TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

It's been a saga. I spoke to my line manager last week and both she and I were assured by occupational health that I'd be seen this week.

That's not what the letter says though.

Having a couple more weeks off is ok but obvs I hope it doesn't mean that I go through menopause before I can TTC. And none of us know when that might happen.

Hopefully a few weeks won't make too much difference.

Am not reading as much as usual. Don't want to upset myself. Good luck to you all in this month.

I'm fine @TimeIhadaNameChange I've had some mild cramping a couple of times but other than that absolutely nothing. I'm only 6dpo and lots of people say you can't have pregnancy symptoms before implantation which happens between 6-12 dpo (usually around 9dpo) but idk I think I'm out just don't feeling positive at all about this month. I was planning to test next Sunday which will be 12dpo but that would be cd 28 and my last 2 cycles have been 26/27 days so may already have af by then but even on a normal 28 day cycle it will be due on Monday so might wait until Tuesday. When are you planning to test? I wouldn't worry about the app you got your positive opk which indicates your LH surge and although doesn't guarantee ovulation it makes it highly likely. As you say if you're not sleeping long enough or you get up in the night it can all affect your readings.

Bless you @bithebi fingers crossed for your appointment this week and when they sign you off maybe you could start next week? I'm sure the hospital want you to get started as much as you want to.

I don't have an appointment this week though. The letter was sent after the conversation about it being sooner so presumably they couldn't fit me in. I have to wait until tomorrow to speak to someone.

Anyway. I need to know what's going on so I can plan. Start Monday is too stressful.

Oh okay sorry

Hi,

I really hope this is ok to post here. Read the first and last few pages and it seems to be quite tight, so don't want to just barge in

Right at the beginning of this journey with my wife. Actually, so far at the beginning that we're still not 100% sure what method we want to use. I.e home insemination, IUI at a clinic, open donor, private donor etc.

Would massively appreciate some advice! Need to start somewhere with the questions, so was wondering what kind of preparations you made, if any, before TTC? For example, vitamins, diet in general, including alcohol. I like a drink flashbacks of this Easter weekend and the countless April spritz's so should I stop drinking for a while before trying TTC? I read somewhere 3 months prep is a good idea, but don't know how accurate this is.

Anyway, was just looking at introducing myself initially really and again, hope this is ok to post here

Welcome, Cookiedoughforbreakfast. No problem at all with you joining, I've only been here since Feb.

I've just done two cycles so far, so very new to this. I started taking Folic Acid about a month before my first attempt, and have been taking it ever since. I had my last glass of wine the day before the first insemination, and have stayed off it in the main. I did down a glass about 20 mins before attempting catheterisation, but home catheterising isn't advised due to infection risk so I wouldn't recommend it. DP couldn't get it to work anyway!

My diet's generally ok, though it's Easter, so there have been hot cross buns and chocolate. I'm trying to wean myself back onto a LCHF diet, but that's because I feel much better on it rather than for the pregnancy.

Oh, and I've also cut down on caffeine. At one point I could quite easily drink 6-8 cups of strong coffee a day (probably using as much instant as most people would use for 2 cups). I got down to two a day, and as of this morning used Decaff for the first of the day. (You're not supposed to have more than 200mgs of caffeine a day during pregnancy, which is about one large mug (or about 1/2 in my case!)

The sooner you can start to prepare yourself like this the better.

Good luck!

Hi @Cookiedpughforbreakfast welcome to the mad world that is TTC!! I don't think you need to stop drinking 3 months before you start trying I don't drink so probably not the best person to advise you on that one but I would say as long as you don't drink following your LH surge you should be fine (maybe tone it down a little before that too!). I started taking folic acid the month I started so have now been taking it daily for 6 months! In terms of other vitamins etc there are lots of things out there (like pregnacare for example) but for a lot of them I've heard people say that they actually messed with their cycles and became more of a hinderance than anything. I've personally stopped drinking caffeine because I've read that it can reduce fertility, increase early loss risk and the risk of having a small baby but that's personal choice.

You might want to think about going to a clinic to have some fertility tests done even if you decide not to use them for treatment at least you know you're good to go. I personally haven't done that but I know people have.

It might also be worth tracking your cycles for a couple of months before you start trying so you get an idea of what's normal for you. I didn't do this and made so many mistakes in the first couple of months with timing etc that was an expensive lesson!

Hope this helps, good luck!

I'm no expert but don't take Pregnacare! I took it for about 5 days last month and I swear it gave me the most random pregnancy-like symptoms. I did some research and, as Waiting2BAMummy , there are a fair few reports of it messing up cycles, so I just threw the rest of the pack in the bin.

Of course the Pregnacare might not have been to blame, but I wouldn't risk it.

Thanks so much for the warm welcome

I'm actually allergic to folic acid, which I found out when I was pregnant with my first. Was sick as a dog! Perhaps I would be ok on another tablet or a lower dose. Actually, perhaps I was sick because I was already pregnant. I did suffer quite badly for the first 4 1/2 months. Lost 201bs

Can I just ask for a fertility test at a regular NHS GP surgery?

Excited to have found you all!

