Paying fees on VERY moderate income, how can it be done?

[Onthesedgeofoureats]

Dd has been accepted at the Prep I have wanted her to go to from being born, and I am over the moon, as I thought it was a pipe dream. I have no real idea why I entered her, as I knew it was a pipe dream until we start earning properly. It is a selective academic, and she totally fell in love with it. Even the school admitted it seemed like the perfect fit for her. She was a high scorer on the entrance exam, and the school seem as delighted as we are.

However, both dp and I are still studying for the next two years, so have a combined income of £1,500 a month, which is lovely, but not enough as the fees are £1100 a month. We have some equity in the house, but cannot realise it through re-mortgaging as we have hit our max allowed, and have the "cheapest" house available within 15 miles, so would have to move a long way away to downsize, which we can't do as dp needs to be near his lab. We're not going to get a bursary are we? I know I'm trying to have my cake and eat it, and that we are going to have to turn down the place, but I was just wondering how people on incomes like ours did jiggery pokery to try and manage the fees. Straws, clutching, etc.

Any input gratefully received.

If your income is as you say it is then you must have known when you entered her that you couldn't afford it absent a bursary. Does the school offer them? Have you applied/will you be applying for one of those?

Seems to me that either she gets a bursary or you sell up and downsize.

I don't see how you could cover mortgage, bills and food on £400 you would have left each month.

If the school offered bursaries, presumably you'd have applied in parallel to the application for a place for your DD (IIRC, that's how it's often/usually done). So does this mean a bursary is not available?

State schools are full of bright kids whose parents cannot afford to send them to private school.

How do you know you are not going to get a bursary? Have you applied?

Other than that, and barring help from grandparents or others, I don't honestly think it can be done.

Thank goodness!

PS.

"I have no real idea why I entered her, as I knew it was a pipe dream until we start earning properly."

I don't know all the facts of course, and I may be speaking out of turn, but it seems to me you should have thought this all through much more carefully before getting your DD's hopes up.

Have you asked if she might be elligible for a bursary? You won't know until you do, and the sooner you ask the better her chances.

Can you get an additional job?

If both studying can one of you defer your studies for two years and get a better paid job?

Can you ask family to contribute for a limited period?

Do you have an endowment or other investments that you could cash in?

Can you sell your house and rent?

Can you convert to interest only mortage?

Can you take in lodgers?

It depends how much you want it and what you are willing to sacrifice. Were you hoping they would offer a massive scholarship without you having to ask?

£13k is a lot for prep school! Is that correct?

We applied for a bursary before she sat the entrance exam, at the head's insistence, but he didn't say if the house would be a contributing factor. I know I'm stupid for not realising that, but as we can't move or re-mortgage I didn't think about it (thicko emoticon).

She is at a sweet little state school, I am not state bashing at all. I just wondered if there were any parents with kids at an Indy who are in the same situation. Everyone wants the best for their children, and the best way to get that is to explore all avenues.

When will you hear from the school about the bursary?

I really think you should have thoroughly explored the likelihood of you being able to afford a place for her before getting this far into the process. Presumably now your DD thinks she is going whereas it seems very unlikely you can afford it.

If thats your income then if bursaries are available then apply. Phone the school and explain your situation they may be sympathetic but academic selective ones tend to be less so as they can fill their places easily.

One of you gives up studying and gets a well paid job seems the best solution.

So have you heard from the school about a bursary? Have you been turned down for a bursary? Have the school given you reasons?

TBH I don't have much sympathy. I don't agree with private schools- yes most parents do want the best for their children so I don't agree with wealthy parents being able to buy their child an advantage in something as important as education. Without a bursary, if you can't afford the fees your daughter can't go. There are lots of bright children in the state sector whose parents can't afford private education either.

If you filled in your bursary form properly I would personally say you have a reasonable chance - but it depends entirely on how many applicants vs. how much funding the head has.

Have they told you when they will let you know - they must realise that whether or not you can accept the place depends on the result.

If she's passed the selective exam, then I assume her "sweet little state school" is doing a terrific job and brought her to the same standards as the private school? If so, why move?

It's £12.5k, it is a lot!

We're in a 2 bed, so lodgers aren't an option, but you have given me some good avenues to explore Gypsy, thank you. I think we're going to have to stay state, but I always like to give things a try! And if I don't have to get a night job I can put in the extra with dd, and still be able to go camping once a year!

I have a very bright dc too but can't afford independant education. What you have to do is the same as the rest of us which is to send them to the local state school. People don't only send their children to state schools because they're not bright enough to go to private ones. It's hard to swallow I know.

She has been abroad for a year, so I've done a lot of work at home with her, she has only been at the state 2 weeks. I thought we would find out about the bursary at the same time as the entrance exam result, and as it said "full fee paying place" I took it we didn't get it, but dp just admitted he didn't read the whole letter to me (I'm away at the mo). They inform us tomorrow. They have given us a month to accept the place, so there isn't a huge rush. Giving up studying isn't an option, as I need to finish to be able to get a job in the field, and dp is doing a PhD, so we're not doing them as sidelines.

Dd doesn't know if she got in or not, we simply told her she was going along for the morning to see if the school was right for her, as we needed to see whether it was a fundable possibility.

It is hard to swallow, I'll admit. But ho hum, life can be . She'll probably go on to be a blanket weaver or something anyway, so all that preciously scrimped money would have been wasted .

Financial committees who decide bursaries usually sit after places have been allocated, and they will review all those who applied and who have been awarded places. Typically, they will cosider how how each child performed, the family circumstances, and the size of the bursary pot available for that year; then decide their recommendations for who will be offered assistance, and how much.

As you thought hope had gone, perhaps try St Jude? (Apologies in advance if that's not a possibility for you).

We pay around £1200 a month in fees out of an income of about £3k and it kills us.
The uniform will be about £500 and then there are the birthday parties, one a week through reception I found £20 per present is the norm. Plus you will want a life too no matter what you try and tell yourself.
Wait until you do start work to send her, it won't be the end of the world if she starts in junior school.
DD3 in Yr 2 has a shit teacher this year it's upsetting to be paying for it, only the fact that I know next year will be better keeps me going.

Have you heard the expression "cut your coat according to your cloth"?

If its 12.5k at prep level (I presume age 7?)have you considered how much higher the fees will be when she moves to senior school ?

The fees stay the same throughout, from Y3 to GCSE, and then go up by a grand in 6th form. I have no idea why they do it like that, but they do!

I do have a small question to all the vipers and viperettes Why do you all get so rude? To get a rise from me probably .

I like state schools, I went to one, dp went to one, I am simply sounding out possibilities as we have been out of the UK schooling system, and this school said we may be a possible bursary candidate. Next time you move a 6 year old to a new country, new educational system and stick them into a class of 32 with no help and a band of boys beating her senseless in the playground I'll see what you guys choose to do with interest.

Onadifferentplant: when they have both finished their degrees/postgrads, their financial situation may look completely different.

Onthesedgeofoureats: that is also your ray of hope. Even if you have to turn down the place now, if you stay on good terms with the school, it may be ppossile to transfer her their in a couple of years.

Sorry OP but instead of trying for an entrance exam for a school we couldn't afford, I would be complaining at the state school and/or looking at other schools we could afford to move them to. We have a good income, has been higher, and no mortgage now, but we still couldn't afford private education for our kids. (And in someways I'd prefer to save for University for them, and maybe Tutors if we need them.)