Same sex couple TTC

[ameliagracexo]

Hi everyone.

Myself and my partner (same sex) have been trying to conceive through a donor and our choice of method is artificial insemination. We have been using the Flo app for around eight months to track our cycles. We both received donations around the time Flo said we were ovulating. My ovulation was 1st June and I received a donation on 30th and 31st May.
My period was due on 15th June and so far, nothing. During the days between donations and my expected period date, I've had extreme dizziness and nausea, bad headaches, loose stools most days (sorry for TMI!!), and sore breasts. The past three days, so after period was due, I've been having cramps. They're the same intensity of normal period cramps but they just pass after around half an hour to an hour whereas my period cramps before I usually come on, are constant and even painkillers don't take them away. My friends keep telling me they think I'm pregnant but every pregnancy test has come back negative. I've taken early detection ones, the thin strip ones from B&M and Home Bargains as well as their regular ones and I've even taken Clear Blue early detection tests. I'm so confused because I don't know if I'm pregnant or my period is just late. My fiancee came on five days late and five days late for me is tomorrow.

Any advice?

Thank you in advance

Hi @ameliagracexo - just wanted to check in. Did you get the result you wanted? I’m also in a same-sex relationship having our first round of IUI

@ameliagracexo @bananahammock23 Same-sex couple over here too waves

We have our consultation next week and I'm hoping to have my first IUI in August. Looking at sperm donors at the moment which is so much harder than I thought! How did you pick yours?

Hey, unfortunately not. My period came a couple of days later. Good luck on your journey

@chestermaguire We didn't do it through the doctors or anything. We used an app called Just A Baby to find our donor. It took us 7 months to find the perfect match for us. There's a lot of guys on there who just want a quick way for sex or need 'help' to produce.

Sorry to hear that @ameliagracexo - what's your plan now?

@chestermaguire good luck with starting your treatment! We bought our sperm (feels weird saying that!) from the European Sperm Bank. They had a good selection. We also have loads of lesbian friends and didn't fancy going through somewhere like London Sperm Bank and all ending up with half siblings we weren't too picky with our donor. It's so easy to be too indecisive and spend months choosing! We found one we liked the look of and just knew it was The One! I like that on European Sperm Bank you can see baby photos too. Makes a huge difference. It's expensive to get it shipped over though - lots of hidden costs so check with your clinic! Good luck!!

I’m not in a same-sex couple but I have been through 13 cycles of TTC. Are you just relying on the app? When I started using OPKs, I noticed my app was massively off in its prediction of when I ovulate.

@BananaHammock23 we're going to keep trying. Our donor isn't available this month so we'll try again next month

@BeingATwatItsABingThing We've started using them the last couple of months. We've been using the app since last year. A lot of people have said that the app isn't too great at predicting ovulation

[quote ameliagracexo]@BeingATwatItsABingThing We've started using them the last couple of months. We've been using the app since last year. A lot of people have said that the app isn't too great at predicting ovulation[/quote]
They go on averages and standard cycles. Definitely can’t be relied upon.

Good luck with TTC!

@BananaHammock23 ESB is one of our top picks too, the London Sperm Bank has way too few donors to make a confident decision! I'm definitely feeling the pressure to find 'The One' but I'm worried I won't feel that click with any of them. I'm trying not to overthink it but easier said than done!

When's your first IUI?

Same sex couple here too. Choosing the ‘right’ donor feels so difficult!

@ameliagracexo have I read your OP correctly in that you and your partner are both trying to conceive at the same time? (I know a couple who did this.) If I’ve got that right can I ask your reasoning?

@chestermaguire totally get you! It’s a tough decision but try not to put too much weight on it. ESB are great and there are new people uploaded all the time so keep an eye on it and you’ll find the one!

We were supposed to have IUI yesterday but had a bit of a devastating blow when we went in for the baseline scan. The nurse said she couldn’t find my ovary (reckons it’s because I have a high BMI, which I’ve repeatedly been told won’t be a problem with IUI) so couldn’t go ahead really gutted, spent all day yesterday in bed feeling sorry for myself and now just focussing I’m getting healthier for next month. We have another scan on Thursday for a second opinion too.

@BananaHammock23 Ah no I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope your scan on Thursday goes well and you get some answers and can start back up next cycle. This process has so many uncertainties.

