Paying fees on VERY moderate income, how can it be done?

[Onthesedgeofoureats]

Dd has been accepted at the Prep I have wanted her to go to from being born, and I am over the moon, as I thought it was a pipe dream. I have no real idea why I entered her, as I knew it was a pipe dream until we start earning properly. It is a selective academic, and she totally fell in love with it. Even the school admitted it seemed like the perfect fit for her. She was a high scorer on the entrance exam, and the school seem as delighted as we are.

However, both dp and I are still studying for the next two years, so have a combined income of £1,500 a month, which is lovely, but not enough as the fees are £1100 a month. We have some equity in the house, but cannot realise it through re-mortgaging as we have hit our max allowed, and have the "cheapest" house available within 15 miles, so would have to move a long way away to downsize, which we can't do as dp needs to be near his lab. We're not going to get a bursary are we? I know I'm trying to have my cake and eat it, and that we are going to have to turn down the place, but I was just wondering how people on incomes like ours did jiggery pokery to try and manage the fees. Straws, clutching, etc.

Any input gratefully received.

She asked for opinions. I haven't seen any bashing.

The only way I can see you can achieve this is by selling your house and renting. However, I agree with other posters that it would have been sensible to work through the financial side of this before getting your child's hopes up.

"I was simply wondering if people bringing the same amount in as us had children at Indy's without bursaries, and if they did how they did it." OP I left a response earlier, but didn't give any real advice on this point. One of the things we did was stooze a huge amount of money on credit cards and hold it against our offset mortgage. It saved us about £20k in interest over a few years - enough to pay most of the school fees for that time. If you are even halfway clever with money there are lots of ways, like this, of affording it.

I find it shocking that anyone would advise using credit card debt to pay school fees, especially as the local state school is so "sweet". Not everyone is so clever with money and it could spell a recipe for disaster.

I think you need to wake up and live in the real world. Neither of you work, you dont want to move and release equity, you havent saved despite knowing this is something you wanted yet expect to get what you want anyway.

Why on earth would you show a school to a child that you had no way of affording? Madness.

Would you be shocked to hear people put take aways on their credit cards, because they do and unless they are clearing the balance every month that's one expensive meal, education seems a reasonable purchase in comparison.

um a takeaway costs about 30 quid rather than 12 thousand a year.

You know what I'm saying, I've worked for debt collections companies and the crap people waste a lot more than £12k on you wouldn't believe, really you wouldn't believe it, William Hill and Ladbrokes came up on statements a lot.

For sure, but this is not a good idea either. It may be a more worthy expenditure but if they can't afford it getting into debt for it would be ill advised.

I disagree, education is probably the only thing worth going into debt for, they are going to be highly paid professionals one day, what they don't have on their side is time.
It's not the end of the world if the child starts at junior school but if they are very nearly there financially nothing wrong with spending money you are pretty sure you can pay back on your child, better than pissing it up the wall as so many people do.

I don't think anybody has a guarantee that they are going to be a highly paid professional.

The research all shows, though, that private school pupils are hugely over represented in the highest paid jobs.

Yes, we can all bang out anecdotes of Eton educated drug addicts...but the stark fact remains.

I absolutely adore DC's schools. Best money I have ever spent.

But how far would I go to carry on if money were an issue? I really can't say.
Worth getting into debt for? Gosh, that would be very hard.

Then again, I often take on debt for investments/business ops...could I justify school as an investment?

Dunno. Would depend on the alternative.

Its not really a surprise that the children of higly paid professionals are more likely to grow up to be highly paid professionals.

Also, to be fair Litchick, you do have the money. The OP does not.

You couldn't justify to fund all the way through by credit card or loans but the first year or so is perfectly reasonable.
I wasn't working at all when our three started private school but I knew that wouldn't be the case long term and it was a case of now or never, you can't buy back these years.
Of course there are no guarantees in life, you could get hit by a bus and then what good is your money to you.

My parents had a very very low income, but my brother went to a grammar school as my sister had just started working and paid his fees. It was a struggle, but the things you don't consider is it is more than fees - there's uniform costs, sports kit, musical instruments, clubs fees and when all the other children are off skiing or to the bahamas in the holidays how will it make your DD feel? My brother did well and went onto to Cambridge so from and educational perspective it worked really well, but he did feel a bit like a poor relation at school.

It's a shame when you find somewhere you really feel your child would fit in, but can't afford it- it seems so unfair.

Many of the indy schools here do scolarship schemes at 7yrs and 11yrs for bright children - they look for all rounders also, so perhaps use some of the money you would spend on fees to get her playing a sport or instrument to help develop her in other areas.

My parents had a very very low income, but my brother went to a grammar school as my sister had just started working and paid his fees. It was a struggle, but the things you don't consider is it is more than fees - there's uniform costs, sports kit, musical instruments, clubs fees and when all the other children are off skiing or to the bahamas in the holidays how will it make your DD feel? My brother did well and went onto to Cambridge so from and educational perspective it worked really well, but he did feel a bit like a poor relation at school.

It's a shame when you find somewhere you really feel your child would fit in, but can't afford it- it seems so unfair.

Many of the indy schools here do scolarship schemes at 7yrs and 11yrs for bright children - they look for all rounders also, so perhaps use some of the money you would spend on fees to get her playing a sport or instrument to help develop her in other areas.

We tried and failed. DD is 6...she is leaving her Prep in three weeks to begin at a very nice state school.

We had a bursry too...half fees. On our income of 4,000 per month we couldn't do it...not with debts, overheads and another DD who is only growing older.

THe stress and pressure is huge...we couldn't d holidays never mind all the extra classes DDs friends did...she was coming home sking why we never went skiing.

It's not fair on her...we're saving for secondary....

Tangled - agreed.
But I do often ask myself given how absurdly enamoured by my DCs schools, just how far I would go?

wimple - sorry to hear that.
But now the decision is made, be kind to yourself. It does no good to worry about what simply can't be.

Absolutely, Litchick I expect lots of people feel the same way. However, I would like to point out that I am "absurdly enamoured" by my childrens state school. The parents/kids/teachers are lovely.

Wimple I wish you every happiness.

UQD you need to back off - if you don't agree, walk away

OP - any decision from the bursar?

For those saying that you should find out whether you can get a bursary before "getting your child's hopes up" - it's not possible - the two processes are deeply entangled, in most cases, and you need to go through the admissions process (which obviously involves the child) in order to go through the bursary application process.

It's not going to scar them for life - I went through entrance exams for several schools which my parents could only have afforded with major scholarships and can't say I resent that at all. DBs and I all had scholarships - and help from grandparents - and no holidays/ ski trips / etc - and probably debt at some stages, although we weren't aware of that - and yet we all benefited hugely from our education and the opportunities it gave us.

at all private school children going skiing and to the Bahamas. There's a real mix at both my children's prep schools. There are the skiing ones, but there are also the ones who are lucky with a week in a caravan on the east coast. We fall into the east coast caravan category in a good year, and I have no sense at all that my children are 'poor relations'. Uniform can be bought cheaply second hand. Some school fees cover trips, so don't assume they are extras. Clubs are optional. My children are allowed one paid-for activity per week each, in addition to school fees. DD does football, which is £3 per session. Private school is expensive, but don't make assumptions about them all being the same.

UQD did walk away, ages ago

I can assure that I have never been skiing in my life. Nor have my children.

The thought of the snow and those unflattering outfits makes me shudder.

"There's a real mix at both my children's prep schools. "

There isn't, you know!