If anyone else has had an ED and has patches of relapse or near relapse I'd really appreciate your views.
I had bulimia that escalated into anorexia when I was 22 and I had inpatient psychiatric treatment for the ED, PTSD and clinical depression. I was raped when I was 11 and kept it quiet until I was 20 and then developed lots of MH issues. I recovered, went on to have 3DC's was strong enough to leave a physically abusive marraige etc.
Fast forward to now, I'm 38 and last week went into hospital for an op for UTI's and endometriosis. I got weighed. I haven't weighed myself for years because I become fixated and I felt healthy. I run regularly. I eat well etc. I'm a size 12 which I was happy with (apart from my post x3 tummy) I tried to look away but the nurse spoke my weight in kg (72kg). I had a general anaesthetic and had a terrible reaction to it so when I came round I had a massive sense of doom and panic. The anaesthetist said it's a rare reaction called akithesia.
Anyway, for the past week I have been obsessed with my weight and have started restricting food. I feel really really really down 
I can't separate it out if it's the reaction I had to the anaesthetic or I'm relapsing. I feel completely and utterly ridiculous that at 38 I'm once again obsessed with my body and it's affecting my MH. AIBU? I'm being pathetic aren't I?