@RedRed9 Welcome! I'm currently trying to pick a donor and sending myself a bit mad with it, I have a handful shortlisted which I'd be happy with but none are feeling like 'The One'

Hi All,

Thought I’d join as I’m in 2WW to find out if our ivf has worked. Over 4 years of trying First at home then iuis, then ivf and these are our last embabies so hoping and praying! Trying to stay sane...

@BananaHammock23
its so awful when thing stop a cycle! Different drs and clinics do say different things though so good luck with your second opinion!

@BuffyFanForever That's exciting! Although sorry to hear it's been a difficult journey so far. Fingers and toes crossed for you. How're you passing the time?

My clinic called yesterday and my initial appointment got brought forward so I actually had my first scan and blood test yday, the scan went well, I was on O day so had a big juicy follicle ready to drop! Now awaiting blood test results and video consultation, and will hopefully order our sperm next week for IUI #1

How's the sperm hunt going @chestermaguire

[quote chestermaguire]@BuffyFanForever That's exciting! Although sorry to hear it's been a difficult journey so far. Fingers and toes crossed for you. How're you passing the time?

My clinic called yesterday and my initial appointment got brought forward so I actually had my first scan and blood test yday, the scan went well, I was on O day so had a big juicy follicle ready to drop! Now awaiting blood test results and video consultation, and will hopefully order our sperm next week for IUI #1[/quote]
Ooh how exciting! Lots of good luck for your iui! I’m just working lots and trying not to go crazy. Official test day is Monday but we are going to test tomorrow morning!

Fingers crossed for you @BuffyFanForever! Do let us know how you get on x

@BananaHammock23 Thanks for asking, we've got a 'sperm date' (GROSS) in the diary on Sunday to look at our longlist and hopefully shortlist to 2-3. I'm still waiting for my blood test results so I think we'll try and narrow down to a CMV pos & neg donor and then make the final decision once we've spoken to the clinic.

In the meantime, I am daydreaming ENDLESSLY about all things babies and pregnancy. Any news on your scan?

@chestermaguire ha! A sperm date sounds awful but probably the best way to do it. I think we were a bit rash in the end and just wanted to order the stuff and get it over with! It's so easy to get caught up in the details, so we just decided not to focus on any! I have to admit we didn't even look at the CMV thing but our donor is positive... Clinic haven't mentioned anything so just going to assume all is ok!

I know exactly what you mean re babies/pregnancy. It's all I can think about at the minute but trying to distract myself. The second opinion scan went really well and everything is fine to start stimulated IUI next cycle which is really exciting, but trying not to get my hopes up as I've seen how hard the fall is this month. Are you still aiming for August cycle start?

Ah I remember sperm dates...wife and I must have spent every weekend for months and months in a coffee shop with laptops and notebooks researching making lists etc! We did our test yesterday and it was positive!!! So shocked and delighted! It’s been a long road and we are so hopeful this is our turn. Blood test with clinic on Monday!

Such lovely news @BuffyFanForever - congratulations! Great to hear a success story xx

Such lovely news @BuffyFanForever - congratulations! Great to hear a success story xx

Also @BuffyFanForever - if you don't mind me asking, how many rounds of IUI did you do before moving to IVF? I'm thinking we'll give it a go once but after that go straight to IVF. I think costs would be the same all told x

@BananaHammock23 The computer ate my reply 🤦🏼‍♀️ Good to hear about your second scan, I guess we really have to advocate for ourselves in this process and trust our instincts. When’s your next cycle due to start? How exciting! Are you doing anything to prep? I’m still on the fence about medicated vs unmediated cycles, was there anything in particular that made you decide to do it stimulated?

We’re still hoping for August, the ladies of Queerception on Reddit (a good place if you don’t know it!) are very much ‘manage your expectations, it could take months to start’ but our clinic have no waiting lists and say on their website they can start next cycle if you have everything done (sperm, tests, counselling) so we’re hopeful. The biggest ‘to do’ is still to nail down our donor yet, we’ve found a few we like but no one that we’re 100% on. There’s a few good ones which are out of stock.

@BuffyFanForever Congratulations on your exciting news!! You two must be absolutely over the moon, wishing you the best for your blood test. Did you do anything differently this time round?

For context BananaHammock, I’ve read that 3-4 rounds of IUI is optimum for success, I don’t know about your clinic but ours is about £900 for IUI (cheaper if you buy 3 rounds) and about £5000 per IVF round. They do offer huge discounts on egg donations but obviously that’s a very personal choice. Our plan is 4 x IUI and if we don’t have success then we’ll likely move on to IVF with egg donation