Ah, just realised I hadn't mentioned I already have a 12 year old from a previous straight relationship, which was unplanned. Obviously no fertility issues back then, but things can change of course.

My periods were a bit erratic for a year or so, but seem to have settled down now. I'm 34, so not quite past it but I know age isn't always a clear indicator.

@Cookiedoughforbreakfast your DP is unlikely to conduct any fertility tests until you have been TTC for 12 months, especially as you already have a child. Unfortunately you would need to pay for those privately.

I would try folic acid now whilst you know that you're not pregnant as it is highly likely it was the pregnancy making you sick and not the folic acid. I have heard that it can intensify symptoms but if you can persevere with it it's benefits are worth trying to stick with.

Thanks, Waiting. So checking fertility isn't procedure before starting IUI or IVF?

I would imagine it would be if you were going down the clinic route @Cookiedoughforbreakfast but again you would be paying for that in addition to the cost of the treatment.

Ah, I see. I just read that in some areas that lesbian couples TTC can get a number of sessions of IUI on the NHS. Is this still the case? Another postcode lottery I suspect. If so, assuming that you're still paying for the sperm privately?..

Also, we're so torn between private and known donors. From our pov, we'd like a private donor, but I would feel incredibly guilty if our dc turned round to us and said they wanted to know who their bio dad is and they had absolutely no way of finding out.

If you use a clinic in this country the donors will be non-anonymous. That is, the child can find out who they are when they're 18. I'm not sure whether Cryos will send anon sperm to this country - I didn't try.

The problem with using private is legal - the man is the legal father of the child and it is complicated to break this connection. If you go through a sperm bank the legalities are sorted out and this problem doesn't exist. Also, you get full screening for chromosomal abnomalities and diseases.

Cookiedough, when you say 'private donor', are you meaning 'anonymous'? I think probably most of us on here, if we're talking about private donors, are taking about private donation arrangements with an individual man e.g. a friend/acquaintance, or someone found online. That can be legally very complicated, as mentioned above. If looking for a donor online, there can also be a lot of dodgy people out there, too. (Obviously not everyone is, but I've heard some really alarming stories.)

Cryos will ship anonymous sperm to the UK for home insemination but not for clinic treatment (since the law in the UK doesn't allow clinics to use anonymous sperm).

I think it's really sensible to think about questions of how a future child might feel. If you haven't already, you might want to take a look at the Donor Conception Network, they have loads of stuff you might find helpful!

Please can someone have a word in my shell and tell me how ridiculous it is to go to Asda to buy pregnancy tests when you're only 7dpo??

I have an FRER but not wasting that so early was just going to buy cheap ones.

Waiting2BAMummy - you know they'll be negative, but if it makes you feel better go ahead!

I tested this morning with a cheap stick just for the laugh. It was negative. Am saving my FRER for Thursday as that's when DP goes, so I'll do it before he's away.

You're right I do know they'll be negative @TimeIhadaNameChange and I actually don't think it will make me feel better. I've had a long and stressful day back at work and seeing that negative will probably tip me over the edge!

You'll be 11 dpo by Thursday won't you? Fingers crossed for you - how are you feeling?

11 or 12 dpo. I'm not entirely sure.

I'm feeling fine, just exhausted. But I'm pretty sure, as I said the other day, it's due to a number of factors unrelated to ttc, the most recent one being that I'm now down to one coffee a day so I'm no doubt missing the caffeine. It is ridiculous though - I slept on the sofa early evening Friday for a few hours, and then again Saturday afternoon. And I was more than ready for my bed before 10 last night. And I'm yawning now!!!!! But I have no other symptoms and my BBT seems to be falling, so I think I'm out.

I'm feeling exhausted too but I think for the same reason as you. I have now cut out caffeine completely - haven't had any since Tuesday last week.

I do have a headache today (I never get headache) but I'm wondering if it could be the caffeine withdrawal although would that take a week to show itself?

I've been surprisingly calm for the first week but it's now that the impatience starts to kick in for me. I was planning to test Sunday but I don't know if I should just hold out an extra 2 days to see if AF arrives.

@TimeIhadaNameChange weren't you testing today? How did you get on?

How is everyone else doing?

I did test yesterday and it was negative. Hey ho! Have one more cheap test left and have ordered two FRER. AF not due til Monday, so there's still a chance. Thanks for asking!

When will you be testing, @Waiting2BAMummy?

Sorry to hear you got a negative @TimeIhadaNameChange I did a cheap Asda test this morning and it was negative but I'm only 10dpo so it was stupid to test really. I have an FRER that I intend to take on Sunday (unless AF has arrived by then). I honestly think it will be negative though as I'm getting usual af cramps. Today is CD26 and my last 2 cycles have been 26/27 days so could very well have af by Sunday.

I'm expecting AF from my BBT chart - temp's been going down on the whole the last few days.

Except - I usually take my temp between 7 and 8, after having got up anywhere between 3 and half 5 for the cat. There have been a few nights I've taken it early and it's been lower than later (one night there was 4 degrees difference!) so I probably shouldn't rely too much on that. It probably won't have worked though, statisticallly speaking, but who knows?