TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

Waiting - I'm another who would be too scared of something like that happening ever to try a live donor. Unless it was someone I knew and trusted, but then you get into other difficulties.

bitheby - I'm so sorry to hear about your chicks. It's heartbreaking, isn't it? I remember years ago a broody hen hatched some guinea fowl. They were so cute, but then they all died, one by one. Such a shame! We've lost two hens recently, and one has possibly had a lucky escape. Twice she was missing when I went to shut them in, and both times was found in the garden, the second time limping. Himself reckons something dragged her out, but for some reason didn't kill her as it had with the others.

Could you try a fertility clinic to get a clear picture of what's going on?

I'm ok. Just waiting for a solid smiley so we can go again. Squidgy arrived yesterday. Had a really graphic dream that I was pregnant last night. I had it all - taking multiple tests to check I really was (each time convinced it would be a negative), telling DP and even coming on here and telling you guys! It was based in the here and now - I had a short period last week and was then reading about someone either on MN or FB who'd had the same, and people were saying she was pregnant. I did test last week in RL to a negative, but in my dream I thought I'd test again and got the positive. But I even had the current Cryos delivery in the house and I was wondering what I was going to do with it!

Oh well, I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed that I'm successful this time!

Good luck @TimeIhadaNameChange. My new donor is coming down on Sunday night to give a donation on Sunday night and Monday morning (positive ovulation test is due Monday afternoon based on the last 3 months). I think it might be too early but he can't do Monday night so better early than late. He said everyone he has helped has gotten pregnant on the first or second attempt so fingers crossed. He's a lot younger than my previous donor, he's 28 and my previous donor was 52.

AF came today, three days later than my app predicted so that's a 27 day cycle. In your face perimenopause.

Oh actually 4 days. I don't know. Anyway. Today would've been CD 28 but became CD 1. So probably I'm still ok.

And start date 3 June.

Things hopefully heading in right direction.

My mood has become really low but hopefully that will pick up too.

So glad things are starting to come together for you @bithebi. It's been a long road it's no wonder you've been feeling disheartened with everything. Great news about the start date now you can actually start working out dates and planning your next insemination. Really happy for you.

Arrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh that is all.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

@TimeIhadaNameChange have you had your positive opk yet?

Are you ok?

I woke up tense and stressed with three more weeks, three more weeks running through my mind.

I know if I end up not falling pregnant then it's during these months I will regret not going ahead. Half thinking I should just try anyway but I won't get SMP.

Arrghhh indeed.

Bless you @bithebi I'm sure these few months won't make any difference but I do understand as every month I don't try/ don't succeed just feels like another month wasted so I absolutely hear you. At least you have a start date now and can try to focus your efforts on planning rather than waiting around not knowing anything.

I'm really fed up I had a new donor contact me on the website I use last week and he was happy to come down here and I would pay his petrol and for the hotel. I asked him several times before I booked the hotel that he was still coming and he assured me he was. When I first said I would only do AI he said that was great as he is married with 3 kids. Then after I sent him a picture he started being all weird and saying he would like to date me. When I said about his wife he then too me she had died at Christmas of ovarian cancer. I thought it was odd that he was thinking about dating so soon but I told him I wasn't interested and he backed off. When I sent him the hotel booking details on Thursday he asked if I could change the room type from a double to double with sofa bed as he was bringing the boys. The room cost was the same and actually it calmed my nerves a little after the events with my last donor to know he wouldn't be alone so I changed it. We were chatting yesterday and everything was fine and he messaged me this morning to ask if I was excited. Then he told me that his children's nanny was coming too. I said I wasn't really happy about that as it seemed this was turning into some sort of spectator sport and is supposed to be anonymous. He then said they couldn't come because she didn't want to be part of it so I said well for the 10 minutes I'm likely to be there can't she just take the boys somewhere else (there's a little play area at the back of the hotel). He came back and said that's fine but she wants £40 for being left on her own for that time with the children. I didn't believe any of this as surely that's a nanny's job?! But I agreed to the extra money because I'm due to get my positive ovulation test tomorrow and am not going to find anyone else now. So they were coming. Then he messaged to say that card details were taken for reservation purposes only and real payment would be taken on check in and he was worried about that so I called the hotel and they said he could check in and I could pay when I come to see him. He was fine with that but then a little while later came back and said he was concerned because in the small print it says they take a £100 holding deposit. It's because the hotel is in the town centre near a whole lot of bars and has had issues with people trashing the room. It was blatantly just an excuse because he didn't want to come. So now I'm not going to get to try again this month. #PeopleSuck. Why can't people just keep their word? When I say I'm going to do something I go out of my way to make sure I do it because it's important to me to keep my word but other people just don't seem to care. Now he's messaging me asking what I'm up to as if we're the best of friends. Im so fed up of people.

