Parents from private schools

[freakazoidroid]

We are considering private school for our dd. She is already at the nursery of the school we like and is due to start in reception in sept.
What I am worried about is the community of a private school. If she went to our local primary it would be more like that.
Can anyone please say what their experiences are? Have you made good friends with other parents and socialise with them?
Also we are not loaded and do not have a massive house and lots of nice holidays. In fact holidays would not occur much if we go private.
Will this hinder my dd at school as she gets older with her friends, will they pick on her for not having the lifestyle?
Thanks!

Too late - I served myself a real one or two - thanks for the sentiment :)

Ah, shame there's not a cake smiley to go with your wine.

These sorts of threads always end up the same way. They go around in circles and don't achieve what the op wanted them to so I'm not going to post on this thread any more. I'm just going to drink instead. Adios.

Seeker-It's a shame your 15 year old daugher feels the need to phone admission tutors to check if the A levels offered at her Grammar school are sufficient for one of their courses. It's completely irrelevant that some students may not progress on to a RG uni or indeed any uni at all. There are lots of pupils like that in the indepent sector too. It's not at all unusual for an outstanding performance at A level to be preceded by a tepid or even poor performance at GCSE. Selective schools shouldn't be limiting the options of these pupils; 15 year olds shouldn't have to worry about this nonsense. All doors from grammar schools should remain firmly open to any pupil. In fact not just grammar schools, but all schools. This is often why Independent schools outperform state schools.

Bellede - amerryscot posted this just above:

'They deal with it, full stop.

And they deal with damaged children, bullied in the state sector.'

Merry I am not 'picking on you', I'm explaining why I made the post I made on Friday.

Yes Elaine, I said way back that being sneery about dc was unpleasant . It was when I also said I did not like that seekers was upset. Disliking the 'pity the pathetic kids who can't cope with 9 in a class is consistent with that.
Your comments being 'tit for tat' doesn't improve them. It makes them a bit worse to be honest. Being faux sympathetic and shitty because someone else was is lowest common denominator posting.

It is lazy to just throw everyone into 'for or against' and try and beat the shit out of anyone you see as being on the other side. Schools are the parents choice. It should be possible to leave sneering at children out of it.

"You'll fit in fine, OP - what you'll all have in common is that you and your children are too good for normal schools. Enjoy!"

And what about the above comment, Elaine? Made by you to the inoffensive OP, who only started her thread for some reassurance.

I'd be delighted to hear your explanation for that one.

Bellechocolate.
I know how much there is to choosing a school.
My comments were only talking about bullying and I think anti-bullying policies are primarily determined by the individual schools determination to be robust or not.

I am obviously in some kind of time warp, as I made that comment just this afternoon.

And I stand by it. If I had a pound for every child I have seen rescued from bullying in their state schools..... you get the picture.

And sadly the children for whom independent education was out of reach. It makes me want to cry. I would not want to wish systematic bullying on my worst enemies where adults who are supposed to care for them stand back and snigger. I am glad that I get to pick up the pieces, but know that it is only the very tip of the iceberg.

Threads about private schools pretty much always do Everlong Some people need to get their chisels out and do some chipping.

You got it, Everlong. Chips on shoulders. Big ones!

It is ridiculous to say that o e sector deals effectively with bullying- and the other doesn't. Some schools do and some don't. I have a relative whose child was so badly bullied at a state primary ( initially because of his very unusual first name) that he became a school refuser Equally, a child has been called a "Jew killer" at his prep school every day since his class mates discovered that his father is German.

In both cases the school's response has been wholly inadequate. Nothing to do with the sector, just completely rubbish schools.

Not ridiculous at all, despite your anecdotes.

It isn't like this if someone starts a thread about health insurance or getting a child into a grammar school. It's OK to do your best for your children as long as you don't pay for it as far as some people are concerned.

But I wasn't being faux sympathetic, I was parodying faux sympathy.

Tanith, yes the comment you cite wasn't the best thought-through, but as I have said - one of the most irksome things about private school threads is this notion that 'all kinds of people go there'.

Even if they do let some poor-but-clevers in, or have bursaries or whatever, still surely the one common factor amongst all this 'diversity' is that none of them think state is good enough?

However.

I don't think it's bizarre that some people are anti-private education, nor is it bizarre that those people are consistently anti-private education - surely if 'the same faces' were sometimes in favour of it and sometimes not, that would be the bizarre thing?

It seems to me that the anti-anti-private brigade have several possible defences - all of which get levelled at me, and yet none are consistent (I have a chip on my shoulder because my kids aren't at private school and I wish they were - but also I am smug because I cheated my way into a good state school).

I am against private education no matter where you live or what school you live near, or why you chose it. Just like I'm against Nestle and 4x4s and anything else to which I'm fundamentally opposed. You can disagree, but you can't say it's based on chippiness any more than you can say I secretly really want to buy a load of Nestle but can't afford it.

"Not ridiculous at all, despite your anecdotes."

So how come your anecdotes count and mine don't?

But 'all kinds of people' are barred from certain state schools also. Lets assume I'm broke. I'm not a catholic so ds isn't likely to get a place in a catholic school, I'm out of catchment for the excellent secondary so unless I can afford to move or can afford the bus fare ds has no chance of going there. There isn't a grammar school here, the nearest one is 50 miles away so no chance of him going there. State schools have their own way of selecting who gets a place, they don't give places to 'all kinds of people.' If someone was to start a thread asking which Nestle chocolate bar to buy their children whould you spend time bashing them for their choices on there? Probably not. So you can't afford a private school? I can't afford private healthcare so I use the NHS. I don't jump into threads and bash people who use private healthcare.

Well, Seeker, judging by you posts over the last few years, I'd say that my anecdotes are evidence and experience based, and not tainted by ideology (or hypocracy).

So my anecdote about my relative being bullied in a state school is tainted by ideology?

Well then, you won't be made to feel bad, will you?

bellede, well yes, what if you were broke - what do you think those people do?

Apply for bursaries Elaine, home educate, move house, find a different school which is accessable or send your child to the nearest catchment school. There's no need to bash the decisions of parents who choose to opt for a private school. It smacks of 'she has a new toy, I don't so I hate her!'