Paying fees on VERY moderate income, how can it be done?

[Onthesedgeofoureats]

Dd has been accepted at the Prep I have wanted her to go to from being born, and I am over the moon, as I thought it was a pipe dream. I have no real idea why I entered her, as I knew it was a pipe dream until we start earning properly. It is a selective academic, and she totally fell in love with it. Even the school admitted it seemed like the perfect fit for her. She was a high scorer on the entrance exam, and the school seem as delighted as we are.

However, both dp and I are still studying for the next two years, so have a combined income of £1,500 a month, which is lovely, but not enough as the fees are £1100 a month. We have some equity in the house, but cannot realise it through re-mortgaging as we have hit our max allowed, and have the "cheapest" house available within 15 miles, so would have to move a long way away to downsize, which we can't do as dp needs to be near his lab. We're not going to get a bursary are we? I know I'm trying to have my cake and eat it, and that we are going to have to turn down the place, but I was just wondering how people on incomes like ours did jiggery pokery to try and manage the fees. Straws, clutching, etc.

Any input gratefully received.

Can you imagine all the Mums and Dads fancying that they can get the 'best deal'.

I expect that they would then brag about it and honestly, the most popular private schools with waiting lists just dont need to do this. Also, the head of my DS's prep school said once to me to remember that in the South East there are plenty of people who can afford the fees (!) and of course there are the rich Russians and people from the Far East who very much admire our private education who will pay the full fees to send their childre to our schools.

Ask for a busary and see whether you qualify. Get it in quick. If the school is popular the pot might well run out sooner rather than later. If this is a school with a healthy waiting list then I fear there will be no chance of getting in unless through the scholarship or bursary route.

Of course nothing is forever, once you finish your studies you can always apply again.

oh yes, lots of people can afford the fees, but to get the best educational mix the schools need to keep attainment high and that is why bright kids have a trading card that compares well with 'money'.

They are trying to run a business and have wages and overheads to pay. They may have some allowances for one or two kids but if they are having a tough year with inflation-boosting costs, you can appreciate they cannot do it for the sake of the children already there. One of the schools near us went bust. Very upsetting for the kids that then had to find somewhere else.

Thank you for sticking with me heroine, am not very good at yelling back!

Bursary application went in before the exam.

Re. whether I can afford the full fees on income alone, I know I can't. I can do basic maths! I was simply wondering if people bringing the same amount in as us had children at Indy's without bursaries, and if they did how they did it. Have had some fab answers, will go and see the bursar next week, and will be around next year for anyone in the same situation with advice.

Or you could leave her at the|"sweet little sdtate school" - I'm sure they will be soo grateful...

I know a lot of people that have applied to Private schools this year. Many of them "can't afford it" but have an income too high to qualify for bursaries. They all plan to re negotiate fees once their children are establised. If too many people do this either they or the schools will have a problem. I know this is not what the OP was talking about. However, I think it is interesting. I have lived here for many years and have never noticed this before.

Tangled: unless they are all in one or two schools (and they're happy to risk bankrupting them or wrecking the level of education provided) then I think those people will be in for a nasty surprise.

Yes, thats what i was thinking onimolap

BTW at no point was I yelling. I would have used capitals for yelling

fully understand you wish to send your DD private.

I wish we could afford it for our DD (soon to be DCs as pregnant again).

DH earns £200k+ but we have a fair sized mortgage and as I am pregnant again it will be a while before I will work again, then we have to consider our outgoing plus issues like private pension contributions etc. We're in the slightly older parents bracket (DH 40 and me late 30s) so cannot afford to ignore pension and paying off mortgage as we've only got 20/25 years of working left.

I worked out by asking those I know who are sending their DC private that by the time they are ready for secondary, the fees alone with be around £16k for each child and you need add 25% to that to cover all the extras.

So concluded that to put 2 DCs (assuming we're not having any more after this one), would cost around £40k per year.

This means we'd need additional earning of £80k per year (before tax) to pay for schooling.

