Teen Eating Disorders - Thread 5

[myrtleWilson]

Welcome everyone,
Our last thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/eating_disorders/4279530-Teen-Eating-Disorders-Thread-4?watched=1&msgid=111172926#111172926

That we're on thread 5 in about a year is a reflection of the incredible increase in mental health issues, including eating disorders amongst young people over the last couple of years.

With that in mind, we thought we'd try to include some resources that have helped us along the way to date. No one resource will be a panacea but hopefully this list will be a useful starting off point for any newcomers and a reflection for others. It is our first go at sharing a list of resources on a thread so it won't be perfect!

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

anorexiafamily.com/?v=79cba1185463

www.youtube.com/evamusby

www.youtube.com/channel/UCa7G1P5WQopVMc9qTSP_lgA

www.orri-uk.com

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/

www.stgeorges.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Junior-MARSIPAN-Risk-Assessment-Framework.pdf

People to look up on social media
Hope Virgo
Ro-Recovering
James Downs
Cara Lisette
Adam Fare
BarefootRebel
Ilona Burton

Girlie hope Covid is not too bad for your DD

Betty - great news on a gain!

dark how are you doing?

Hi everyone
welcome @Stuffragette - sorry to have you here though...

@Bettybarkalot123 I agree - I'd be okay with school in the situation you describe. 220g is nothing and could be due to a bit of water retention etc etc . If she does go I hope she has a great time!

@Lougle I hope DD's fatigue eases soonest and you see that weight gain. I think covid with someone experiencing an ED is such a potential tinderbox...

DD is quite low at the moment - although had a good therapy session this evening. The ED seems increasingly loud and very very mean to her - it disrupted her sleep a lot last night. Plus she's ill with the cold/not covid cold thats doing the rounds. It all feels a bit bleak to be honest - that her summer recovery didn't get far enough over the line to stick. I know I'm looking at the negatives as its only been one half term but I have a sinking feeling that this return to 6th form isn't going in the way I'd hoped...

Thank you for all the advice. She is going in today. She’s very happy, a little nervous but glad to be seeing her friends. They all know and have been kind, one will go for her snack with her each morning and I’m picking her up at 1.

She has been working hard to eat well I do believe that, she still struggles with lots of foods and puddings are a massive fear for her. The Cadbury’s caramel chocolate pot is a step forward and I’m glad I now have another food she will eat. I’m glad it’s not vegan and it’s an extra 50 calories to her her usual pudding. Next week I want her to try and have a Bon mammon chocolate mouse pot. They’re tiny bit pretty calorific.

I’ve been making a shepherds pie with veggie mince that soaks up avocado oil like you wouldn’t believe. Butter in the mash. She probably gets through 6 eggs a week. The soup I made on Sunday had so much butter in I felt quick sick eating it. I think Dd knew but it’s as tho she can tell the Ed voice that she didn’t know for sure so it’s ok. Not sure if that makes sense.

I’ve noticed other positive things too, small things but good. She used to have a rule where she had to leave something on the plate. Usually it was milk in the bottom of her cereal bowl or the thick chocolate at the bottom of her mug. She doesn’t do this anymore, last night she was actually swirling the mug round to mix in the chocolate at the bottom. Small things but positive I hope. Today she’s having almonds on her weetabix another new addition.

I’m going to use the time she’s at school to recharge, do some cooking for her and plan a way forward. State not weight is vital I believe and mentally she seems good. I just need to really up what she’s having.

Great idea about the weigh in “uniform” will definitely make sure she wears the same each week.

She had a couple of alcoholic drinks at the party on Saturday so maybe those made her a bit dehydrated which could’ve affected her weight and thinking back she didn’t drink much water on Sunday although she ate well.

Thanks so much for the reassurance. I don’t know what I’d do without this space to come and talk to people going through the same.

Good luck for your DD for today Betty. Hope she has a great day!

Hope your dd has a great day @Bettybarkalot123. My dd is going in for mocks this week and next. So far this entails a lot of me driving to and from school and trying to shove food into her in between.
Yesterday she did well but today she ate barely any breakfast (says it’s too early to eat) and then only half her snack at school. She ate lunch well and will be home for afternoon snack so will ensure it’s calorific. She’s due back at school properly in 2 weeks and while she’s been eating well at home (for the most part) I cant see her keeping it up at school so am quite worried. I’m hopeful that being back and not having FOMO will improve her mood though!

