Donor egg from fair hair, blue eyed women to match our family visually

[Gaston25]

after a very long painful reproduction journey and one blue eyed blonde child we are now considering a donor egg, but it seems no very hard to find an egg donor who is (of course healthy) but visually would also match our family’s look and therefore were a blonde (fair hair) and blue /grey eyed type. Last thing I would want is the child on top of coming from a donor egg also being questioned its entire life, why it does not look like any of us and if we are the real parents. If anyone has seen egg banks with that profile could you please share here? Thank you.

Are you looking in the UK or abroad? What egg banks have you tried?
It doesn’t sound like a particularly rare set of physical characteristics, even in countries where you might think it’s not the typical look they will have international donors.

@Gaston25 international clinics will have donors which typically match you which if you have fair hair and blue eyes then they'd find a donor matching you rather than the child. I know in Spain legally the donor has to match you.
It's worth visiting the fertility show coming to London at end of May where you can speak many clinics under one roof to explore your options

Go to the Us egg donor agencies. You can choose from photographs and get heaps of information.

A blond haired blue eyed donor does not guarantee a blond haired blue eyed child

You know families don’t ‘match’ in real life right? We’re mainly a family of blonde hair and blue eyes, my ds and dd1 have blonde hair and blue eyes. Dd2 has olive skin, dark eyes and bum length almost black hair. She’s gets asked if she’s Spanish a lot, and twice during Ramadan she’s been asked if she’s doing it as it’s been assumed she’s a race that normally does. There’s always one ‘dark one’ in every family on my side, eg my sister/uncle/2 cousins. In 4 generations of my ohs family none of them match hair and eye wise, but they’re mostly allextremely short, my oh is 5ft4. But then his brother is bizarrely 6ft1. A few years back I used to babysit 3 beautiful little girls, one blonde and grey eyed, one ginger with green, and one brown with blue. Are you really that hung up on having a perfectly designed baby that matches your choice of hair and eye shades? Natural life isn’t like that.

Also this. Are you going to love the child less after going through all this trouble trying to colour match a donor, and she produces a dark hair brown eyed baby? This isn’t what this should be about imo

I have 3 DC all same father, 1 has blue gray eyes bright blonde hair, 1 has green eyes mousy blonde hair and the last has dark brown eyes, blonde hair.

There will always be variations in each family. I was the only one in my family with curly blonde hair. My brother had straight dark brown hair.

Good luck with your search.

Not how genetics works.

A good illustration of everything wrong with surrogacy and 'donation'.

yes, indeed that is what I have been told by now. Thank you for your helpful comment. There were a few more helpful thoughts in this threads, thank you all for the helpful suggestions.
It is important to me to ensured as much as possible that the child’s biological identity within our family is never questioned by the child itself or others. Going for a particular phenotype that is matching me is about the only way to do it that is in our hands. The rest is Mother Nature. There is the reason why so many clinics match the donor to the mother’s phenotype. In some countries it is actually law.

I have seen quite a few negative and frankly inappropriate comments below. I hope it helped the writers to get rid of some negative thoughts that were clearly bothering them. I shall leave all those comments unattended, as they are not my issue and they are not answering the question about banks with wider profiles.

if anyone knows of great banks with wider profile please share, thank you.

I started in U.K. but gave up on it as what I saw was not what would match our profile. So now looking internationally.

It is important to me to ensured as much as possible that the child’s biological identity within our family is never questioned by the child itself or others.

I understand why you want a donor which looks likes you, and that that’s important. I’d be the same. But I hope this doesn’t mean you are planning to conceal from the child how they were conceived. The child has the right to know their full biological history. In the UK donors don’t have the right to anonymity after any children conceived by them reach 18, which was put in place after it was observed it was important for many children to be able to understand their biological background in addition to the loving family they were raised in. This is especially important in an age where home DNA kits are so accessible so you have no way to guarantee the secret.

It won’t be a big deal to your child to grow up with the knowledge they were donor conceived. It could well be a big deal to discover the huge secret their parents kept from them when they are an adult.

Me and my dh have conceived 2 children naturally. We both have brown hair and brown eyes and our youngest has light coloured hair and blue eyes. No one has ever mentioned it as a thing, I think you are worrying about nothing!

Find a Scandinavian donor.

If both parents have blue eyes then people absolutely would comment on a child with brown eyes as it's just so hugely unlikely. It's fine to pick a donor. The US has the largest and most detailed choice.

@portaide my mother had blue eyes and blonde hair and I'm brunette with brown eyes so there really isn't a strong link / guarantee of anything. Not once did anyone ever question if we were biologically related.

@bakewellbride Yes but assuming your father had brown eyes that's to be expected. Blue eyes are recessive and if both parents carry blue eyes genes you get blue eyed kids.

Agree you'd likely need a Scandinavian donor to find a naturally blonde adult woman.

A blond haired blue eyed donor does not guarantee a blond haired blue eyed child

The other way round isn't guaranteed either. Looking at you DC1.

DF has 4 DC. Both her and her DH have very dark hair and eyes. First DC is blonde and blue eyed, the other 3 have dark hair and eyes like the DPs. When their DC1 was younger she's sometimes be asked if the first one had a different father.

I can totally understand where you're coming from OP but I don't think you can guarantee eye colour?

Last thing I would want is the child on top of coming from a donor egg also being questioned its entire life, why it does not look like any of us and if we are the real parents.

My brother and I are (sperm) donor conceived, from different donors, look completely different and nothing like our dad and not only did no one ever question us but we never even questioned it ourselves and only found out in later life. So I think your fears of this constant life ty cross examination are OTT and unfounded. As long as they're the same ethnicity you don't need to all match to look like you're related. Most blondes darken as they grow up anyhow. It's all bit village of the damned to want blonde haired blue eyed kids.

I can totally understand where you're coming from OP but I don't think you can guarantee eye colour?

I thought with two blue eyed parents you could, the gene is recessive so blue eyed parents would have two copies of the blue eyed gene. Brown eyed parents can have a blue eyed child if they are both a carrier.

It is actually so very much more complex than that, genetically-speaking, and there are no guarantees. It isn't mendelian inheritance, not by a long way.

They wouldn't have brown eyes though would they? It would be something like grey-blue or green?

It would depend on previous generations! You will find case after case after case of two blue or blue-ish eyed parents having children with brown eyes: probably not dark brown or nearly black but some form of brown.

Try Norway. Very blond.

But - is it that important? I am adopted (foster care) and no one questions that I am my parents' daughter. Most people don't realize that they aren't genetic.

I donated my eggs at fertility clinic in Glasgow. I have fair hair and blue eyes. A vegan CrossFitter so I'd say pretty healthy. As far as I know they are still available. I donated a total of 21 eggs.