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Original poster

4yr Olds to sign contracts - Anyone else disagree?

122 replies

Chiccadum · 23/09/2003 13:27

My eldest has just started school and is in the foundation stage.

She came home with a letter the other day stating that both myself and her HAVE to sign it.

It basically says that she has not to run in school, talk quietly, not damage school property, be helpful and kind, all the things that I have taught her way before school was even thought of.

Is it just me or does anyone else think that it is inappropriate for a child of 4 to have to sign something when they can't read and really understand what they are signing and also when they can't even sign their own name.

Does anyone elses school do this as my daughters school says they have to be signed by law.

OP posts:
Frenchgirl · 23/09/2003 13:35

My dd who's 4 has just started school too, but we haven't had anything like this contract rubbish! It is utterly ridiculous at this age. In dd's classroom, they have a board with a smiley face on one side and a sad face on the other: the kids names are up there, and go to the sad face bit if they do something naughty, and so far, it seems to be working very well!!

whymummy · 23/09/2003 13:37

i've never heard of it either chiccadum

codswallop · 23/09/2003 13:44

they are not legally binding but there to remind parents of their obligations

we had them , I dont mind at all

Original poster
Chiccadum · 23/09/2003 13:44

Hmmmm starting to wonder whether it is just the headmistress. Can you believe the other day dd1 sat down to eat her snack, it was a chunk of cheese. The headmistress came and took it off her and said she couldn't have it as it was not fruit or vegetables. Hence my daughter was made to sit there with all her friends who were eating and have nothing, I was absolutely livid and went straight in to see her, no dabout I will be called in again soon to see the headmistress about dd1 not signing this form.

OP posts:
Jimjams · 23/09/2003 13:44

This is a new government initiative- home-school agreements. Our school sent them home and parents are asked to read them and sign them, and if they feel their child understands to encourage them to sign them. The children do not have to sign them though. Well DS is non-verbal so he hasn't signed it. I think it comes under the heading "nanny state"

codswallop · 23/09/2003 13:46

I explained to my ds what it was about and he understood - are you sure that this is all you are annoyed about? seems mountain and molehill

whymummy · 23/09/2003 13:49

ciccadum she sounds like a right old cow!!

Slinky · 23/09/2003 13:52

We have them at our school, and both my DD1/DS1 and myself/DH signed them.

They are called "Home-School Agreements" and as Codswallop says, they are basically more for reminding both the parents and the teachers of their obligations towards the children's education.

Our Agreements are laid out with items that us parents expect the school to fulfil - and items that the school expect the parents to carry out, ie ensure children attend school, on time, etc etc.

It was optional for my children to sign them (but mine wanted to! - after I explained what the Agreement said).

doormat · 23/09/2003 13:53

ciccadum my son had to sign one last term, he is 9.I thought it was because he is naughty but it is for all children apparently.
I think it is a load of elephant scrotums.

whymummy · 23/09/2003 13:55

if i was you i'll go back and stick a whole edam up her bum!!!

your poor little dd

Mummysurfer · 23/09/2003 13:59

We have a home-school agreement and I don't have a problem with it. The parents are signing to say they will help support their child whilst they attend the school, making sure they arrive on time, ensuring children have PE kit etc. Pretty normal stuff. The children are "signing" to say they will try and keep the school rules. Basically not too much to ask for on either side!

Interesting article in the Review section of the Times on Sunday - meant for transition from primary to secondary. Principle was if you want your child to be happy in school don't be critical of the school in front of them. How can you expect your children to like and enjoy their school if you don't. It certainly struck a chord with me, I'll keep my moans out of offsprings earshot. Altho' have to say my moans are minor.

