What do you look for in a school ( prep - early years)

[jabed]

DW and I are looking at schools. This is new to us and we are not really sure what we should be looking for.

DS will be 5 in August. We had him in a local school until last term but things have not been what we wanted, so we need to look around.
We know DS is bright for his age and according to his school had met all the years targets before Easter. But he is still going to be a young boy in any class he enters.

We know its easy for people to mistake him for a child much older because he has good volcabulary, is around adults a lot ( being an only child) and is tall for his age ( a gene from both sides of the family ) but we want him to have a normal childhood mixing with boys and girls his own age etc. He isnt as grown up as he may look.

We are considering home schooling but we are also looking at other school options - independent sector. He will be entering in year 1.

We are not sure what to look for when we visit. Any tips would be welcome.

Thanks

Oh, sorry, I've got the situation wrong have I, Jabed? Then what is the situation? It seems that you keep changing your mind or adding crucial bits of information that would significantly alter responses to your OP. Do you still have options plural or do you have the choice of the Christian school which you're seeing on Tuesday vs continuing to home ed?

and since you don't really seem to have investigated all the various alternatives yet try searching here and schools.net for more info and feedback of what is closer to your home than the school where you teach.

I assume the OP would want his Ds to go to his school because of the massive savings in fees. I would be suspicious of a school that has no space in yr 1 so is suggesting yr 2 as an option. Probably more as a let's see how he goes. If he is emotionally immature he will struggle with children, some of whom may be nearly two years older than him.

If I had pulled my Ds out of school at Easter I would have invested time in the Easter term checking out alternatives.

Agree with mrz and I work in state education while my DS is independent.

Right from my post on Page 1 where you asked what people look for in a pre-prep, you haven't wanted to hear our answers. You were incredulous at my original answer, which is pretty normal as a prep school goes.

You clearly have your own opinion about what kind of education / peer group you want your DS to have, but I don't think it exists in the real world.

Even a non-selective Pre-Prep will pressurise him just as much (if not more), than any state primary, if not academically, then in terms of sport, or music, or drama or becoming more independent as a person.

I'm not sure what you are really looking for. Perhaps home-ed is the answer, although it really sounds as though your DS would benefit from mixing more with other kids.

It is odd to invite others' opinions when you have such a particular and peculiar agenda. It is also odd to want to come up with a hypothetical list of wants when it seems that there is only one choice of school left to your son in reality.

When I went looking at schools, which was something I started thinking about years before my dcs were school-aged, my starting point was what schools are available to us and what can they offer? Seems a bit more logical than asking what we might ideally like and then looking at how schools measure up, especially when you're, in effect, starting the process over a year after everybody else with children in the same year group as your son so your choices are much more limited.

As others have pointed out, you can't really make a decision on paper anyway. You only really get a feel for a school when you visit it and then the decision is often instant. I knew that the school that in some ways was the most logical choice for us was absolutely wrong as soon as I walked through the door and the speculations of strangers on the internet would not have helped me at all come to this very personal conclusion.

I assume the OP would want his Ds to go to his school because of the massive savings in fees. I would be suspicious of a school that has no space in yr 1 so is suggesting yr 2 as an option. Probably more as a let's see how he goes. If he is emotionally immature he will struggle with children, some of whom may be nearly two years older than him.

If I had pulled my Ds out of school at Easter I would have invested time in the Easter term checking out alternatives.

Making a lot of assumptions there. Did I suggest I hadnt been looking at this since before Easter? The long holiday has meant I havent been able to visit schools.

I wouldnt get a great reduction in fee in my own schools prep because I work part time. The fee isnt an issue. We can afford that. The main issue is proximity. I know some places have loads of schools near . We have precisely two state schools ( one full) and one small school ( fee paying). The preps are all at least 40 mins drive. There are three possible there.

We have done the homework.

Thanks for all the help. I will update this when we come to some decision. I need to sort it all out now. Lots of things to think about . Thanks.

Oh, sorry, I've got the situation wrong have I, Jabed? Then what is the situation?

Very wrong . We are not home educating at the moment because there is no need. Thats the first thing.
Too many to mention really.

But thanks for your interest anyway.

Thanks to all those who gave advice. I have had a lot of things to help with sorting a suitable school ( if a few unfounded assumptions and criticisms too , but I suppose thats normal).

I will come back at some point when we have it sorted.

Thanks for the input everyone.

I hope you find the right solution for you and your family.

None of my business but since you work part time (and will effectively be working for nothing if you deduct school fees) would home ed not be an option?

Jabed, your posts really are very confusing. After many, many posts you tell me I have got your situation 'very wrong' but you won't explain how. You now say that you are not home educating your son but your OP said this was one of your options and earlier you said, 'he is now at home. He will be at home until he reaches his fifth birthday.'

