Anyone else doing donor IVF imminently?

[EL8888]

We are doing donor egg / own sperm imminently. Anyone else in the same boat?

Hi EL8888
I am currently in the 2WW! It’s only day one and the hours are going so slowly! When do you start?

@GreyGoose1980 hello! I wasn’t expecting a response so soon -this board is quieter than a lot of other boards. How are you feeling? Meant to be starting Tuesday but of course my period is late (clearly my body playing tricks on me!). So starting the pill tomorrow hopefully

Hi @EL8888
I remember that feeling, my period was a couple of days late too. Once I’d started the meds I felt much calmer. I’m feeling a bit anxious today as I got a call from the clinic to say my progesterone was low so now on injections (which I had during my OE ivf.) I’m always anxious during the two week wait. I’m off work for a week so on this board a lot 😀

@GreyGoose1980 so it’s not just me then. It’s weird that in over 2.5 years of trying then this happens. Not that l think it means anything at all

Being off work is a double edged sword isn’t it? But lm guessing you want to take it easy and also have leave to use up -l have been asking people to do the same at work. How long are you going to wait until you test? How are you with injections? So far l have only been prescribed pessaries and oral meds. My fiancé is a nurse so that is his job if we have to get the needles out -he did it during our own eggs cycle

How many people have you told what you’re doing? How did you pick your donor? I think we have ours, she’s super close to me but the skin. My mum is mixed race and my dad is Irish so l look quite Mediterranean which the clinic seem to be struggling with. Sorry for the question bombardment-l don’t know anyone in real life who has done this or considered it

@EL8888
It must be useful having a fiancé who is a nurse. My partner tried to do some of the injections but he wasn’t that confident so I found it easier to do them!

No worries about the questions! It’s great to find others at a similar stage as none of my RL friends have had DE ivf. I have told my mum and sister (but don’t tell them timescales to avoid too many questions) and two close friends in RL. I told these friends in more detail as one is currently having ivf with her OE / thinking about moving to DE and the other has had infertility issues in the past so both understand. I haven’t mentioned it to my other friends but if it worked I’d probably let a few more people know it was DE.

Choosing a donor was tricky. We spent a while choosing one and decided to order the eggs the next day to find that they were purchased by someone else in the interim. We therefore quickly chose another one. My only real criteria at that point was a donor of similar height build and broadly similar skin tone to me with ten eggs available. DP and I look quite different so hopefully if one element of the match isn’t like me people will just assume the child takes after DP or his family. It was also important to me to have a donor that could be traced at 18 if possible rather than go abroad, although some of those clinics looked very good and less expensive!

I am going to try and wait it out until the weekend of 13/14 March as my test date is Mon 15 March but I’d rather test at the weekend. It’s exciting you are about to start? Are you taking Progynova and then cyclogest? How are you feeling?

@GreyGoose1980 we are both nurses! Which yes, is quite helpful. A few people know we are doing this but lm going to be super hazy about the timings as well. So we can do it and then digest the outcome. Only a few people know about the donor part of it. Not that l think there is anything wrong with it but the easily fertile often don’t realise about the realities of IVF or how often is doesn’t work. We will be upfront with the child if it works out.

We are both pragmatic people, physically, financially and emotionally we couldn’t face another failed IVF round. Last time we just created loads of genetically abnormal embryos which was kind of pointless. We know this may well fail but as least we have tried to swing the odds with donor egg and CHIPS / MAC for sorting his sperm

Eugh that’s tough about the eggs, the occurrence of that never went through my head. Our stumbling blocks have been my eyes and skin -lm a very average height, weight and blood group. My fiancé looks similar to with build / body shape -we also both have long legs. But his hair is darker and his skin is lighter. We are going for a foreign clinic which was going ok. Yesterday’s bombshell was our dates aren’t what the co-ordinar said they were. So we had a last minute scramble at the end of work to switch annual leave dates. Oh and flight prices have rocketed

I started taking the pill yesterday EVENTUALLY. The rest of the meds are going to arrive next week. Definitely Cyclogest but can’t remember the rest?

Yes, l can see why you would rather test at the weekend. I did that last time and will try to do the same this time. I’m ok just drained thanks to a busy week. How about you?

Hi there, I'm not starting quite as imminently @EL8888 but hopefully in the next few months.
@GreyGoose1980 good luck with the wait, it's bloody hard.

I will be having a FET abroad, have already got some embryos waiting and have done a mock cycle to see how I respond to the medication. Will travel as soon as possible, it might have to be on my own due to DH's work, if so I'll have to pack light or I'll be worried about lifting a heavy suitcase after transfer!
I've done quite a lot of OE IVF and this will be first donor attempt. DH and I look very different and I look very different from some of my family members so if a future baby doesn't look like me I don't think it will be 'noticeable' to others, but maybe to me, who knows?
It's great that the donor option exists, I'm just still not loving the idea but no IVF attempts have ever gone well so it's time to stop doing the same thing over and over and focus on the increased chances (hopefully).

