by 14 year old boys struggling with the inner torment of no longer knowing if they're a treble or a tenor, and you could discuss the concerns you have that your sons' probation officers don't have enhanced CRB checks.

Just lately it's become impossible to have a sensible conversation about fittings for Eton tailcoats.

That is so yucky, Tough. I am sorry to hear that you were that upset.

I have actually thought for a while that an Independent Education board would be worthwhile, even if the TPA mocks it before it is even created. There are plenty of worthwhile topics to discuss.

"And I seem to remember Seeker saying months ago that she thought ds may well not go to grammar school, anyway."

Hmmm. Doesn't that rather undermine the reason for appealing?

Actions do not always match words.

Of course I'm really sorry that i reduced you to tears - can't you even give me a hint of what I said?

But I honestly don't think the other things people have linked to are that bad- certainly not by mumsnet standards!

And I'm sure I said that ds might well not go to grammar school- who would make any sort of confident statement pre CATS, pre year5 levels? Who would make any confident statements anyway?

seeker what I linked to wasn't bad by Mumsnet standards, but this is an Education board, not AIBU, so perhaps that why some of your comments grate.

Other examples: I once said I could buy a flashier car if I didn't educate DS privately, you called me "vulgar".

I once said that proposing to ban private education was ridiculous and that no-one proposed banning Waitrose, or nice foreign holidays (as other things poorer people might not be able to afford). You called me a "straw doll".

I think it's comments like those that have slowly made people remember you as being incredibly judgmental and biased, and now finding out you want / believe your DS deserves, an educational advantage, has irked some of those you have criticised for wanting the same for their children

I won't be posting on this thread again as I think enough has been said.

And that diabolo is the whole point as has been stated here by many of us ad nauseum.

By all means post your views on threads set up to discuss such things. Be as robust as you like. I think debate is to be welcomed.

But hopping onto any and all threads about private school simply to say somehting negative is unhelpful and ill mannered.

There have been all sorts of snide remarks on this thread, but the one that is most egregious is the unnecessary, uncalled for and shameless swipe at good Daily Mail readers. Am currently studying Mumsnet guidelines to see if this is a breach of Mumsnet etiquette. Whoever did that should be ashamed of themselves.

I have nothing more to add either as I agree that we've done it to death now, but could someone just explain the 'heeker' joke please?

I called you a "straw doll"? What on earth did I mean by that?? If that's something really rude then I apologise!

"Heeker" is a combination of "Seeker" and "hypocrite". Hilarious, no? And the repetition makes it even funnier.

I was so baffled by the "straw doll" incident, diabolo, that I did a bit of searching-
ancient thread

Please have a look at the conversation we had between 19.33 and 20.20.

H, and I didn't say you would be vulgar if you got a car. I said you would look vulgar if you got a Porsche.

And I stand by that!

OMG, Heeker.

I can't believe you accused others about being straw men. That is your keynote style - you should be running masterclasses.

Here's a verse from one of my favourite poems. It is worth pondering, heeker:

O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us
It wad frae monie a blunder free us
An' foolish notion
What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us
An' ev'n Devotion

Please stop the Heeker thing.

Yes, I agree - not funny and a bit childish.

Stop being a hypocrite.

I have tracked down two of these rude and unpleasant things I am supposed to have said- did you see my post earlier this morning. One was obviously a joke- and was taken as such on the thread-including by the person i said it to! The other involved a friendly conversation with a poster including grin in which she asked what a straw man was, and then agreed that she had put one up!

Maybe you should apply the divine Robbie's thoughts to yourself on occasion, amerryscot- I don't think even your best friend could say you come out of this thread well.