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Original poster

Parents from private schools

893 replies

freakazoidroid · 15/12/2011 08:57

We are considering private school for our dd. She is already at the nursery of the school we like and is due to start in reception in sept.
What I am worried about is the community of a private school. If she went to our local primary it would be more like that.
Can anyone please say what their experiences are? Have you made good friends with other parents and socialise with them?
Also we are not loaded and do not have a massive house and lots of nice holidays. In fact holidays would not occur much if we go private.
Will this hinder my dd at school as she gets older with her friends, will they pick on her for not having the lifestyle?
Thanks!

OP posts:
purits · 19/12/2011 00:09

Don't you think that there are at least another 30 sets of parents saying exactly the same as you: my DC was a dead cert to get in the Grammar but for some inexplicable reason now "wlll not be with his peers".
They will, together, form the top set of the Sec Mod.

Rache101 · 19/12/2011 00:09

Hello
My son is applying for a sixth form scholarship to Harrow school and have 3 exams and a interview, does he stand a good chance of getting in?. He does Cadets, debating, Prefect, part of a classsical society, shooting, part of the Labour Party and represents his county at Cadet football. His predicated grades haven't been released yet but I reckon he will get around 3-5 A*'s and GCSE. Do you think he stands a realistic chance or am I living in a dream world?

Thank You

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 19/12/2011 00:12

seeker - do you believe grammar schools select the brightest 23%?

belledechocchipcookie · 19/12/2011 00:12

Would you seriously send your children to a comprehensive where the school is 'aiming for a 24% GCSE pass rate', where the person sent in to help the staff control pupils was attacked and ended up receiving hospital treatment, and where the pupils tell the Ofsted inspectors that they don't feel safe at school?

alistron1 · 19/12/2011 00:15

It's a strange one where I live. we rent in a very nice area. At the local primary (where my kids went/go to) most kids move on to grammar/private. So the local secondarys do not really take many kids from the local area. DS1's school is undersubscribed and is a sort of a last chance saloon for many kids IYSWIM. I too would not be happy with a system where my kids could not get access to triple science. Fortunately the HT of DS1's school is an aspirational sort of chap and wants the best for all pupils. DS1 will start his triple science gcse's next year in Y9.

And I get how you feel, you want the best and it is annoying that unless you CAN pay you just have to suck up what the system offers. And despite already driving a beat up 20 year old volvo we cannot find the money for private education.

alistron1 · 19/12/2011 00:17

Having said that though, secondary education is a minefield wherever your kids go. Teeneagers need class sizes of 1 IMHO so that us parents don't need to hear the 'but everyone else has/does...' line.

alistron1 · 19/12/2011 00:18

Teenagers, not teeneagers ffs. Can you tell I am a bit giddy about being up so late on a school night?!

bulletpoint · 19/12/2011 00:22

So you wouldnt have entered your son for the 11+, you would have opted for the sink school, why ?

bulletpoint · 19/12/2011 00:24

rache101 Hmm this is a wind up ?

alistron1 · 19/12/2011 00:25

If you are talking to me my son did the 11+ failed and HAD to go to the local sink school. it was a worrying time, but a year or so in he's thriving. I have 2 DD's at state grammars and in terms of progress/achievement there is no difference. And as I said he has many more options/opportunities than my DD's.

bulletpoint · 19/12/2011 00:29

alistron i was talking to seeker, i asked her a question earlier on and just wanted to clarify things.

RealLifeIsForWimps · 19/12/2011 00:31

Comprehensive education works if all comprehensives are broadly the same, but they're absolutely not. The top set of one comprehensive could well be the bottom of another. As Belle says, if the choice is between the failing comprehensive and writing the cheque, and you can write the cheque, I imagine most parents will write it. Yes, that is why those schools get worse and worse, because parents with any other options shun them, but who's going to let their child be the redeeming force at their own expense?

Yes, you can obviously be pro-active about school applications, but you can be shut out of the "good" comps on the basis of faith or address or just get a "bad sibling year"- there was one school in a v popular school near my friend (SW London) where every place in a 60 child intake went to siblings apart from 5.

Rache101 · 19/12/2011 00:31

BULLETPOINT- No, I am serious, if he does not stand a chance, maybe should be realistic and focus on more important things

bulletpoint · 19/12/2011 00:35

rache101 you've put this post in the wrong area, you need to go to EDUCATION, then SECONDARY, and click on "start a new thread".

purits · 19/12/2011 00:40

Rache: I have no idea if your DS would get in but entry to 6th form is not like entry to Year 7. You can try for as many 6th options as you fancy so why not go for it. What have you got to lose?
Worst case scenario: DS realises what the competition is like and raises his game for GCSE. Or he doesn't get in but gets useful interview practice under his belt.

seeker · 19/12/2011 05:41

"Don't you think that there are at least another 30 sets of parents saying exactly the same as you: my DC was a dead cert to get in the Grammar but for some inexplicable reason now "wlll not be with his peers".
They will, together, form the top set of the Sec Mod."

Actually, no I don't. And neither does the school in question.

seeker · 19/12/2011 05:44

"Would you seriously send your children to a comprehensive where the school is 'aiming for a 24% GCSE pass rate', where the person sent in to help the staff control pupils was attacked and ended up receiving hospital treatment, and where the pupils tell the Ofsted inspectors that they don't feel safe at school?"
Schools like this are few and far between. Except in the England of the Daily Mail reader!

FellatioNelson · 19/12/2011 05:47

How weird - that's two newbies who have come into this thread with random unrelated queries - I have never rarely seen that happen before, but two on one thread? Confused

seeker · 19/12/2011 06:31

Very odd. Can't explain it unless this thread has been linked to somewhere? Maybe?

purits · 19/12/2011 08:53

"Actually, no I don't. And neither does the school in question."

So, like I said last night, you do think that your pfb will be the lone genius at the new school.

seeker · 19/12/2011 08:57

No. I just don't think he will be one of 30. Or one of 160 as he would be at the grammar school.

Why are you being so rude?

purits · 19/12/2011 09:15

Because you have been so rude to others over the years.

seeker · 19/12/2011 09:27

I haven't, you know. I will donate £10 to charity if you can find an example of me being rude to someone who wasn't rude to me first.

purits · 19/12/2011 09:38

Depends on your definition of rude, I suppose. Mine includes: when someone is asking for help or advice, you coming in and unhelpfully trampling your ideology all over the thread.

Markandkark · 19/12/2011 09:48

I have a ds diagnosed with AS and dyspraxia. He was treated very badly in the state system. We had no other state options available. So we pay to send him privately. Whilst Seeker is entitled to disagree with this, during a thread a few months ago, she and someone else had some banter re: this, amongst other things. They thought it was amusing to play "bingo", in that I was just wheeling out a timeworn excuse. I found it pretty offensive.