What do you look for in a school ( prep - early years)

[jabed]

DW and I are looking at schools. This is new to us and we are not really sure what we should be looking for.

DS will be 5 in August. We had him in a local school until last term but things have not been what we wanted, so we need to look around.
We know DS is bright for his age and according to his school had met all the years targets before Easter. But he is still going to be a young boy in any class he enters.

We know its easy for people to mistake him for a child much older because he has good volcabulary, is around adults a lot ( being an only child) and is tall for his age ( a gene from both sides of the family ) but we want him to have a normal childhood mixing with boys and girls his own age etc. He isnt as grown up as he may look.

We are considering home schooling but we are also looking at other school options - independent sector. He will be entering in year 1.

We are not sure what to look for when we visit. Any tips would be welcome.

Thanks

Your sons previous school does sound shocking. For a teacher, though, I find it remarkable how little research you did into your own child's education.

Fivecandles - you are a persistent little blighter arent you?

Yes, I agree we didnt do enough research. There are very few none state schools around us. I work 40 mins drive away. A long day and early start for a little boy. Most other pre prep and preps are at least the same distance away.

We werent aware of the Christian School ( which is an odd set up because it is run by a Church , is not LA and was set up because of parents not liking the local provision and not having other school choices it seems ( that was back in 1989).

We live outside the village and so are quite isolated in many ways. We spoke to people who told us of the local school ( they said local - we didnt realise there were two and the one they meant was not the one in our village). We are not in that schools catchment and it is oversubscribed anyway - because a lot of parents from ours and another village put their children in it after the issues at the local school.

The Ofsted was OK , so we thought that was fine ( as I said about face!). As it happens the ofsted was done before the intake changed. We were unaware. Thats as simple as it was.

We made one mistake, we learned, we wont make another.

You are a teacher (?)

I would have thought you would have known more about schools than you seem to. But like you say, you have made a mistake and won't do so again - you hope. But how can you be sure? What if the fantastic prep has a naughty boy or two who make it not quite so perfect?

At the moment, your son is a 'little boy' - there are plenty of August born children at school btw, yours isn't the only one. He won't be a little, precious petal for ever though. Get a grip and just go a choose a school without winding every one up with your ridiculous and persistently contradictory posts.

You and your DW have your own priorities, probably a lot different to most. So deal with it and stop harping on about your (obviously) highly intelligent, bright and gifted, wonderful son as though those of us who choose to use after school clubs don't consider our dc's to be precious or any less loved than yours.

Like I said - PFB!

No constructive comments I'm afraid, in my opinion you no longer deserve them.

Fivecandles - I agree with everything you have said, I just can't be bothered to say it all when it is so blatantly ignored!

Well if you want somewhere when he turns 5, isn't that this September , ie when there will are unlikley to be places now ? Have you even visited the "Christian ethos" school yet as it seems unclear if that is even a viable option in terms of satisfying your requirements or having a place for him. For someone actively invovled in education you come across as naive in being so prepared to rely on hearsay yet be dismissive of inspection reports. I'd also check its funding and finances before committing - I know of one such and it is struggling to maintain numbers and be viable. And agree you can have disruptive behaviour at whatever type of school, even among those with no SEN. btw dd is an August b'day and is academically ahead of many of her peers, but less secure socially - would not have agreed to her moving ahead and at her prep she is by no means alone at working above her age.

Where have his friends from nursery gone? I visited our local state and prep schools but could tell you about another half dozen schools that I didn't visit but have friends with dcs there. Also I would have thought nursery would have given you guidance on the appropriate school for your Ds, at least that is what ours did (and the local state nursery does the same).

Well if you want somewhere when he turns 5, isn't that this September , ie when there will are unlikley to be places now ?

Yes we know its late. I ( we) are visiting the Christian ethos school on Tuesday. I am not at all sure its right for us. But then neither is the village school. This is faboured by my DW because of proximity.

I may be a teacher ( or maybe its because I am a teacher) but I have fairly firm ideas about what I want for my own child. They arent what you find in many schools these days.
The senior school I work in is a fantastic place and I would recommend it to anyone. I will in due course even consider it for DS . In fact I havent considered anything else.

But prep is different. The feeder prep to my school want to put DS in year 2 despite his age. I have an offer from another prep to put him into year 2 also based on his ability. Both have small classes and excellent teachers and good facilities and I could go on but they will be pressing him. He is scholarship material for them.

We want him to have a few years without those cares. I want a very different experience for my DS to that which I received and my DW received. There are many things I do not like about the education system in this country. But its the way it is.

Thank you for your time and comments. I will bear them all in mind when I visit and make my decision . Thank you for your replies.

Mollie - we didnt send DS to nursery.

I assume the schools want to put him in yr 2 because they've assessed him. If they are assessing at that age then they are academically selective and all that goes with that term. If you don't want this for your Ds then I don't understand why you've gone down this route. You'd be better off choosing a non-selective pre-prep which wouldn't have any assessments but would differentiate work based on ability.

Imo it is a bit of a cop out to move a child out of it's peer group. Social development is as important as academics and a bright child can stay within the year group if the teaching staff are prepared to put the work in.

