HELP - I am being accused of a scam??!

[BassMama]

I recently sold an item on ebay and the buyer sent the money, and I posted the item.

Now, I did post 3 days late but I was on tour and didnt get the email with his address til I got back. I apologised to him, and explained that I was away. He seemed okay with it.

I have had about 15 emails from the buyer, claiming that he never recieved the item.
I have douvle checked the address with him. It was the right one. He has now opened a dispute on paypal and ebay about me and i dont know what to do. he is asking for POD number (?) and delivery number (again, ??)It was just a normal 'post in a jiffy bag' thing, so i didnt get anything like that?

I dont know what to do, and am worried as i have spent the money (it was nearly £200)

bassmama - I had a similar ecxperience this week on ebay. I sold a Laura Mercier foundation; the buyer claimed it never arrived. Unfortunately a relo had posted it for me, but lost the PofP, so I couldn't prove that it was sent. I did refund the buyer, but it has put me off ebay a bit (well, for a few weeks maybe).
Good luck withe gigs

hey kids, simmer down !

if you actually read my messages, I'm playing DOWN the music biz stuff, not up !

It was Bassmamas stuff that got me interested and made me register, but the more of her threads I read, the more I realised that she was bulshitting, the more annoyed I got with her and the more I distrusted anything she said

If you'd rather believe her than me, thats up to you, at the end of the day its just words on the screen, anything on the internet has to be taken with a pinch of salt

Bassmama, you know the score - people will like you more if you are honest

I dont have time to rip you're latest BS apart, the carry out has arrived and its a bit more appetising than pouring cold water on your sad little pipe dream !

with love

MumsyPoops

I don't get why it bothers you so bloody much!! Who cares?????

What does it matter to you whether she is a nobody or Madonna??? I just don't geddit!!

what a strange reason to join a parenting forum thats quite creepy

hm...jiffy bag or not...you always get a proof of postage first class anyway....well. I have no matter which post office I use...surely my rubbish lil town ain't no different then any other!
£200..I certainly would be pissed off if I didn't receive the item...and surely somehting of that worth, you would send with proof of postage...surely no one si that stupid!

Mumsypoops - I really do think it is time you apologised for your behaviour here towards bassmama. Stalking, insulting and bitching is bang out of order.

I sense you have some real personal issues but i can't quite work out why you should claim to know it all in the music scene. This is a parenting site not a music site so I'm puzzled as to what you are trying to prove.

If you do have some problems or issues maybe you could ask here for help? If you have only recently registered and have spent most of the time just following one member maybe you genuinely don't realise that people here do support each other.

Ask for help - it's better than feeling so bitter

3easterbunnies - I think you are very lucky with the post-offices you use because as a general rule you don't get proof of postage unless you you ask.
Some people prepare packets at home and just drop off and infact ebay have now introduced a postage label system which will mean that more people will be posting without obtaining pop.

bassmama has already explained what she did and acted appropriately and indeed regreted that she has a learned a very expensive lesson - I don't think she needs to be called stupid - that's not nice

Hello everyone!

For those still on the actual topic! I admit I was wrong to not refund the guy right away, the nasty emails he sent really got to me. But I have now, and its all over. Sadly, I am down £200 but hey, its my lesson to learn to get proof or bloody postage!!

Really - Thank you, Thank you to all who have stuck up for me here! it really means a lot, as you can see mummypoop really got to me last night.

A lot of you have made some really good points about the kind of site this is and hopefully mummypoop will get the idea!

Oh -and mummypoop - as for your
'Bassmama, you know the score - people will like you more if you are honest'
quote - try 'More people will like you if you are nice'.

just giving my honest opinion there....because...sorry...it is a stupid thing to do, to send somehting via Royal Mail that is of great value and not get proof of posting...simple as that!
So, no Bassmama isn't stupid, of course not (afterall she is a mumsnetter ) , just a person that did a stupid thing (which, I would think, could discribe just about every person on this planet...as we all ahve done stupid things in our life and will go on to do so)...and yes, she has learned the lesson the hard way.

Hey there TweetyFish's DH here. I'm in a band at the mo (unfortunately unsigned and struggling in daytime job like countless many out there!).

First of all, even thought i've not known guitar aamp used in DJ situations doesnt mean it doesnt happen. I do know however that many electronica bands route thru guitar amps as fx/filters. Im guessing youre going thru the power section anyway there's only a minimal amount of tube colouring that should affect the sound. It's pre-amp that moulds the initial signal and the speaker cab that filters out the frequency to narrow the sound range down. But yes i guess it could be considered unconvetional, but then again so could half the techniques currently used in music!

Anyway, im guessing like you've stipulated BassMama you had the band business set up before signing, and im guessing, a distribution deal. Thats normal. Have known of bands who have set up as a business not to give away the family silver as it were and keep control of the band but obviously for less wanga.

BassMama i must admit i am rather jealous as you do this for a living - it sucks doing the 9 to 5, so good luck with it all!

And mumsypoops cerntainly not discrediting you either. I think its possibly at worst a case of cross wires and culture. Business models change and have changed even for bands. And tbh if you think she's just in a glorified wedding band, cant you just let someone have there moment of sunshine without having to try and discredit someone if it doesnt directly affect oneself? This is the internet after all, and im not suggesting it happens here, but you know, we can be something we're not a wee bit (then you meet up and it goes pear shaped and they're not the 6ft dark handsome stranger after all eh ? lol).

