Anyone starting egg donation July/August?

[Leala20]

We maybe starting our egg donation treatment (first time) July/August and I thought maybe there’s anyone here that would like to join me. Ive found this forum very useful and supportive and thought I would reach out as I cannot believe it is so soon and getting a bit nervous. We had a year of rollercoaster of trying for many years to being finally told my amh is too low and I wouldn’t qualify for IVF. We did our research and found DCN very useful and are really excited about it.

I am going for my second scan today and will update you. I wanted to ask you something if you don’t mind. Have you told your manager you’re going through this? As we are in these very challenging times and there’s many jobs at stake plans being made workwise I feel sometime this moment of guilt that I am choosing to do it now. At the same time I know infertility has been with me for years now and I have the right to be a mother but maybe as it’s so close I have all these thoughts.

I'm currently a stay at home mum, so I don't have a manager to tell, however if I did, I don't think I would tell him/her. I would use annual leave.for appointments etc. My husband works in computer games, which is thankfully a thriving industry during these times. However, I think if you are currently in work and can afford it, now is the perfect time do do this. If time goes by and things do change financially, there may never be another opportunity, and we (sadly) can't reverse time. As we get older it becomes harder to do as well. I know clinics will do the process up until age 50 but there is only so far we can go towards that line before other problems arrise with age. I say take the opportunity and run with it. Don't feel guilty, this is your chance, and you deserve it. So much has been lost through these times, let's bring some happiness.

@Leala20 my dh is coming along on Thursday to leave a sample. He’s getting really stressed out and feels a lot of pressure about it. We have had a couple of dodgy sperm analysis results along the way. The doctors think that with ICSI it’ll be fine though. Hope your scan went well btw! Are you using donor or partner’s sperm?

About work, we have decided not to tell anyone. I work in a really small company and I don’t feel comfortable sharing this with my manager. If I worked in a bigger company with a HR department then I might let them know. As you say, we are perfectly within our rights to want a family and some companies will have policies in place to support employees going through fertility treatment. This is not the case at my workplace so I don’t see any benefit in sharing.
As it is, we are going to have to be a bit sneaky. We have both just said that we have a doctor's appointment on Thursday morning (it’s true!). I’m not sure how it is in the UK but in Spain you are allowed time off for doctor’s appointments. I’ll go in afterwards and DH will go to work first and leave early. The clinic have confirmed that the transfer will be on the 21st in the early afternoon so we will both take the afternoon off. Hopefully our bosses will be ok with this.... How do you think you will manage it? Taking annual leave is also a good option if you can.

@Cleozeta Hope you’re doing well. Next few weeks will come around in no time. I do hate waiting though!

@Cafeambllet wow 21st for transfer, that has come around quick! I have all my fingers, toes and everything crossed for you.

I am still waiting to ovulate so I know when AF will start and it's totally unpredictable. It's crap not being able to plan anything, as I've currently got no idea when we'll be away for the week that we'll need to be in our clinic. Things are starting to come up for the next few months that we need to plan or book in, but it's impossible to commit with the uncertainty of when we'll be away. Small problems I know, but annoying 🤣

To be honest I like to worry about little things, it helps to distract from the big!!!

Morning Ladies, all went well yesterday and it’s true it’s all very quick! DH needs to go there Friday and I have it booked for Wednesday.... starting cyclones to Friday too. @Cleozeta it will fly by and you’ll be there soon. Excited but nervous and definitely having a couple of glasses of wine this Friday!

Thanks @Cleozeta!

Our donor had her egg collection and my DH left his sample today. The clinic will call tomorrow to let us know how many have fertilized. I had my lining scan and it was good so I start progesterone tonight. Excited and nervous too at the same time. It’s also pretty mind blowing to think that (hopefully) our embryos have now been created.
@Leala20 we really are doing it at the same time! Good luck for tomorrow! I will also be having a glass of wine!

I'm loving hearing how you are both getting on, it really happens so quickly!
My meds arrived today, I can't believe how much there is! Crazy.
I think I must be almost exactly 1 month behind you both. I just missed out on going for this last cycle unfortunately

@Cafeambllet well done! We have just been talking about it that tomorrow for us will be potentially the day of conception whatever happens! How bizarre it is! Any tips for my hubby tomorrow? :) they also mentioned they would call me Saturday to tell us how many have thawed and fertilised.

@Cleozeta you’re so close and it’s so exciting! You have really time now to relax and just enjoy the moment. After all this wait I was really surprised how fast this has come! If we are not successful this time I will most likely try next cycle ( I hope from the eggs thaw process and fertilisation we will have enough) but have never been through ivf so really nervous as all this is new!

Hi ladies, I'm in background following your journeys and crossing everything for you!
I know Cleozeta from other threads and wish you all best of luck!
I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with DE.

I'm not sure if you know but there's a huge DE community on Instagram. If you search for Definigmum, from there you'll see lots of ladies in our similar situations. Some of the ladies formed their own group and zoom regularly (I'm part of them)

Anyway, hope you'll find it helpful

Hi @Russkispy congratulations on your pregnancy! Thanks for the tip about Instagram. I will definitely have a look.

No tips for your hubby @Leala20, mine just said it was a weird experience!

@Cleozeta I know what you mean about the meds, never seen so many pills in my life!

I had the call from the clinic this morning. We got 4 eggs from our donor and only one has fertilized. I’m a bit gutted but trying to stay positive. This is not what we were expecting.. They’ll call again on Sunday to let us know if/ how it’s developing.

