Should I stop my recovering daughter going away before starting university?

[ByDeftWriter]

I'd really appreciate some opinions of what I should do...My daughter (age 18) is going off to Uni 2 hours way from home in a couple of weeks. She struggled with body image and eating enough food at the start of sixth form, engaged well with support, regained some weight and healthy thoughts around food about 6 months ago - not perfect but definitely in recovery. Over the past month she's been struggling again - possibly due to the stress of waiting for a-level results and going away to Uni (thought she really wants to go). She's now borderline underweight, back to weighing food, counting calories and restricting portions. She has very little insight again at the moment. She's gone to a music festival for 5 days at the moment, and I think it's unlikely she'll be eating enough. She's then meant to be home for 3 days before going on holiday with friends again for 5 days, and then home for less than 2 weeks before going to Uni. If she's underweight when she gets back from the festival, I want to tell her she can't go on her next planned holiday but should stay home instead to try and regain some balance and routine around eating. I know she'll be furious with me, but I think it's important for her to go off to Uni with more time to plan and prepare for independent eating. Am I being too controlling? Thanks for any advice...

How are you going to stop her?

Yeah I understand it's difficult op but I can't imagine she's at a stage you can really stop her doing stuff. Unless you're funding it all?

I’m in the same position op except my dd never weight restored and has never really admitted to having an issue, albeit my dd is going to be closer.

Will she be eating enough at the festival or on holiday? Just wondering if she may start to turn things around herself just by being with her friends.

As for going away, I don’t think you can stop her unless she’s at real medical risk. You can, however have communication and contact agreements. So a text once a week, where she will agree to respond to your questions about the course, how friendships are going. And a question about food. Then a weekly phone call. And you will visit her once a month unless she’d rather come home. Agree to pay for her train fares home if you can afford it as that will encourage her to come back.

Has she contacted disability and sent details of her diagnosis? Wellbeing needs to be involved. Has she given you permission to talk to the university on her behalf?

@Mummyoflittledragon Thanks for your response - it's nice to hear I'm not the only one in this situation. I think she'll unlikely eat enough at the festival or on holiday - she needs alot of prompting at home atm. I think at Uni she'll have more time and more opportunity to overcome it, but am worried if she goes to Uni underweight she'll start on a back foot. She has adhd, so will be getting weekly mentoring - I hope she'll tell them she can struggle with food so they can check in with her about that alongside everything else. I'm also going to encourage her to self refer to Uni wellbeing as they have links to the local ED service. I've also said I'll pop up to visit after a month - she's not happy with that idea atm, but I think will be OK with it at the time. Such a worry!