Its a shame about the Ebay stuff. I've been ripped off before and THANKFULLY paypal did raid the guys account so i got me money back (300 quid as well - basically bought the item and didnt hear a dickybird from the guy, not even feedback!). I'm sure you know next time to say on postage description that it will cost em 5 quid but that will include registered post.

Oh and BassMama ditch the Marshall...buy yourself either a Line6 POD XT Pro or Vetta head and a Crown PA amp. For the guitar you pick up a decent battered old marshall 4x12 for about 300 quid at most (err off ebay, sorry probably last place you're going now right?). I currently use a Line 6 XT as part of my band setup - in fact the whole band does now incld bassist as of tues! Its a much more versatile system, it does sound like a real guitar amp (i've had it side by side my JCM800 head and it sounds BETTER!) once you dial it in.

Anyway, to sign off for both you lasses any support slots or label pickups appreciated!

www.myspace.com/mitch (old stuff)
www.myspace.com/mitchdemos (new demos)

Cheers - oh and be nice to Tweetyfish - she's rather embarassed i've hijacked her logon!!

Hello DH of Tweetyfish!

Thank you, what a really nice post!You have clarified the 'argument' in a way I couldn't seem to do! So thank you..

We only signed with the label 8 months ago, but have been running the business together for years. So what you said is exactly right! We get to keep control, and still manage ourselves. And yes, its a lot less money but we are still our own bosses!

Doing this for a living is a struggle. I do not have any guaranteed income, my income changes from week to week, month to month (which makes claiming tax credits hard, last year, for example, I had to pay back £2000 at the end of April!! My fault though as i didnt report all the changes of income..every week ) I never know how much money I will have. I cant get a mortgage. I cant get loans. I only got my mobile phone contract on the business account! (We all had to!)
Obviously I work late at night, especially when DJing, and this means I am constantly tired. I'm sure I dont need to remind any of you what time children like to get up in the mornings! It can be very hard, it can mean I am not giving my DS 100% effort all the time. He is looked after by other people a lot. In ways, thats good, its like my upbringing with the kind of open house/hippy lifestyle. But how often do you think I sit and think about how i am parenting? Whether I should give up the whole music career and concentrate more on my son? It made me really depressed for a while as well. But this is what I do, and this is the best way I know of making money.
The grass aint always greener - I bet I envy you as much as you do me!

Don't get me wrong, the lifestyle is great, And I wouldnt want to change it. But it can be hard. Going on tour for 5, 6, 7, whatever days at a time, always missing my boy. I come home and he has learned something new and I missed it

And people like mummypoop giving a remark about 'disregarding us due to the older lineup'? Its things like that we have to face, and are aware that we have been knocked back for gigs.. 4 old men and a mother? Not the best tag line!
(In reality - 4 VERY attractive, dont-look-their-age men and a hot mama!! IMHO!)

I'll speak to the guys about that amp you mentioned.. But believe me I am NOT going back near ebay again!!

Tweety - your DH seems lovely!! You lucky thang..!

Sorry to butt in, but with regards to your original dilema... did you put a return address on the package?
DH sent out a book before, which got "lost", luckly we did get proof of postage, and we claimed back the money from the PO, but a couple of weeks later (about 6 weeks after we posted the item) the parcel got sent back to us as it said they had not been able to deliver it.

Sockmonkey,

This is a good post totally forgot about return addresses. BM did you put one of your parcel. I spoke to Royal Mail the other day as I still receive old owners post and they say that all the return to sender items go to one sorting office may be you could give them a call and see if they have it to return.

BM been reading your post over the past couple of days and didn't have any new advice to give - always get proof of postage blah blah blah!! But I just want to let you know that I find MP very stange indeed you dont have to justify to anyone what you do. I totally admire that you have a job doing something that you love and i'm sure when your son is old enough to understand he will see what a cool mum he has and have nothing but respect for you for sticking with something that you love. I don't know what the womans problem is but i'm quite sure that anyone reading this will see that its HER problem. good luck with the band and ignore any futher comments from this weird woman!!

i havent read all of this, but i thought i'd just metion thatmy ex wasnt signed to a label but still put out a cd

also meant to add that even signed bands dont always distribute via big stores

just read some more, i have a recording studio as well, am i making it up?

probably lou. you're not supposedly based in edinburgh too are you? Did you steal the wheels off my bike?

lol i am covering the south east

BassMama was the item that you sold a mobile phone? Tried to skim through the thread to see what item was.
If you know the IMEI (?) number could you report the phone as lost/stolen so that whomever has it at least couldn't use it and maybe it could find it's way back to you.

Thanks Piximon but no, it wasn't a phone..
And thanks prawn too. I think she's a bit nutty as well!

And Lou - Nice to see i'm not the only 'fantasist' here..

and imaginaryfriend - I think we clarified I stole everything that has been going missing in Scotland.. You can have your bloody bike wheels back.

Bloody hell!!

Its real easy to get confused on here!!

It wasn't a mobile phone, it was a cordless phone. A Bang and Olufsen Beocom to be specific.

Didn't really want to get too specific TBH, I try not to give too much away on here as it prevents me from being fully honest in other, more serious (IYKWIM) threads if I think someone I know might identify me..

But I dont want anyone to get confused!