Hi @russkispy wow 24 weeks! That's amazing, congrats!
How many attempts did it take in the end?
I have signed up to 2 cycles, each cycle has 6 frozen eggs, so hoping at least one will work!
How many cycles have you girls signed up to?
@Cafeambllet it only takes one, and that one could be it!

Thanks girls!
My donor was 29 last year when they collected her eggs and she produced 15! And still by the day 5, we had 15! Incredible! And on day 6 before freezing them, we had 12!

My first DE FET was in October and it was BFP but sadly 4 days later ended in CP. did various blood tests, prolactin levels were through the roof. Was put on meds and then went for 2nd FET in February and here I am!

Instagram DE community is huge and very helpful!

Yep, it only takes one! Fingers crossed...We are signed up for a package that guarantees to transfer 1 blastocyst and if that doesn’t result in a pregnancy, a second transfer. The second could be with a frozen one (if there were any) or they will make another, possibly with a new donor. There was no information about the number of eggs - we were told that this wasn’t relevant as what they promise is the transfer of 1 and if that fails, another. Anyway, if we don’t make it to Tuesday, we will have to start again.

Have you told anyone that you’re doing this? We haven’t told anyone so I’m so happy to have found you girls!

@Cafeambllet will be crossing everything for you!

We haven't told anyone but my Insta DE community and a very close friend of mine.

I already have a DD, she's my OE.

We haven't shared with anyone and won't for various personal reasons. And we're comfortable with that.

But everyone is different as how they handle this. There's no right or wrong in this.

@Russkispy that's great that they tell you the age, we don't have that information, only that they are under 35. Sounds like you had a great result from yours. We are using frozen so get a guaranteed 6 eggs. Not sure what happens to the rest if there are more, maybe donated to someone else?
We have only told our parents, as we decided they probably ought to know. Will you be telling the child that they are donor conceived? We'll be telling them from early on in the hope it'll just be part of who they are and no big deal. We are going to tell our older children at some point, a bit concerned about that as we won't be telling anyone outside the family and my eldest is a blabber mouth 🤣

@cafeambllet that sounds like a great package. Hopefully you won't need any further treatment as this will be it!

Hello Ladies! I am so happy we are chatting and I must admit I have been secretly following Defining Mum but did not want to Like it as didn’t want the rest of my network to know. Are these groups on instagram private? I probably sound silly but have been really trying to keep things private on social media. @Cafeambllet well done this is the first one and it only takes one good egg and if anything you have a plan. I have no experience in this but have heard many times it’s the quality that matters. @Cleozeta I only paid for once cycle but chose 10 eggs instead of the standard 6 frozen as I wanted to maximise the chances and if needed to have more I was told it would be about 3k do we reviewed that and went for this. If we have any left and have been successful then hope one day for a sibling but as I have been so unlucky here step by step we think it may take a few times. I only fell pregnant once two months ago that ended up in chemical, so until then I wasn’t even sure I could fall pregnant. Let’s see but our expectations are low for the first cycle as it’s all new to us. Unbelievable thinking now the speed has met the egg and potentially there’s something there for the future whatever the cycle as they will froze the rest. I hope there will be some left.
@Russkispy nice to meet you and congratulations! Thank you for sharing your experience.

@Cleozeta we still have 10 frozen embryos of 5ABs.
We won't be sharing any info with anyone including children. Again for various reasons.

Have you got more info about your donor than just her approximate age?

@Leala20, Definingmum is very open about her journey. And lots of them are open account with open identities and some of them open accounts but just Insta handles. It all varies. And there's definitely no judgment and huge support and they're connected to all different links etc

@Leala20 10 eggs is great, you should definitely have some success with that amount. Fingers crossed for a sibling too!

@russkispy that's great that you have so many embryo's left, do you think you will go for a sibling?

We were given hair colour, eye colour, height, BMI, occupation, a letter describing who she is character wise, and a letter to potential future child.

I must admit, I considered telling no one, not even the child, but decided against that after reading up on some forums etc. I think it's a very personal decision, and different takes will work for different people. I can totally see the benefits of both options. Part of me wishes we didn't have to say anything to be honest!

You're right @Cleozeta everyone is in different positions and only they can decide what's the best for their family and children going forward.

I think we're probably done after this pregnancy. We're expecting a baby boy, and with our DD, we feel our family is complete 💙💓

Just dropping in to say good luck everyone. I started my DE cycle in July a couple of years ago and was pregnant by the end of August.
We were very lucky but it can happen that quickly.

For those asking about timescales, I remember having to down reg for a couple of extra weeks so that I was in sync with my donor.

I really hope you are all successful, it was the best thing we’ve ever done!

I will add I only had one cycle and one decent egg (from 10 initially) but it was fine luckily. So don’t worry if the numbers aren’t huge by the time you get to blast stage

Thank you ladies. We also will be open with the child about it but have only told the families now and with time we will choose who to should know and then the child decide later.

@Russkispy a boy! How lovely, so pleased for you

@OneDEonenot thanks for your input! It's great to hear from someone who has been through it already.

@Leala20 and @Cafeambllet which day of your cycle did you have your lining scan? Also which day did your partner's give their samples? Was it same day as lining scan?

@Cleozeta I had first scan on day 3 or 4 of my cycle and then they asked me to start taking the pills and I was due for a scan a week after to see the lining again. My DH gave his sample Friday abd I am to have transfer next week.