TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

That's such great news :) we were really not wanting to go through a clinic if we can avoid it ! Still going to wait for the test results we could do on the nhs just to make sure everything is working fine and tubes not blocked . Then I guess it's go time :)

Did you order for a specific date or do you have to time your order so it arrives on the right day ?

Feel free to dm me too if you fancy a chat , it's a big relief talking to someone on the same journey :)

@2mumsquad it's super easy.... although I spent days hovering over the buy now button... because I'm a wimp!

So, you need to set yourself up an account, choose a human, then, once that's done, you need to make your purchase .

You can do that early, then choose a despatch date (2working days) from despatch date.

Either way, you need to get your order in 2days prior to a despatch date, which is A LOT of period math...

But all I would say is do it... super easy, wish I had done it years ago. (Although, frankly comedic mid process... not quite how I'd imagined it happening!)

Love to dm... no idea how that would happen... is there a button?!

@Freezerbump I can't believe your gp said that to you . Thats horrible . Screw them ! Ours just completely did the bloods on the wrong dates so we thought my hormones were totally off , turns out I was just ovulating , they never even asked me about my period ... oh well guess we have to be our own healthcare providers 😉

@2mumsquad totally!

I would, if I were you, spend a couple of months with the clear blue ovulation stick machine.... every morning wee on it, just so you get your rhythm.

I'm pretty regular, 26 standard, but I ovulate around 11 days pre af, so pretty late, so then is when you want to pounce, I'm fertile from day 8 to 15 then super smiley for 2 days then gone.

So for me, as soon as that solid smiley is on then I am, others is just an early warning, when you've got mail coming timing is important, normal sperm can last up to 7 days but frozen allegedly only lasts 12-24.

Timing is important... as us getting the hang of it (tmi) I had considerable spillage first time...

How do you dm?! I'm not sure this level of sharing is ok?!

@Freezerbump I have pmd you. On the top of the page there is your profile symbol on the right ( on my phone) when you click on it it says messages

@Freezerbump - how much is postage from Cryos US to the UK? Roughly.

@TimeIhadaNameChange hi there, depends which option you go for, I went for a medium tank to give me a 7day safe window, but you can have a box which will last 3 days. From 219 euro to about 260.

@Freezerbump - Thank you!

Hi guys, so glad there is some newbies on here I haven't posted since last year. We are 18months down or ttc line, we started with 6 months of cryos with no luck, then 6 months with a fresh donor, not sure he was 100% genuine so we switched to a lovely new guy, we are coming up to our 4th go. Would love for this thread to stay active, any advice welcome and I will do my best to help you also. Fingers crossed for all

Well I put in an order at Cryos this morning. Can't quite believe I've done it, tbh. I've been peruising their site for months, but in the end I found a donor that suited, put in an order for 3 thingies and pressed 'go'! Told DP in front of people that I'd done it, so was being very discreet. Too discreet, in fact, as it took him a while to realise what I was on about, but he got the message in the end. We're celebrating tonight!

Never thought I'd be doing this. Even though we've been thinking about it for a year, I still didn't think I'd actually do it. But it's done. Even if we get no further (which, let's face it, we probably won't) it's meant the world to me that we're going to try.

Will probably be back in a few weeks for advice.

@TimeIhadaNameChange yay! Well done! You've got that hardest first step over! If I can help with anything just give me a shout

Congratulations! I remember our first order well! When is your delivery date? Keeping everything crossed for you

Good luck to all of you!

I used to work at Fairfax Cryobank back in the states where delivering to the home was a pretty frequent affair as long as the supervising physician was cool with it.

I'm no scientist, but I learned a few things in those three years;

-Follow the thawing instructions your sperm company gives you. For us, it was thaw on the counter top at room temperature for about 30 minutes. But it can vary to read the instructions.

• If you are doing at home insemination, you are likely going to want unwashed sperm (ICI) that meets that MOT 20 or 20 million total motile cells per mL. This is the closest thing to natural insemination, and the sperm needs the seminal fluid to help it survive and move along the vaginal tract. Unless you have a catheter, you aren't going to be putting the sperm directly into the uterus.