@PinkGold good luck with it all

Do you mind me asking where abroad you’re going? For future FET’s (if we get that far!) then l have considered the option of going on my own because of the cost and time off work.

People see what they want to see. I remember taking my then boyfriend little brother out for the day. We were late teens and little brother was 3. We got a few comments about how much he looked like me -people thought he was our child! Genes are a funny thing anyway and you have epigenetics coming into play. People might think it strange if for example if l had a red haired child, but l know a few generations back a lot of my mum’s family had red hair

I’m not loving the idea but trying to be pragmatic. Like you l don’t the see the point of doing more and cycles the same, we wanted to spin the odds more in our favour

Hi @EL8888 and @PinkGold

Glad the wait to start is over EL8888. It sounds stressful arranging flights, at least you were able to get some though! How long do you need to stay there for? We are the same re. being pragmatic. We appeared to make a lot of good blastocysts but none worked so are trying to increase our odds too. What are CHIPS and MAC? I haven’t heard of that - we have MF issues.

@PinkGold - I felt the same about not wanting to do the same thing over and over. I just needed to do something different so was okay with it. Oddly enough I feel more happy with DE now I’ve had my transfer as I feel exactly the same towards it. A mock cycle sounds useful, do your clinic always do that? Are you okay going out on your own? I think I’d sometimes need to do that for any future FET abroad too due to DP and I not both being able to take the time off work.

All is okay here. I’m having some cramps / pains down my left hand side which I’ve had before when it hasn’t worked so a bit worried it’s not a good sign but trying to hope it’s just a progesterone reaction. I’m in that horrible place of spotting every symptom but as I’ve had a lot of transfers now, if I spot something that happened before I’m convinced it’s a sign it hasn’t worked. I’d normally distract myself by seeing people that know nothing about it but that’s not really working whilst we’re still in lockdown! Hope you are both having a good weekend.

@GreyGoose1980 we didn’t book the flights -l was just scoping them. Apparently we get the exact timetable next week so l wanted to hold fire until then. We will be staying there around a week. CHIPS and MACS will help sorting his sperm to get to some good ones, he has DNA fragmentation issues. We haven’t got any proper answers about our issues really. A well known London IVF clinic said one or both of us had issues after our cycle failed. No shit. I had worked that out a year or so before!

It could well be the progesterone. I remember having those kind of feelings last time. A friend of mine is having IVF and like you said it’s so hard to distract yourself right now. There are only so many trips to Sainsbury or Netflix episodes you can watch!!

@EL8888 glad things are starting for you.
I'm having treatment in Spain so can't travel there yet but hopefully soon enough.

I had progynova then progesterone (not cyclogest but similar) for my mock cycle @GreyGoose1980, it is standard with my clinic, it felt a bit annoying to have an extra step to do but they are fussy about how lining responds which ultimately is probably a good thing.
Very glad to hear you felt the same after transfer, that is reassuring. DH is very invested in our embryos and I'm not (yet) but I had told him to expect different reactions from us both and that it's still a bit abstract for me until I actually have the transfer.

You're right that people see what they want to see, you notice it with babies and often each grandmother is absolutely convinced that the baby takes after their side.

It sounds like we have all reached a similar conclusion about DE being the logical next step.

Regarding the symptom spotting, some people I know whose IVF worked had the same symptoms on successful and unsuccessful cycles. I know it's hard not to drive yourself mad. Also hard not to read too much into anything but try if possible!

It is not my preference to travel alone but since this process has cost so much if DH needs to stay for work to keep paying for it I'll just have to get on with it, the quarantine on return makes it more complicated. I suppose if I must look for a positive it will save us a few hundred on coronavirus tests if I travel alone.
I know plenty of people had transfers alone during coronavirus. I've always had DH there for egg collection/transfer though it was always own egg IVF so he did need to be there for EC and it was nice to have him waiting for me afterwards. But I'll do whatever is needed.

I'm currently working from home so want to get on with it so I don't have to tell work!

Oh and @EL8888 yes our flights are getting much more expensive too! Although they were a bit cheaper to start off with due to the pandemic. I should stop looking really but I can't help it. Which country do you need to travel to?

Hi @EL8888 and @PinkGold
How are you both doing?

@PinkGold I did my recent transfer alone a due to COVID and it wasn’t the same but wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. We phoned DP for the discussion ahead of the transfer so he was included in that. Appreciate going abroad also adds a different context tho. Also I think a mock cycle is a good idea as my clinic advised me my progesterone was low on the day of transfer and my meds needed increasing the next day and I assume a mock cycle would have identified that.

@EL8888 - Hope the meds are going okay. Are you doing a fresh or frozen DE cycle? We also have issues on both sides but after seven transfers and me turning 41 we moved to DE to increase our odds re the eggs.

All good here, still stressing about symptoms / cramps and trying to do some nice walks etc to distract myself. It’s weird the pains are all on the left hand side - if this hadn’t happened in the same way before on a number of OE cycles I’d be worrying more about a potential ectopic. The 2WW is the worst - apart from the fact I’m getting DP to make dinner more!