Yes, LIZS, it does seem to add to the sense that the OP is a mass of contradictions:

*he is a teacher but appears to know little about how schools work;
*the decision about which school he chooses seems to be hugely important yet he has left it until May to start looking for a school for September (and didn't do any proper research when his son actually started school last year);
*he doesn't want his son to be pressured yet he is looking at indepedent schools;
*he comes on Mumsnet asking what other parents would look for in a school but considers some responses 'interfering' and is downright rude and dismissive about others;
*he is obviously concerned about his son's education and yet doesn't feel that teachers should be passionate about their work or devote any time to their students that isn't paid for;
*he doesn't want his son disrupted by pupils with God forbid EBD or SEN but he is prepared to disrupt his son's education himself by switching schooling 4 times before he even makes the transition to secondary;
*One of the strangest things of all is that Jabed seems to have precisely ONE school left as an option for his son and yet he asks a bunch of random people on Mumsnet what they would look for in a school before actually visiting this school.

Good luck to Jabed, his son and his son's poor, poor teachers!

No nursery? That might explain why your Ds struggled in reception if he wasn't used to spending time away from his parents. Even more reason to try and get him into school before the start of yr 1. At ds's school there was a big step up from reception and that will bs harder for a child who isn't used to being in a school environment.

be not bs

fivecandles not all independent schools are pressured environments. Ds's is non-selective and definitely isn't (and some parents have complained because it isn't!). I do think schools that assess at 4 are pressured and wouldn't be my choice as they tend to have culls at 7 and 11.

So, you're now saying you've visited 2 prep schools that both want to put him up a year. You haven't mentioned this before have you? Surely, you could just tell them that you don't want him to be moved up a year!! I'd be surprised if any schools insist on this when he is 4 years old!!!! I thought your son couldn't go to your own school's prep because there wasn't a place for him! It's getting difficult to trust what you're saying, Jabed.

Imo it is a bit of a cop out to move a child out of it's peer group. Social development is as important as academics and a bright child can stay within the year group if the teaching staff are prepared to put the work in.

I agree which is why we didnt do it.
Its one reason we chose the local village school ( OK - mistake).

We cannot put DS in year 1 in either prep because there is no room. The prep is over subscribed in both reception and year 1. Year 2 was their offer because he has the ability and both are keen to take him.

I accept that MollieO but Jabed is saying that the schools he's visited want to put him up a year (presumably based on assessments of him) which mean they clearly ARE pressured.

Private schools can be prone to flatter jabed, the little fellow isn't yet five!

My eldest three all got the largest scholarships available into Y7 at the most academic of the local indies but they were by no means the most talented when they went instead to the grammar. I take these offers with a pinch of salt. It's like being labelled G&T. The threshold can be really quite low.

Your insistence that you have a budding Einstein is clearly very much on your mind and that will put pressure on your son. Particularly if he remains an only child. Sounds like he needs a place to have fun with his peers more than anything else. That's probably his best chance for happiness/ success.

Just seen the post about the school being full in Y1. Watch out!

I ought to add, there are several other preps possible but a little further away. I havent looked at them yet.

I could try for another state school but research is now telling me they are much of the same if they have places. hence it has to be prep now.

I do accept Mollie that it was an unusual decision to not put him in nursery. We are a bit alternative in our life choices sometimes. As I said, we had firm ideas about what we didnt like about the education system here.

So, Jabed, to clarify, you son has been to one school (state village school) that didn't work out, been assessed by 2 others (preps) which don't work because they would both push him up a year and has one option left: the Christian school that you also have doubts about?

Yellowstone - where did I say DS was a budding Einstein? I said he was intelligent and I said he was bright. I never said he was designated G&T either.

He was but as you say, in our local school, that meant nothing with a high SEN ( MLD) intake.

I said he was intelligent because he is. It doesnt take brain of Britain to see it either. Thats one of the reasons we have been careful to try and protect him from pressures of schools.

As I said we have several options. I only mention those which we have thus far explored. I want info for those we are yet to explore.

If this is the case, you've already seriously looked into 3 schools. How odd then, that you should be drawing up your list of what to look for in a school now when you've already exhausted 3 schools and have only 1 option left.

"he has to go to school, that is the law of this land. We need to find a school for that." Actually he doesn't , you could home ed ad infinitum

Sorry, no child is definite "scholarship material" at aged 4 !

tbh I don't think any school will live up to your current expectations. You are sitting yourselves and ds up for disappointment.

So, Jabed, to clarify, you son has been to one school (state village school) that didn't work out, been assessed by 2 others (preps) which don't work because they would both push him up a year and has one option left: the Christian school that you also have doubts about?

No, not exactly.

Thanks

No, you're right jabed I mentioned Einstein not you, but you do give the impression that he's pretty much in a class of his own (no pun intended).

I've got bright kids too but unless they're off the scale and about to solve the enegy crisis they really don't need to be cocooned. If they're seriously bright they'll probably lap up the challenge in a 'pressurized' school. And they'll probably just rise to the top and enjoy kicking around and doing all the more normal stuff in a 'non-pressurized' school.

My dad (who was immensely bright) always advised me not to think too much. I took his advice and it's worked. You seem to be over-doing that here.

Jabed you clearly love your son but I'm not sure that what you are searching for and want for him actually exists. Home Education would be a solution but I wonder would he have opportunities for social interaction with children around his own age as this would be my concern if I decided to take such a route with my own children.

That's sort of what I was thinking LIZS. Unless any of these other prep school (which are too far afield?) prove to be an option it's surely a question of either accepting the Christian school or continuing to home ed? It's way too late to be starting to think about what you want in a school given that as Jabed recognizes the good ones are full by now (and presumably the good state schools will have been full a year ago with a waiting list in case pupils leave). The question you should be asking at this late stage is surely will my ds be happy in this particular Christian school rather than what is the ideal school for my ds?