bulimia & my poor credit card

[thatcoldfeeling]

I really am stupid. Not content with fucking up my face (posted abt in gen health), my bank balance is non existent and I just checked my credit card account - I've spent hundreds this month b/p'ing.

Am tempted to cut through my credit card so I can't use it, but I need it for emergency petrol etc. Oh bollocks.

Any suggestions?

Feel like I have been spamming MN this wkend with my ridiculous life.

He called at abt 6. Increasing fluoxetine to 40mg w view to go to 60mg. Also been given some diazepam.

Went into town to pick up the prescription. went straight past the surgery to the shop instead and b/p'd. What a total imbecile?!? Tried googling MH services to find out how long I have to wait now I have been referred for more pointless CBT, they seem to have no email and I don't think I can call. It isn't clear what is the right number and I can't handle some long and drawn out call getting passed around and explaining stuff.

Am actually really worried about how I am going to get my prescription without b/p'ing again! They do a collection service from the pharmacy but it is SO badly run, I cannot even begin to explain how dreadful the pharmacy service is in this town, and that wld make it all worse. Argh!

I wonder if we pick up our meds in the same town! Every single time there is some kind of problem, I go back and forth between the dispensary and the pharmacy. Where ever possible I get someone to do it for me, is that something you could try?

But if we are in the same town then I can 10/10 recommend the CBT based treatment I'm having, it's very practical and it's widened the range of foods I can eat as well seriously reducing b/p incidents. We make a tiny change and maintain that for a while before subtly attacking something else.

What treatment would you prefer, if it was available?

I live in quite a small town so that would be surprising - but not entirely unheard of! My last nightmare in the pharmacy was when I was in there on Good Friday to get antibiotics that had been faxed over from the OOH drs. There were two others also waiting for urgent prescriptions, and the pharmacy making a big song and dance over the whole thing because apparently they can't get a fax through unless someone calls them first. I was waiting an hour, with my face horrid and swollen, a total nightmare.

I don't really have anyone else who can do it so am going to have to just deal with it. have just eaten a load of food that I have no desire to purge (purposefully ate bad purging food to put me off!), so going to brave the crazy world of the pharmacy...

Anyway, ref treatment, I don't actually know what I want! Just so long as it doesn't involve some guy making assumptions about what I think about myself like my last experience!

Hi, any luck with meds? Hope things are no worse today x

Ha, I made it to get them! Spent yesterday evening in diazepam haziness which I needed.

I'm restricting today, I wish food would just fuck off and that it didn't exist.