Another bullet dodged by the sounds of it. Some of these men really are wankers. I know we need them to be but still...

You'll find the right one. Maybe spend a bit more time to get to know them first? Not that I did with mine admittedly. I also found someone who had already donated through a clinic so there was a degree of trust there and he turned out to be genuine.

I'm 42. It feels like every month really does count. Also I would've liked more than one but realistically now if I get one that'll be amazing.

Absolutely @bithebi except we need them to wankers in the literal, not metaphorical, sense of the word!

I did know my last donor is been chatting with him since September first donation being in November. He obviously got fed up of donating and it not working so figured he'd get something out of it for himself.

I have chatted with another guy this afternoon but his work schedule means he isn't around when I need him. The last 3 months I've gotten my positive ovulation test on a Monday afternoon and they're each exactly 28 days apart so I'm due to get my positive tomorrow. I calculated when that would be next month and he's still away.

I've just messaged the London donor and been honest to say that I can't afford to donate to his daughters education but I'd still like he's help if he's happy to so the ball is in his court and he already knows I won't be donating so we'll see.

Right now I can only think about one too. At this point even that feels almost impossible so thinking of any more just seems like a pipe dream.

At least your cycles are lengthening out again so that's positive news. I'll have everything crossed for you when you start trying again.

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been quiet. It's been stressful here. Never did get a solid smiley face last week, which was bad enough, but when I temped on Saturday morning my app decided I'd ovulated on the Tuesday!!!!! But I wasn't even registering high on the ClearBlue thingy.

Just to add insult to injury, when we opened the tank on Saturday (decided I might as stick to when I thought I was going to ovulate) we found the hydrogen gone and the sperm defrosted. I eventually realised I'd ordered a 7 day tank not a 12 day!!!!! So I think I'm definitely screwed on that. On the other hand DP tried with catheter and speculum and found it really quite easy, and it was far less painful than I feared (second time I didn't even realised he'd got it in!). So we'll do that again next time.

Am off to the docs in a bit. I know they probably won't run full tests now as I've only been trying a few months, but I am 38 and it is expensive, so I'd rather they found out now it's a waste of money (if it is) then another 3 to 9 months further down the line.

Sorry to hear you've had a tough week @TimeIhadaNameChange how often do you take your opk? If you take them too far apart you can miss your surge. They say in the instructions once you get your flashing smiley face you should start testing twice a day. The first month I was using them I was testing in the morning before work (around 7-8) and then again in the evening which could have been anything between 7-9 and I didn't get a static smiley face at all because I was testing too far apart.

Since then I test in the morning at the same time as before but then I test in the afternoon around 3-4pm. Except this month when I had to go to the bathroom in the night so I test at 4am and then got my positive around 9:30am (not that it matters this month as my donor stood me up!).

How did you get on at the doctors did they run any tests?

Thanks for your reply, @Waiting2BAMummy. I do test multiple times during the day once I get the high reading. I suspect the problem may have been low battery on the reader - it was the third month of using and I'm not sure if they're supposed to be used for so long. There was a weird symbol on the display that I couldn't find an explanation of, but on the other hand it was still registering high so who knows. Plus I still had loads of the sticks left and didn't wasn't to spend money if I didn't have to. I did get some of the LH only ClearBlue but by they showed zero as well.

My thermometer app gave me a voucher for free tests, so I'll get them and see what they say.

Doc was quite happy to give me a blood test, so I went back this morning. Really good timing - they can test for progesterone on day 21 to see if you've ovulated, and today is day 20. So at least something is working in my favour! They'll also test thyroid function and prolactin levels.

Hi ladies, I'm having a bit of a stressful time with work and house move but I'm still here willing for you all! I need to extend my storage with Cryos until this all settled I think! Xx

Glad the doctor was helpful @TimeIhadaNameChange at least you'll know that you don't have any issues and can keep trying with that knowledge.