So,
Is it the case that your son is currently being home educated? Because if he is not at any school and is, in fact, at home then surely this should be the case?

Is it the case that the best option that you have currently for schooling your son from September (the one your dw favours) is the Christian school that you are visiting next Tuesday?

Is it the case that of the 2 state schools available to you, one didn't work out and the other has no places?

Is it the case that that there are 2 prep schools (including the one where you work and where you would like your son to go aged 8) which are no good because they want to put your son in Year 2 when he should actually be in Year 1 (and will be young for the year group at that)? There is also an issue about proximity.

Because those are certainly things that you've said on this thread and which I've just repeated back to you.

Or is this another example where you accuse me of getting something wrong (you told me I was making things up earlier) and then never actually back that up?

I hope you find the right solution for you and your family.

None of my business but since you work part time (and will effectively be working for nothing if you deduct school fees) would home ed not be an option?

Mrz - thanks for the thought. Teaching is not my first career. I am much older than your average parent here. We have funds. I teach because I enjoy it these days not for the money.

Jabed, you began the thread 2 days ago saying you were considering home schooling and now you have ruled it out?

And since your child has been out of school since Easter and at home you have either been home educating him or breaking the law.

You are a mass of contradictions.

Obviously five candles you do not know the law. I am not breaking any law in keeping ds at home. He is not yet five years old. It is quite legal for us to have him at home and it is not required that we home educate either.

The only contradictions I display are that I am not conforming to what you think I should be doing or what you think I am like.

I have not entriely ruled out home educating. However, my thread concerning that option was started several weeks ago ( on home ed).

Its not my preferred option but it has not been ruled out.

jabed give the poor little boy a break and stick him in any old school where he can a feel for what's normal. Do him a favour and break the cycle. I think that out of all of your limited options the most life enhancing for your DS would be the school that you've just pulled him out of. Good luck to you all.

Aargh I'm so retentive. I missed out the word 'get'. Hate myself so much.

Yellowstone, thank you for your opinion. I will take it under consideration with everything else but dont hold your breath, he isnt going back to that particular school. That decision is made and is not and was not on the option list.

I think you need to sit and contemplate what you actually want from a school. You have misunderstood what I said. You removed your child from school at Easter. I assume this wasn't a spur of the moment decision. No doubt it had been building up since your Ds started school in the Sept and you'd had enough by Easter. What stopped you looking at schools during the Lent term? Other than the usual one week February half term there were no long holidays. Instead the schools have been back a week and you are looking at one school that you don't sound particularly enthused by.

Choosing a school isn't rocket science and isn't especially difficult. It's like buying a house. You start off with an idea of what you want and after visiting a number you work out what matters and what doesn't and you go with what feels right. For me that was an inspiring head, someone that leads and encourages their staff to be the best they can be.

If you don't know what you are looking for no amount of money thrown at school fees will make it right.

jabed this may surprise you but with a very busy life and eight kids, no, I won't be holding my breath.

I do hope though that as the oldish dad of an only child you give him some air to breathe and don't try to mould too much; all children need to be at least relatively free.

For a teacher (even a well off one of independent means) you do seem to be very intolerant and very unseeing. Thank God there are teachers around who see that kids who swear and spit and hit are probably hurting inside. Your DS will be less likely to participate and contribute to society if he's too shielded, however brilliant he is.

Wow Yellowstone you have 8 dcs?

Wake up wake up MollieO yes I lurch from meal to meal.

Complete admiration Yellowstone.

Yellowstone - not wanting to go off the subject but just to let you know, as one gets older, I have found that one gets far less tolerant. I dont think I am alone in this. I work in a school where most of my colleagues are +/- 5 years of my own age. This is largely because the school has a very stable staff and little staff turnover. I am relatively new there , some have 30 years teaching in the school ( as I said its a fantastic place and I wouldnt hesitate to put ds into senior school there) . My views fit with theirs. They do not seem to fit here so I have to conclude its to do with age and not occupation so much.

I do not buy into the idea that children should be allowed or excused bad or aggressive behaviour because they are "hurting inside". Maybe because I am of the generation where you dealt with that hurting differently. You didnt lash out at others. If you did, you quickly found out the consequencies were not positive.

So forgive me for wanting to protect my ds from others who are hurting so much that they need to lash out and hurt him. I would be failing as a dad if I didnt protect him and try to move him out of that situation.(I think). Besides I dont want him copying because he sees it works for others.
I therefore seek a place for him where he will learn the same standards of behaviour and the same good manners as we practice here at home.

I am sure others do uphold those standards (my own school do for a start).
I need to get on with the matter in hand now.

Thank you for your thoughts and views.

What stopped you looking at schools during the Lent term?

Mollie - eternal optimism, giving things a second and third chance and a limited number of alternatives. As I said, we dont have a large number of other schools in my location. We were looking at them. Hope that explains.