In other news the rest of us all have a horrible cold and dd is the only one to have escaped it so far so have bought her some first defence in the hope she doesn’t catch it. 1) She cant afford to lose her appetite at the moment and 2) it’s really bad timing with her mocks

@Lougle my dd came up with her own uniform for her weigh ins. She chose her heaviest clothes 😆 but at least she can’t wear anything heavier for future ones. She also has braids with extensions at the moment that really need to come out but she won’t take them out yet because it will make her weigh less.

Glad that lots of DDs back at school. DD had an inset yesterday but is going in every morning this week (and to the clinic for a couple of afternoons). The psychiatrist says that he's happy for her to go in for five mornings a week so long as she continues to weight restore.

She didn't gain or lose a single gram over her bout of Covid, which I'll take as it could have been worse. But now she's gained 600g since last Thursday and weighs as much as she ever has in the 10 months since diagnosis (in June she weighed this much on one week before going into a tailspin and losing the whole lot rapidly). 44-45kg is the hump she has to get over - it's the minimum healthy weight the BMI calculator says for her age and height and so she thinks anything above this is 'above a healthy weight'.

Sigh.

Her sleepover went fine. She did too much and stayed up too late but had a some revolting looking five guys cheese toastie that we made her film herself eating. Hmmm that's niche. She said afterwards that hanging out with her friends and eating junk food felt like a breakthrough. Helped by the fact that her friends had chicken shop crap, a mcdonalds and a five guys, thus disproving her 'I eat more than everybody else in the world'.

Thanks @Rollergirl11
She had a good day. She went to medical for her snack, a flask of milk and a frusili bar. Home at 1 and had two eggs, avocado and one piece of toast.. she needs to be having two but it is thick sliced.
The Head of year emailed me during the morning to say she’d seen her and she seemed happy and settled. She said they were pleased to have her back.
@Moomarre mocks next week for us, I’ve seen the timetable and snap! Lots of driving back and forth coming up. Our daughters sound similar.
@Valleyofthedollymix ours sound similar too. We’re stuck at the 45kg hump! She was 46 when I first took her to the GP in June and I didn’t think she looked terribly thin. I’ll be happy to get there as it’s a bit of a milestone I’d like to pass.

It’s just so hard to get her to gain that extra weight. I had no idea it would be this hard.

We’re at a bit of a mental blockade for dd as she is now heavier than she has ever been and according to the nhs bmi calculator has finally crossed onto “healthy weight”. So she’s now saying she doesn’t need to gain any more weight and is fine and her Ed nurse is a liar for saying she’s still not a healthy weight. I did point out that on the nhs calculator it clearly says it’s not to be used if you have an eating disorder! I don’t think she’s far off though weight wise tbh, she looks really good now, she’s no longer grey and hunted looking, her skin has cleared up and she has the most amazing legs now that they’re a bit fuller. I’m quite envious! We just need to sort the mental aspect out which is of course much harder

Hi all

@Bettybarkalot123 200g is really statistical error so I would be inclined to send her in with the caveat that if there is ANY further loss she's straight out again.

DD went to school for the first time in since the beginning of term. It didn't start well. She didn't turn up to the care centre for her snack, and after a chat with me, the nurse pulled her out of class. She refused point blank to eat her snack, only the threat of calling me made her drink her drink. But lunch was eaten, afternoon snack was eaten along with dinner with a big portion of sticky toffee pudding with cream! So we let her go back in today. Snack was had, lunch etc everything had. She knows she's on a warning and if she loses she comes straight out.

She's found it hard tbh and I wasn't expecting it. Very self conscious and embarrassed.

Weigh in today - she gained 800g, now 86% WFH! So we are nearly back to where we were in terms of wfh in early July. I know this is a danger period but I'm pushing pushing pushing. There is a LONG way to go, but considering she was 78% wfh a month or so ago, I'm pretty pleased.

A couple of things to share (tell me to stop if this stuff isn't helpful): Lidl had Mission wraps in this week - they are 194 cals each, around 50 more than standard ones and I am sandwiching them together.

I made some amazing muffins the other day, OMG they are divine and pretty significant....

1.75 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
115g butter (very soft)
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 large eggs
1/2 cup sour cream or greek yoghurt
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup milk
1 cup blueberries

I took out 1/4 cup flour and replaced it with 1/4 cup of ground almonds for more protein and fat.

Mix the dry ingredients together.
In a mixer, beat the butter and sugars together until light and fluffy, add the eggs one at a time, beating well.
Beat in the sour cream and vanilla. Add the dry ingredients and milk on low speed and mix until there are no more flour pockets.
Stir in the blueberries by hand.