It is shockingly expensive.

We could in theory afford to send both now by cutting out holidays, going onto an interest only mortgage and not making much in the way of pension contributions.

However that would be financial madness.

I was privately educated. My parents really couldn't afford it and the enormous burden of knowing I "had to do well" was crushing. Plus the stress within the home of trying to make ends meet. My sister was also privately educated however she dropped out before doing her exams and frankly hasn't held down a job for more than a few months at a time (too much partying etc). So all that money spent did go to waste in a sense.

If and when I go back to work we could easily look at paying for secondary school perhaps. But until then we're looking to move to an area with top state schools.

And as many other on here are saying, just because you pay for it, doesn't mean you DCs will not drop out, get into trouble with the law, become drug addicts etc etc.

I fully understand why you wish to do this but do not stick you head in the sand with regards to cost!

As skandi has so eloquently said, its not just the fees, its the extras.

Uniform, trips, pe kit and equipment etc etc

As she also points out, a private education does not guarantee happiness/good career prospects. I know several people who went to private school and they are either; unemployed, in low paid manual work or on benefits due to drug and alcohol problems.

Why not leave her at the "sweet state primary" for now????

Perhaps in the future when you and your dh have finished your studies things might be more feasible??? Would it matter if she started at, say 12/13???

Yes, well put skandi. It is also no guarantee of day to day happiness either. I know plenty of teens that are privately educated and are very unhappy at school. They come to my house and moan to my dd about it.

Jjust a thought, but would your dd's grandparents consider funding the place or would you feel able to ask if they might offer something by way of contribution if you think the school really is worth it. Lots of grandparents are funding or part funding children at our school.

I think I would rather cut my own arm off without anaesthetic than ask my parents for help with school fees.

That's incredibly expensive. Are you sure it's not £1100 per term? This would be £3300 per year.

Glastocat - I went to a private school on a bursary and when Dad lost his job the school paid all fees for 2 years. I had a great time - my school was a London day school, not at all snobby and with children from a variety of backgrounds - parents were everything from doctors and lawyers, MPs and journalists to music teachers, casino croupiers, dinner ladies and plumbers with many other jolly stereotypes represented. Only a couple of people were really rich, most had parents who went without a lot to pay (we weren't poor but it wasn't easy for most parents either). In my case we had no overseas holidays, no car, no TV etc. Not all private schools are rife with snobbery. No one gave a toss about how my fees were paid or though it was odd I never went on school trips.

The view where we live is to send dcs to prep rather than secondary and hope that they get into grammar. The reality is some do go to grammar and others go on to the senior private secondary school (70% from ds's prep). Lots of peer pressure to stay with friends.

Ds is at prep but I'd have to have significant pay increase or a medium sized win on the lottery to contemplate maintaining that for secondary. At the moment I can afford prep fees without any change in lifestyle (ie regular holidays, treats etc). The only things I would spend the school fees on are maybe a new car or paying down the mortgage more.

I also think it is very important as a parent not to have expectations of how your dcs will turn out having been privately educated, ie expecting them to go to uni etc.

I would add that if the local primaries did the same level of wraparound care as the prep ds would be at a state school.

So pleased the local state school is "sweet". That must be such a relief for all the plebs who must have been afraid it would be nasty.

Can we file under "Jesus Christ, different fucking world" yet?

Oh, behave. The OP can send her child where she wishes and hasn't come on here for an ear-bashing or yet another bloody private vs state debate.

People send their children to private schools for lots of different reasons.

dont forget that if you do mortgage yourself to the hilt trying to pay for private schools for your dd, you may end up living old age in relative poverty.

over the last 20 years school fees have gone up by seven hundred percent where as RPI (inflation) has risen by thirty percent.

it has become disproportionately expensive to educate privately. what would once have been within easy reach for many (most middle class professionals), is rapidly becoming a luxury only afforded by the super-rich.

Well said on all counts, belle.