-IUI/Washed sperm isn't better, it is different. In normal sex, the cervix stops the seminal plasma from entering the uterus and just the sperm swim on from there. That's why you need to wash the sperm for IUI: because it is being put right into the uterus you don't want seminal fluids, it causes major cramping. -What you DO want is MOT 20. There is an observable plateau in pregnancy success rates at that point. Meaning, MORE sperm in one attempt doesn't mean you'll have better chances that month. But, what some women will do is buy two vials and use one the first day and one the second day to try and spread out that ovulation window. -Make sure you know how to use your at home insemination kit. There are quite a few on the market so again, can't be doing guess work when sperm is so damn expensive. -In the UK if you do it at home, there is a chance the donor may still have legal rights to the offspring according to the HFEA. www.hfea.gov.uk/donation/donors/home-insemination-with-donor-sperm/ make sure to check out all the logistics. I wish they would pull their heads out their butts and be more lenient on letting clinics decide themselves to supervise at home insemination. More women could get the medical advice they need and have the privacy to do it together with their loved one.

Best of luck to all of you! Baby dust!

Hi

Can I join? This month hoping to be my first try with a donor. He can only do Wednesday which is when my app reckons I will be ovulating but obviously my body might have other ideas.

I'm doing OPKs and so far negative which is good.

Am sure I'll make lots of mistakes this month. Anyone have any tips for the actual insemination process? I'll be using fresh.

More than welcome! Wishing you luck, any questions please just ask

Despatch en route for attempt 2.... how's everyone getting on?

Good luck @freezerbump! When is it due to arrive? Are you testing? How many vials did you get? I'm not even sure I ovulated this month, gutted! Temps have been all over the place, got an at home progesterone test which I'm doing tomorrow so fingers crossed.

@Moo8879 I went for 3 x mot 10 to do over 2 days once I get my peak, might do one the day before. Trying with preseed this time to give the guys a bit of extra pooltime, over reserved a 20 for next time so we shall see :)
Shipped today so should arrive tomorrow or third morning

Best of luck @freezerbump you have a good quantity there and looks like you can cover all basis. Just remember frozen only lasts about 12hours so try and get your ovulation spot on

@Moo8879 yeah it's all a bit of a mix of science and intuition I think isn't it.. trying to figure out the exact time every month, is it better just before solid smiley then just after.. all trial and error, and costly!
Last time did on evening of solid smiley then evening after lots of cramps and stuff going on down there but no joy...
hopefully I've got a better knack this time!
3 times at home then I'll think about a clinic for more intrusive.. how about you?

Hi @freezerbump it's definelty a science you aren't wrong there! Are you temping? Can you pin point your ovulation after a positive opk. I would say unless you know you ovulate very quickly don't do your first insem untill the evening or even the morning after your peak, then do any others 12 hours later. When we were trying frozen I got a little obsessed and made a wall chart plotting by the hour when the egg was likely to drop 🤣 are you using anything else or just syringe?

@Moo8879 just a syringe at the moment, I have a straight fairly short run to the cervix, no temping but v regular cycles, solid smiley 11-13 days prior to period, using preseed this time, last time had quite a lot of cramping so I think prob got it in the right area but no sticking...evening of and following afternoon..
The v discreet yellow box has just arrived... round 2!!

@Moo8879 did your frozen work? Any tips?

Sorry for not replying sooner, and thanks for the welcome. I should be getting a delivery at the end of next week. Slightly mad, but never mind! For the first time ever I'm desperate for my period to arrive so I can get on with the next cycle. Then I don't want one for a very long time!

DP is very excited. He's told his mum, and his mates in the pub. Apparently they're all behind us (after a few doubts to begin with). I've told a couple of friends, but there's no way I can tell family until things are very much certain - I'm fairly certain on hearing I'm pregnant my mother will tell me to get an abortion. So she won't know until at least after the first scan, if I ever get to that point. And she won't know I've spent 2k on this venture, ever. She just wouldn't understand.

I'm a tad confused - people have, a couple of times on this thread, suggested that it's possible to know exactly when you ovulate. Is it, and how? Is it ovulation pain you're noting?

I've not been tracking long enough, I know, but when I tried last month digital test went from nothing to full-on smiley face in 24 hours. I'll increase it to 12 hour tests this time, then was thinking 12, 24 and 36 hours later for insemination after full-on smiley. Does that sound ok? Poor DP looked quite taken aback at this! (He's insisting on making it as natural as possible, and helping things along. I'm going to get him watching the Cryos videos this evening. That'll cheer him up, I'm sure!)