Bake at 200for around 20 minutes. Makes 12

This recipe also had a topping but I didn't add this, I mixed cinnamon and sugar and sprinkled on the top. The topping was 1/2 cup brown sugar, 11/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts and 1 tsp ground cinnamon.

@Moomarre that’s great, that she has good colour again. My dd has been very pale but today she seems to have some colour back in her checks. I just hope she doesn’t lose next week or we’re pooped!!

@DarkBlueEyes fantastic weight gain. I think we kind of joined this thread at the same time and I’ve always been super interested in how your daughter is doing. She sounds like she’s making great progress. Do you think the meds have helped?
I’d love to try them for my dd as her fear foods are stopping her from making these big gains that she so desperately needs. It’s almost like the Ed team want her to fail first. I know meds aren’t to be taken lightly but still!
I could never imagine her eating sticky toffee pudding without some serious self harm and meltdowns. Thanks for sharing the tips and recipes. I’m always on the look out for new ideas.
Anyone else literally think of food, calories and maximising them CONSTANTLY! I do!!! 😩

@Bettybarkalot123 I definitely think the meds have made a difference. The screaming for hours and distress have reduced. Sadly not eliminated. As soon as she's upped a bit she can increase the sertraline. We've reduced the olanzapine by half a tablet at breakfast time and it still seems to be ok.

We still have fear foods. Pastries, peanut butter, lasagne (though she had it in hospital) and she just will not go there. Brownies also problematic. But I'm getting in what I can and lots of lard, butter and cream.

If your D will eat chips, the Lidl skin on fries are fab. I do them in the oven and add a big chunk of lard. Omg they are delicious lol I can't resist them!!!

Tuna pasta bake tonight with masses of cream and cheese and butter.

I made chilli and brown rice tonight - added gallons of avocado oil to it.
My dd used to love pasta bake.

I wish I could get the Ed team to consider a low dose of meds just to get her back on track. I’m worried we’re not tackling her fear foods because we’re scared of a complete refusal resulting in weight loss. We’re stuck in a bit of a rut to be honest.

Great news with some of your dcs back in school. Dark amazing progress!!!
45kg seems to be the hump weight here too.

@Bettybarkalot123 will she eat Bircher muesli? Just made some for tomorrow and packed it with lots of double cream, maple syrup, chia seeds, ground almonds, ground mixed seeds as well as the usual
Apple juice, grated apple and oats. No way you can tell there's cream in there. It's bloody delicious too.

Also I got scandishake from the doctor to mix into milk. It's totally tasteless but ramps up the nutrients and calories. I add maxijul to her juice too. I've bought Nestle Nido to add to milk as Dr would only do one prescription for the scandishake. It's great if she asks for weetabix for breakfast as they're so low in calories but this really helps.

Scandi will last 24 hours in the fridge made up. So handy to hide in the milk bottle.

I am bracing myself for a major wobble. This is the most she's weighed for nearly two years and it's exactly the weight where it all turned to custard in July. She can feel it I know. But we can't let it happen again.

Our ED team would not countenance meds despite repeated pleading. So we went private just before she went to
Hospital. At hospital they prescribed the olanzapine as they witnessed the screaming and the food in the pants etc that I'd been telling them about for 'ages..... then of course they couldn't take her off the sertraline and so they took over the prescription and eventually after much badgering agreed to increase it when she gets to the right weight. Just make yourself a pain in the arse.

Thanks @DarkBlueEyes - I am defo a pain in their arse, but I need to be an even bigger one.

I’ll research those supplements thanks for that. I e never heard of them. Are they really tasteless?

I’m contacting the gp tomorrow for a private referral. There’s a Priory clinic near us so that’s what we’re considering.

I didn't go down the meds route for dd and I'm still not sure if it was the right decision or not. I have managed to get her up to 100% wfh but it's taken bloody ages and at her worst she was only 90% wfh!! She was offered fluoxetine earlier this year but I was not convinced she needed antidepressants. Other than the anxiety around food she doesn't seem depressed particularly.

I wonder if olanzipine would have helped if she'd been offered that earlier on.

Getting her head to catch up with her body seems like a never ending story at the moment.

Great that your dd had a good first day back Betty.

Brilliant weight gain dark those muffins look yum!! I made some millionaires shortbread the other day, that must have a shed load of calories in it as it's basically butter and sugar!!

Great the sleepover went well valley.

