Donor egg from fair hair, blue eyed women to match our family visually

[Gaston25]

after a very long painful reproduction journey and one blue eyed blonde child we are now considering a donor egg, but it seems no very hard to find an egg donor who is (of course healthy) but visually would also match our family’s look and therefore were a blonde (fair hair) and blue /grey eyed type. Last thing I would want is the child on top of coming from a donor egg also being questioned its entire life, why it does not look like any of us and if we are the real parents. If anyone has seen egg banks with that profile could you please share here? Thank you.

Hey I am not bothered about eye colour per se. I put it in to maximum describe our family. And a phenotype we are after. I have the feeling many don’t know what phenotype means and are just here to unload their feelings. (I don’t mean you but the many accusations I received ) Genetics don’t work in a way that you are guaranteed anything. We wish for a similar phenotype of a fair haired donor like our entire family (and that’s why I asked about it in this thread ) and statistically they are more likely to have grey/ green /blue / eyes and rarely brown eyes.

Would you be disappointed if, despite your best efforts, your child turns up with brown hair and brown eyes?

No - It's actually not impossible. We used to think so, but now we know different. It IS pretty rare, but it IS possible

THIS! THANK YOU!
It makes me happy that a reader actually understands the notion of the post!!!! As the majority is offering unsolicited lessons on genetics or how to love a child or just question our readiness to be parents of a child from a donor egg, and telling me to seek counselling based on the question I posed.

I am just interested in donor banks with wider phenotypes that would include that of our existing family for the very reasons you brought up. Thank you again for actually reading the post for what it is.

Agree with every word. Thank you for understanding the question for what it is.

I am adopted, look nothing like my parents, but people (who didn’t know I was adopted) saw similarities!

I have always known I was adopted, can’t remember not knowing. Whether your child looks like other members of the family or not, they should know that they come from a donor egg.

Of course not 🤣. I am sorry it’s almost a ridiculous question to ask. The child is still 50% dna of my hb. So what will be will be. But one can try to give the child an easy start and physical assimilation into the family.

It seems a reasonable question to ask, in light of this thread. Especially as this is something you care enough about to look internationally.

The vast majority of people who have posted on here about the different hair and eye colours in their family have stated there is some brown hair and/or brown eyes in one or both of the parents (i.e. dominant genes that hide the blue eyed / blond haired recessive genes you can pass on to your children). Frankly unless you are two blond haired blue eyed children who have magically had a child with dark eyes and/or dark hair it's irrelevant. While it is theoretically possible for two blue eyed parents to have a brown eyed child it's very rare because it would need exactly the right combination of genes.

I can completely understand why someone with blond hair and blue eyes would want an equally fair child, just like a couple with very dark colouring would not want a child with very light colouring. It attracts unwanted attention from strangers. If you are somewhere in the continuum between those extremes then you've probably never been questioned about your family connections but it does happen and is at best annoying, at worst distressing.

My Spanish friend has two blond children (her husband is northern European and very blond) and random people in the street would assume she was the nanny, nobody would believe she was their Mum. She said she eventually gave up trying to convince them otherwise.

Yes, did do a follow-up read on Nature which was interesting. Everyday’s a school day! 😊

Will you tell your future child the truth or not OP?

Be aware that if you don’t, they are likely to find out eventually.

I don’t think you’re interested in discovering how donor conceived adults feel, but if anyone reading the thread would like to know more, the results of survey about us are here, among other things:
https://www.wearedonorconceived.com/intended-parents/using-sperm-donor-egg-donor/

There is something about the OP's posts that makes me deeply uneasy. A very uncomfortable thread indeed.

Firstly, the OP's obsession with whether or not her child might have the right look for her family. Secondly, the ambiguity about whether or not she would even tell the poor child that they are donor conceived.

This is really interesting - I definitely didn’t know there was a magazine!!! 😁

What an unkind and snide post.

The OP has explained why they would prefer a child to 'match' their sibling and her and her husband. It's a very reasonable explanation and there is nothing that suggests she is 'obsessed' with it. I don't know why you would use such a negative word.

It's up to the OP if she wants to clarify how and when she would tell her kid they were conceived with a donor egg. It's of no relevance to her OP so it's a bit ridiculous to say that it makes you 'deeply uneasy'. What she is trying to avoid is for the child to be constantly questioned about whether she is adopted or not.

If you can't comprehend how it might be easier for a child to 'match' the rest of her family when she is the only one who has been conceived by donor egg then maybe you need to give it a little more thought.

Apologies if I have misinterpreted this as it’s a personal thing…. but it sounds like you plan to lie to your child / pretend they are biologically yours.

2 of my friends used donor eggs and the reason I know is the advice /guidance is not to be secretive or lie about it.
if your child finds out as an adult (which can easily happen for a number of reasons) it can have a huge impact.

It is almost impossoble for two blue eyed parents to have a brown eyed child. There is a very very slim chance but in order to produce those two blue eyed parents, they both. inherited to blue eyed alleles each. So their offspring will be blue/grey/green mix, Both parents with blue eyes: 99% chance of baby with blue eyes, 1% chance of baby with green eyes, 0% chance of baby with brown eyes. Both parents with green eyes: 75% chance of baby with green eyes, 25% of baby with blue eyes, 0% chance of baby with brown eyes. I grant you that there is a v ery very very small chance of an oddity in that.