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Education

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Original poster

have we ever had a boarding school debate on here? she pondered innocently

47 replies

Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 21:28

is there anyone that thinks they are a good idea under aged 10? 12? 14? that didn't go to one?

if so why? i'm not buying the 'learning to be independent' line, nor the 'i had really good fun' line.

this isn't about special needs and boarding schools i'm talking about 'NT' kids here.

genuinely interested as used to be vehemently anti but altho still not pro (still pretty anti in fact) am rather more open minded (about everything to do with anything to do with parenting) than i used to be.

also find myself fantisising about the fantastic travelling/going out that could be done were ds to go (has anyone noticed that people don't use the wink emoticon as much since you can't do it with a semi colon btw)

OP posts:

JoolsToo · 20/09/2005 21:55

me too! that's gut wrenchingly awful

happymerryberries · 20/09/2005 21:55

my kids school has a boarding section, almost all of them go home for the weekend.

I thought it was awful too, until I met quite ballenced , happy adults who had been and told me that they loved it.

As one said to me, 'who did you want to be with when you were 15 hmb, your friends or your family?'

JoolsToo · 20/09/2005 21:58

yes - there are lots of things teenagers want but what they need is the love and guidance of their parents.

soapbox · 20/09/2005 21:58

No - most common now is weekly boarding, not termly IYSWIM.
5 is highly unusual too - prep school starts at 7 normally, 5 is pre-prep which is rarely boarding.
At the boys prep and senior school near us all of the day boys have to board for 1 week a year. Lots of them enjoy it so much that they pester to board full time!

I've mixed feelings - I would hate it if my DCs chose to board, but if they really wanted to...

yoyo · 20/09/2005 21:59

For some, boarding is the one stable element of their lives though.

Original poster

Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 22:00

i'm really glad to hear that things have changed in that respect soapbox (re weekends) but there are lots of schools where kids don't come home every weekend.

i don't think seven is ok tbh. seven.....they're tiny!

OP posts:

Jimjams · 20/09/2005 22:01

I think home at weekends is very common. My cousin- whose experience is far more recent than me did flexi boarding. sometimes she stayed in all week, sometimes she went to my parents (or her parents when they eventually were able to move to the same city). Even after her parents were home though she still boarded a couple of days a week (her choice)

Jimjams · 20/09/2005 22:02

oh JoolsToo- I remember that documentary as well- it was awful, but nothing like my experience.

Original poster

Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 22:03

jimjams that sounds entirely civilised to me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 22:03

jimjams that sounds entirely civilised to me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 22:05

so civlised i said it twice.

aren't public school boarding schools harking back to a bygone era when parents really didn't get that involved in parenting tho. and given what we know now, aren't the majority of them an anachronism....

there is a thing isn't there that says that you only get a 'proper' education if you board, and the implied message is, you need to learn young to stand on your own two feet and not be soft enough to need or want to be near your parents. and that is what i think i find most heinous about the concept.

am glad that sometimes the reality is rather different.

OP posts:

weesaidie · 20/09/2005 22:07

I wouldn't want to send dd, couldn't afford to anyway, but I guess if I could and she was of secondary school age I would consider it. Only if they could come home weekends and then I still wouldn't be sure!

soapbox · 20/09/2005 22:10

Sophable - yes 7 is IMHO way too young!

To be fair though boarding at prep is not that usual - a lot of prep scools are day schools - but there are some!

nooka · 20/09/2005 22:14

Ah but JoolsToo, it was the the love and guidance of my parents (well my mother) that I was escaping from! I don't regret it one bit, although I had to nag my dad for quite a few months before he agreed.

expatinscotland · 20/09/2005 22:16

My dad used to threaten us w/boarding schools run by cloistered nuns. We had an aunt who was cloistered. It was enough to scare us into obedience, b/c he would have done it, too.

QueenOfQuotes · 20/09/2005 22:17

by best friends little sister went to boarding school when she was 6 - she was the younest ever person to go to the school (younger than the day choristers). Until she was 10 she lived at the headmaster's house (he had 4 children of his own) and when she turned 10 moved into the boarding house.

She loved it, and never seem to do her any harm, and she's doing very well for herself now.

The 'normal' age for boarding though was around 10-11yrs old. And she was unusual as she was particularly talented, and living in the highlands of Scotland had no access to a Cello teacher than was suitable for her needs.

Generally I have nothing against boarding schools, but I do feel that 10-11yrs old is the youngest (as a general rule) that children should go. Unless there are other circumstances - family travelling a lot, for example - which would mean that a 'settled' environment at boarding school would be better than constantly moving and changing schools.

hunkermunker · 20/09/2005 22:20

I went to a boarding school. We had midnight feasts, a mamzelle we played pranks on and a wonderful swimming pool that was tidal!

Oh no, hang on...

miggy · 20/09/2005 22:21

well-ds1 starts next sept so will let you know. he is only boarding 2 or 3 weeknights though, his choice-well actually he wanted to board full time but I wouldnt let him. School is 20 mins from home, 5 mins from my work. Thing is, at senior school, they often dont finish till 8/9pm after prep/music/drama rehearsals etc, may as well stay the night really!

Original poster

Heathcliffscathy · 20/09/2005 22:21

pmsl hunker

OP posts:

Caligula · 20/09/2005 22:39

LOL HM

Ladymuck · 21/09/2005 07:41

One of our local independent schools has a very flexible boarding scheme. You can opt for weekly boardly or term-boarding. Parents of day puplis can even book their children in for a week or two so that they can jet off on a high-powered business trip/chid-free holiday.

It was sooooo tempting!

triceratops · 21/09/2005 08:42

After what boarding did to my dh I would not even consider it. But he had particularly bad parents at the time who were unable to look after him at home (mental illness and alcoholism).

He ran away from school at the age of 8 and spent the night in the cab of a JCB at the side of the road. The police picked him up the next day and returned him to school. His parents decided not to visit him as it would be "rewarding" his escape attempt..

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