Tokyo I am from that batch; I was offered Bristol and will probably do my second MA at Cardiff so presumably not too dumb. As a child, I never knew I could go to university: nobody from my school went, in fact very few indeed from my primary did any study after 16.
Yes my Aunt went, but she is 15 years younger then my Mum and my Mum didn't speak to her family other than Christmas for first 20 years of my life due to a big falling out.
There was, and currently is still, no university in the county where we lived. I was the only one from my estate not to go straight into the lingerie factory at 16 and cut ribbon for a living (factory long closed). I felt like a freak, certainly lost many mates who thought I was being odd. At 15 all my friends were from the estates, at 18 none of them were and I ended up getting into a bit of a state at college with a lot of family problems and frankly if I had gone then would have lasted ten minutes. I didn't know my DH then but he had a nervous breakdown at the same time which is why he turned down his course place and got a job.
A few years later, I started to date someone m who was a graduate, had been to a private school as had all his mates, and I started to realise that actually they weren't any different to me; my dreams of being a teacher at school weren't actually impossible. When I broke up with ex-F (who said that people like me weren't at uni as our genes made us unsuitable for responsibility- any guesses why we broke up?
) I started an OU course, took the exam when 7 months PG with a really tough preganancy, and got the result of 88% through when I was in hospital after delivering.
I figured then I was quite up to it, ansd started saving and preparing to go.
I spoke to a staff member at one uni who told me that from their stats people whoc ame in with a access got higher degrees than their counterparts (this was a teaching course, not medicine but not X Factor Studies either).
It wasn't the case that the kids I went to school with were all thick. Some have gone on to good careers, and were quite capable but university was simply never, ever mentioned to us as a possibility. We left school in 1989 and if was like that on a crap estate in Somerset then I am certain it was the same in other places.
We simply were seen as 'the kids from the estates'; my teachers refused to enter me for extended exams at GCSE and I still managed A-C passes which I am told is quite an achievement; certainly there were teachers outside school waiting to congratulate me on results day. Dad didnt; want me to go to college, Mum fought for that but afterwards it was anything that paid immediately and 'how fast can you move out?'
My uni had a big mature student intake (why I went; I have a complicated family life) and traditionally they did well. The back stories varied- one lady who did exceptionally well was married with kids by 18; another had dyslexia that led to her being excluded before she was 14. One lady was rebuilding her life after a terrible time that included two deaths, one of her child. Yet another had the clearest case of undiagnosed AS that I have seen in an adult (and as I am doing an MA in ASD I have seen a few!) and had only just reached the stage of being able to cope.
Then you go back twenty years before that or more, and you get people like my Dad who passed their 11+ but couldn't go to Grammar because their famillies couldn't pay for the uniform (Dad was 15 / 16 kids in a family where Grandad was an alcoholic and Nan bedridden for years before he was born and thirty years after, and the only one to pass the 11+).
Now, on DH's degree he is only the second ever student to study with them over 22, and the first to go into the second year so it does seem to vary. But the difference in culture now (I mentored kids who had uni potential but no plans to study for a bit) in the poorer areas and then is immense. I don't know what it's like home now- I've been in Wales for 6 years and have no plans to move back as my children are IMO very much better off here and there is a culture of improving yourself through education here that dates back decades- but we do go back for certain activities and we still feel a bit like we broke some unmentioned rule and stepped over the line.
I don't know what my boys will do; they're certainly bright (DS3 is 7 and taking year 6 maths) but they also have extra challenges (2 with ASD, one with dyspraxia, other still a toddler). I'd like to think that there will be sufficient give in the system to enable ds3 to study at degree level (presumably in maths or IT) if he is academically able, but it should be based on that alone. It's certainly his biggest (only?) chance of independence. DS1 has a talent in art and wants to be a jewellery designer so we shall send him to art college and see where he goes from there, likewise ds2 who is conservation minded (that will be agricultural college I suspect). My guess is that HND will be the right route for them and that is fine, but would ahte to see uni 0aeducation shrunk down so much that people who were academically quite capable (and clearly ds3 is) lost out on places because of their additional needs and a squeeze for places. Plenty of people outside a narrow band can have their prospects betterd via HE, and a very few palces will make them second rate choices by default I would guess.
And now I waffle and have to go fill in a 24 hour EEG moinitor sheet for ds3 who looks like a robot today LOL.
Sorry.