Myrtle sorry to hear your dd is struggling again.

If any of your kids are looking up their bmi I would honestly clamp straight down on that. It's just cannon fodder for the ED and serves no useful purpose other than to stress them out.

I completely agree @Girliefriendlikespuppies but how do you stop them? It's the fricking NHS website so it's not lockable and carries with it the aura of respectability. Even if I were to take her phone, she has a school iPad.

I'd go apeshit valley and she'd lose her devices for a week or so. I appreciate they can still do it behind your back but I think you have to be very clear it is absolutely not acceptable and if you catch her doing it there will be consequences. In my mind it's a form of self harm, I wouldn't let dd look up ways to injure herself so this is no different.

@Moomarre ref your DD eating at school, will they not offer to supervise her? Or failing that could your DD go somewhere for break and lunch and FaceTime you so you can see her eating? This is what we used to do with DD for morning break and it worked well. DD has admitted that there’s no way she would have eaten when she first went back to school if it was left down to her. Especially given that she has a couple of friends who have their own ED issues and eat very poorly at school.

@Bettybarkalot123 DD’s CAMH’s team we’re also very reluctant to give DD any medication for ages and simply said that her mood and mental health would improve as the weight went on. It was only as she started to become weight restored and they could see that her anxiety was absolutely through the roof and hindering her recovery that they relented and started her on Fluoxetine. We are still not sure if it is having any effect yet although she has just started on a higher dose this week.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies I think fluoxetine helps with anxiety too. DD is definitely more anxious then she is depressed, although she was suffering with both. She tends to be anxious at school and in social settings but then when she’s at home she is less anxious but then suffering with really low mood. The lower dose due help with the mood but not the anxiety. Hoping the higher dose will make a difference.

DD also has her mocks at the end of November. She’s very nervous about them already.

@Valleyofthedollymix sounds like your DD’s sleepover was a resounding success on the eating front! And maybe it highlighted for her what she’s missing and what the ED is taking from her?

DD is only now starting to emerge and stick her head out from the ED shroud and experience nights out with her friends and have fun again! She had her Halloween party at the weekend and she had an absolute ball. Now I finally feel like she’s got some bounce in her step again!

Dd is adamant she won't have any medication even though I feel it could help her.
I saw this the other day and it sums her up so clearly. From what others have put on here I guess some of you can relate to it as well?

Hi everyone, great progress being made!!

@NCTDN that sums up my DD3.

I've had to email DD3's deputy head of year about her. She's decided to be a pescatarian, which on further discussion is because she's in the belief that pescatarians weigh less. We all had COVID a couple of weeks ago and she was delighted that she didn't have an appetite and had lost weight. I think she's heading for an ED, but her BMI is 75th centile (she's slim but tall) so I know that EDT won't be interested at all. It took until DD1 was 68% WFH for them to pay attention.

Oh God that list sounds a bit like me 😬🤣

Lougle that would be ringing alarm bells to me re your other dd.

I've just seen a post on the fb group re the dangers of Instagram and tiktok, a parent discovered her child had set up a 'recovery' account and had a lot of followers. SM is a bloody minefield.

Things here seem relatively settled, dds mood is much better now she's at school and she's seemingly eating okay.

How's your dd doing Betty?

Morning all, thanks for asking @Girliefriendlikespuppies - she’s been quite up and down this week. She’s definitely very tired. She’s anxious about her mocks and the Ed seems to be very strong, particularly yesterday. She had a meltdown over her tea. She ate most of it though and her chocolate pot.

Her best friend who she’s been with all week tested + for covid last night. Apparently she went to school yesterday with symptoms as her lateral flow was negative.. however when she got home it had changed to positive and a second test was also positive. Dd tested herself and was negative. I managed to get her in for her jab about two weeks ago now so fingers crossed!! I’ll be glad when these mocks are over I can’t tell you!

She’s got three sets of science revision cards arriving today and as harsh as it sounds, she’s going to have to earn them by eating a full meal. Only then does she get a set. The Ed voice is so strong this week with her going back to school that I need all the leverage I can get.

@Lougle sorry to hear about the worries your having with DD3 - I also worry about my son who’s surrounded by all of this, he over eats and I’m having to be so careful about what I say and how I say it. I’m terrified for him too.

@Bettybarkalot123 I do hope she remains negative.

DD1 split up with her 'boyfriend' yesterday. Her pastoral lead said she's going to have a chat with hot chocolate and a biscuit today! It's nothing like the relationships we would recognise, but still real to her.