The 2WW is the worst. It’s like an eternity!!! Good on you for getting extras dinner from your DP. I agree that from what l have seen and others have told me, then the symptoms experienced don’t mean anything either way

Meh lm terrible. Fiancé is driving me mad with forgetting to take vitamins, distracted from the detail of it all, drinking alcohol etc. Combined with a random pregnancy announcement of a friend of his. I’ve been eating well and exercising but still can’t seem to lose much weight

@PinkGold we are going to Czech Republic. I didn’t book the flights yet as lm wondering if they might be another date change

Oh @GreyGoose1980 the 2WW is a true test of nerve, whilst I'm impatient to get started I just want someone to wake me up when it's time to test!
I can only give you the advice that I never took myself about not symptom spotting, or at least not reading too much into symptoms.
I'm not usually superstitious but the 2WW had me saluting magpies and finding meaning in all sorts of things.
Here to handhold.

My clinic will check hormone levels before and after transfer, I'll probably hang around for a few days after just to get checked as once I get back to the UK I will be quarantined.

@EL8888 sorry to hear things are rough.
I know it should be totally their responsibility but I bought those 7 day pill boxes for both of us and put vitamins in for the week, DH remembers to take them (and I can see if he hasn't!)
Hate the random pregnancy announcements, had a few of those a while back so the birth announcements will be soon. The pregnancy announcements can really floor me, DH's friend got pregnant while on the pill and was moaning about it, I haven't been near the pill in years and no hint of a pregnancy! That was meant to be empathy but has evolved into a moan, sorry.

Flight changes are a pain, we've been stung before by last minute changes. Quite a few times but one cycle where I stimmed for an eternity and had to spend a fortune on new flights, more medication which was surprisingly much more expensive in Spain, accommodation for an extra week and a ridiculous airport parking charge when we got home. Couldn't even go out and have fun in case we caught covid before transfer.

To try to end on a positive note I hope your dates are confirmed soon!

And @GreyGoose1980 sending patience your way!

Thanks both!

How are you?

Am back to work tomorrow which will be quite hectic and so the next couple of days should go more quickly.

@PinkGold - Did you do your OE cycles at the same clinic? Do you know the area fairly well? At least the weather will be nicer than here if you do need to stay around a bit afterwards. I know what you mean about the pregnancy announcements, especially those who ‘weren’t even properly trying’.

@EL8888
My DP can be the same. In my ideal world he would be the one ensuring we both took our vitamins / meds and doing most of the ‘life admin’ for this on the grounds that I take meds and have medical procedures, but that’s not quite the case!! Hope your dates are confirmed soon.

@GreyGoose1980 how has being back at work been? Hopefully busy enough to distract but not enough to stress you

@PinkGold l have heard some excellent things about Spain. Yep and they always seem to come in threes from my experience

I’m glad this week is over! Work has been very busy and stressful. Not helped by the worst work laptop ever -can’t believe l haven’t launched out a window and into the garden! No meds or protocol as yet. I’ve resigned from the wife work of it and fiancé is meant to be taking over

Work has been very busy, hope it was for you too @GreyGoose1980 to act as a distraction for the last few days.

I have done OE cycles at this clinic and know the area well.
You're right about the weather, I will book an apartment with a balcony so I can work outside. Restaurants are open but we'll probably avoid them so it will be nice to have outside space to eat.

I'll be thinking of you and your test and hoping for good news.

@EL8888 hope you have a good weekend and maybe by now some clarity on dates.

@EL8888 we must have been typing at the same time.
Sorry work was so stressful this week. IT issues are the pits. I see that you haven't got meds and protocol just yet, fingers crossed you'll have confirmation soon.

Glad to hear your fiancé is taking over, just tell the clinic all communication to him!

Hi both

Hope all is okay.

@EL8888 Although I had loads to catch up on , work was actually a welcome distraction! I think I’d been spending too much time analysing every symptom. Hope your work is less hectic next week and you get the meds and protocol soon, delays make this process so much harder!

Things are not looking good! I tested today - ten days post transfer and it hadn’t worked. My official test day is Monday but past experience tells me that’s just a formality now. This will be my 8th transfer of high grade blastocysts (first DE) so I’m really not sure what to do next. I’m going to stop and seek a consultation at the implantation clinic before transferring the frozen embryos from this cycle. Sad times!

@PinkGold
I think we all posted at the same time as I didn’t see your post of earlier today when I posted! Glad you are going to a familiar clinic (if you do need to go without Your DH). Hope work isn’t too hectic next week!

Oh @GreyGoose1980 I'm so sorry 💐
Take it very easy this weekend, here if you want to chat but otherwise you and DP do what you need to do to get through, those stark white tests are awful and so unfair after so many attempts.

Thanks @PinkGold

@GreyGoose1980 so sorry to hear this . This journey is so hard. A consultation sounds like a good idea. Thinking of you xx

@PinkGold lm loving the sound of the balcony and some sun. I’m now wondering how warm Prague will be next month