Jimjams · 23/09/2003 14:08

Chiccadum- the fruit thing is from whitehall as well. Government initiative. Has to be fruit at break time (with water or juice). Luckily ds1 eats apples as there's no exceptions for autistic kids either.

sis · 23/09/2003 14:14

We were asked to sign an agreement but ds who is four years old was not asked nor expected to sign it.

berries · 23/09/2003 14:14

Chiccadum, we have them as well, but ours also include a section on what the school promises to do as well. this seems more of a 2-way thing to me, and I quite like it. I went through it with both my kids, and they liked knowing that the school rules were for everyone, ie if they follow them, so will teachers and parents.
BTW I think the no cheese rule is absurd. Our school encourages healthy snacks, and children are encouraged to bring fruit or cheese etc but they ultimately leave it up to the parents/child as they believe it is something a child has to learn (ie to pick healthy options where possible).

Frenchgirl · 23/09/2003 14:18

I think the contract idea is incredibly patronising, I don't need to be reminded to take dd to school on time, etc etc, and I don't need to be told that I have to explain to her to be good in school. What next? A contract promising to look after your child as you're giving birth? I think the money spent on this should be spent on better things that might get the kids more interested in school. Grrrrrrr

Blu · 23/09/2003 14:23

Personally, I would be more upset over the insensitivity of the cheese thing than the agreement. I think it's quite nice for children to have the chance to feel responsible...it gives them power, in being invited to agree to do something rather than being told to do it. But I do think it's insensitive to expose a young child like that, and outrageous to leave her with no snack, especially when what she was eating was healthy. I would tend to approach it delicately with this overbearing head...I'd probably ask if there was some misunderstanding, and say I was sorry that it had been necessary to upset DD. I wouldn't want my little one to be caught in the centre of a parent-teacher war!

codswallop · 23/09/2003 14:23

But frenchgirl I am afraid youa re in a minority - the anount of people who do not do as you and I do - for example those who take holidays on term times....

Slinky · 23/09/2003 14:29

Frenchgirl

By reading these threads, we are in a minority - there are plenty of parents out there who couldn't be a*ed to provide their children with an education or even give them a half-decent meal!

There are parents out there who view their children as an inconvenience who need a good kick up the backside and be reminded of their obligations towards their childrens education.

I don't feel patronised at all by these contracts - school/home should be a 2-way process.

codswallop · 23/09/2003 14:29

hoorah the Slinkstress

Original poster
Chiccadum · 23/09/2003 14:45

Codswallop, what about these people who take children on holiday in term time? Some people like myself have NO CHOICE, it is either holiday during term time or no holiday at all

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 23/09/2003 14:47

We had one of these too. I didn't have a problem with it at all. They're signing something which basically boils down to agreeing to be considerate towards others - if you've explained to to them, what's wrong with that? It sets out clearly what is expected of them (and us).

If they were signing something I disagreed with, I wouldn't have signed it myself let alone asked DS1 to do it.

WSM · 23/09/2003 14:50

Same here re the holidays during term time Chiccadum.

donnie · 23/09/2003 14:52

these agreements are also a form of proof and evidence of parents' acceptance of school rules; increasingly ( more in secondary thay infants/primary school) parents refuse to back up the school in implementation of basic rules, and if it ain't in writing with signatures, it won't stick !believe me I know, having had to deal with parents who utterly refuse the authority and guidelines of the school. Everything has to be formally recorded and signed now, it's all become so bloody legal and long winded.Don't want to sound scary though !!!! on a positive note - long live cheese and fruit !!!!!!

donnie · 23/09/2003 14:55

btw chiccadum - not having a go - but whenever kids in my classes have gone on holiday in term time I am asked to set work and then mark it; this is in my own time and I don't get paid for it.Is this fair ? I understand the financial issue and I don't think it's such a big deal for younger kids, but what about older kids?

Frenchgirl · 23/09/2003 15:02

I am just very sceptical as too how efficient these agreements are: people who don't mind signing them are probably people who are already responsible towards their children's education. Do you really think people who don't care about their kids will take any notice, on a day to day basis, of what they have agreed to, and change their ways? I do agree with the healthy snacks policy though, but don't agree with the extreme way in which it was implemented by the loony headmistress.

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