One of my colleagues was diagnosed with bowel cancer yesterday, he's only 35, he is having surgery on Sunday. Still can't really believe it so not sure how he must be feeling.

Bless you @Freezerbump moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do. Just try to keep focussed on the end goal of your beautiful new home and make sure to take some time out to relax.

Hope it all gets resolved and you're in your new home soon.

Freezerbump - how's the house move going? I don't envy you in the slightest! Hopefully you'll be settled in sooner rather than later and you can get back to the baby-making business.

Don't understand you comment about Cryos though - do you have eggs stored with them? (Sorry, am just being nosy!)

Waiting2BAMummy - so sorry to hear about your colleague. Really puts things into perspective, doesn't it? Really hope things turn out ok for him.

Well, I had my results back yesterday. Nothing wrong, though the progesterone results were low. That could be because they tested on day 20 rather than day 21 though, so I'm doing it again next month. I have to ring up the day I come on and book an appointment. No idea if they release appointments three weeks in advance though, but I'll try.

In other news, my apps are going crazy! I know I shouldn't rely on them (or, probably, even open them!) but up to now they've been fine. But, because Femometer decided I'd ovulated early (despite the OPKs still being competely negative at that point) it reckons I should have come on yesterday, so it's now telling me (quite angrily, it seems!!!) that I am late! The fact that I'm only on day 25, and am rarely less than 27 I feel it's getting its knockers in a twist about nothing. Plus my temps are nice and high still. I reckon it's getting itself confused!!!!!

Not that I'm getting excited about the high temps, I have a few days to go anyway. But, you know, fingers crossed and all that!

Morning @TimeIhadaNameChange yes I'm trying to chill but it's a bit of a mare working shifts and trying to get everything sorted!
Re storage, the donor I chose was down to last 2 straws at 10 so I bought and stored them for when I next try, it's 44 euro for 3 months I'm on a diet too so hoping getting body a bit better will help when I start again! Or heading for ivf will also be easier if I've a good bmi too..
Ughhhh all so complicated!

Xx

Ah, that makes sense, Freezerbump! Sorry, I just couldn't figure it out!

Do you have anyone to help with the move? I hope so! I actually find it easier to pack for friends than myself - I get too distracted finding things I haven't seen for years!!!!! Do you have a date for the move yet?

I'm still sitting here waiting. Have asked on a FB group re my bbt chart and they all agree ovulation happened early, I'm just waiting to explain if someone can explain why my LH surge happened AFTER ovulation. It makes no sense to me!

Hi All,

I have been reading through this thread for most of the afternoon and think I am caught up with everyone.
I hope you guys don’t mind me jumping in? This is the first thread I’ve found which I’ve actually wanted to be part of, you all seem so lovely.
I am in a slightly different boat to you all but I am hoping to conceive with a donor AI at home.
Lots of love
Lou

Hi Lou, and welcome!

Of course we don't mind you jumping in, the more the merrier! Though this thread's quietened down somewhat partly due to other commitments and partly due to the stress of this whole trying-to-conceive business.

Round 3 didn't work for me, so I've ordered number 4. We'll do the cathetar and speculum thing again - DP's figured out what he's doing so it seems the best way of doing it, risks aside. I definitely wouldn't do it on my own though.

If it doesn't work we're taking a break. Unless we win the lottery!

Thanks for the welcome!
It all seems so stressful, which I guess doesn’t help matters!
Finger crossed that 4th times the charm for you!
I haven’t been temping yet, but using the 4 day Clearblue digitalis and the cheapies. Got my flashing smiley today on CB but still negative on the cheap ones.
So all being well will have first donation this evening. Is it better to do it everyday or every other day do you guys think?
Best wishes
Lou x

Good luck for round 4 @TimeIhadaNameChange! When are you do to ovulate? I'm due to get my positive opk on Monday 10th June and you're usually around the same time as me give or take a couple of days.

Hi @LouMill welcome to the crazy world of TTC! I don't temp either and I also use the clearblue advanced ovulation tests. Make sure you're testing more than once per day now that you've had your flashing smiley face or you might miss your surge. Good luck x

Thanks @Waiting2BAMummy.
Yes I have been doing a couple each day of CB and 3/4 of the cheapies too.
I’m just waiting to know if donation can be done tonight as friend is still at work and I feel rotten! X

@LouMill you can have several days of flashing smiley faces, even though it says two, so don't worry if you can't do tonight it doesn't mean your out x