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Original poster

have we ever had a boarding school debate on here? she pondered innocently

47 replies

Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 21:28

is there anyone that thinks they are a good idea under aged 10? 12? 14? that didn't go to one?

if so why? i'm not buying the 'learning to be independent' line, nor the 'i had really good fun' line.

this isn't about special needs and boarding schools i'm talking about 'NT' kids here.

genuinely interested as used to be vehemently anti but altho still not pro (still pretty anti in fact) am rather more open minded (about everything to do with anything to do with parenting) than i used to be.

also find myself fantisising about the fantastic travelling/going out that could be done were ds to go (has anyone noticed that people don't use the wink emoticon as much since you can't do it with a semi colon btw)

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 20/09/2005 21:35

I think ds has benefitted but falls short of some of your criteria..

Original poster
Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 21:37

what criteria? sorry am being thick no doubt

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Milliways · 20/09/2005 21:39

I knew a Boarding Headmaster who tries to get me to send DD to his school. He promised she could go on Monday am (or Sun night) & return Friday night with all homework done, music, dance classes etc done, for a whole weekend of family time. Great for working parents?

I respect & like him, the school is fab, but even IF I had the funds, couldn't do it!

JoolsToo · 20/09/2005 21:40

sorry I'm dead against (I'm sure you're not surprised) actually I think it's cruel and why you would want to send and under 10 away from home beggars belief!

hit me!

albosmum · 20/09/2005 21:41

I went to bs at 11 - i think i have fondish memories!
The plus points are always someone to play/talk too which is something ds1 does not have!

I also think that weekly boarding could be ideal for many working parents as an alternative to children being alone at home waiting for a parent to return form work

Rhubarb · 20/09/2005 21:42

My m-i-l went to one and she hated it, is now dead-set against them.

The way The Little Demon is going though, it's an idea worth considering! Do they take early bookings for Boot Camp does anyone know?

spidermama · 20/09/2005 21:42

I've only heard bad things about boarding schools from adults I know who went.

I haven't known very many though so I'm no expert.

My gut instinct says, 'No'.

Jimjams · 20/09/2005 21:43

depends onthe child as all these things do. I weekly boarded (Mon-Fri) from 9-14 and loved it. I was an only child, but quite sociable and I got to socialise. Maybe would have found it harder when I was older (less freedom than at home).

My cousin boarded recenty-0 changed a lot since my day. She was desperate to board- she'd lived in 4 countries and changed school 5 times by the time she was 13- she wanted stability. And blossomed when she did eventually board.

Original poster
Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 21:44

rhubarb. i have those moments and he is not even two yet!

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JoolsToo · 20/09/2005 21:45

everytime I hear 'Boarding school' I immediately think of the documentary on tv some years back. A little lad, waiting with tears welling up waiting for is late mummy to collect him for the holidays

I get quite upset thinking about the look on his little face.

crunchie · 20/09/2005 21:45

My brothers went to prep school at about 9 as day boys, this was fne. They then boarded from about 12. Prep school was fine and small, However they both hated senior boarding school. They were miserable. I went to boarding school at 16 and hated it, lasted 1 year. DH went to prep school at about 9, his mum proudly showed me where they had to stop every week on the way back to school for him to be sick!!! WTF did this not give her any idea how much he hated it!!

He then went to private day school until 6th form and then chose to board at 16 so he could do extra curricular stuff. We are now thinking of sending our dd's to his old schoolm BUT NOT TO BOARD UNLESS THEY WANT TO

Original poster
Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 21:45

home every weekend sounds good jimjams...but not common?

boarding school as an argument for more stability...i guess you could argue that one....maybe also for getting away from horrid home life?

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Caligula · 20/09/2005 21:45

Depends on the ethos of the boarding school.

A friend of mine used to work in one and many of the children came from army families, where the parents just moved around so often, that it was extremely unstable for the kids - they took the view that it was OK at primary level, but at secondary level they wanted the children's education to be stable. Many others had divorced parents who were jetsetters. School was the one big stable thing in their lives.

Very sad really. I met such lovely, vulnerable children there (particularly those who stayed at school in the holidays). They had the loveliest time they could have had given the circumstances, but one wished their circumstances were happier.

soapbox · 20/09/2005 21:45

I have two good friends (married to each other) who went to the same boarding school! They absolutely loved it> Their old headmaster did a speech at their wedding which was very moving.

Like most of this parenting lark, I'd say it depends on the child and on the parents. It'll suit some and be a disaster for others!

nooka · 20/09/2005 21:49

I chose to go to boarding school for sixth form. A strange thing to do, considering we had to be in our rooms by 10pm every night! I enjoyed it, and it got me away from home, which I think was essential for my sanity!

Looking at my contemporaries, some were very happy, and some were not. I think it depends on why you think you are there, whether you make friends easily, the quality of pastoral care, and the alternatives. On the plus side I made friends with people from around the world and got to do some extra curricular activities that I just wouldn't have been able to do at home. On the minus side, sometimes it was lonely, and it could be very restricive.

happymerryberries · 20/09/2005 21:49

I have met people who realy loved it, met people who hated it. It all depends on the child, the school and the situation

JoolsToo · 20/09/2005 21:50

I still can't understand why you would even think of sending your children away - can't get my head round it at all.

yoyo · 20/09/2005 21:50

I couldn't do it but do sometimes look at the week and wonder where there is time for fun when there are two children with homework/reading/projects, after-school clubs, Brownies, swimming, etc. Then there are the meals, baths, tidying up, laundry... And there is the youngest one to deal with. I can see a positive side to boarding but am too controlling for it to be a consideration.

happymerryberries · 20/09/2005 21:51

Well, I know people who have done it. If your duh is in the services you may move every 18 months to two years. try getting a child an education when that happens....not so easy.

Original poster
Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 21:52

i do think that sixth form is different esp if you've asked to go tho.

i think i'd consider it (if we had the money!) if ds was begging from about 14/15 (i don't know why he'd be begging tho!)...by then i reckon they might have some idea of what they were getting themselves into....

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yoyo · 20/09/2005 21:53

I think going home every weekend is extremely common. Usually only the overseas students stay in. Most boarding schools do Sat mornings though. Not sure about Prep schools.

Original poster
Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 21:53

at ds's prep school there were boarders from aged 5 some of whom didn't go home during half term holidays but stayed at the school after everyone went home!

tbh, i think that should be illegal.

OP posts:
JoolsToo · 20/09/2005 21:54

but 14/15 is such a vulnerable age too!

Original poster
Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 21:54

i thought you only got one or two exeats a term?

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Original poster
Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 21:54

v true jools.

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