TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

Thank you @bithebi my rational head knows that but sometimes you need someone to talk to the rational part of your brain and remind them that they they exist! Far too easy to get caught up in the desperation of wanting to be pregnant that all common sense goes out of the window.

How are you feeling today? How are the eggs coming along? I don't know the first thing about chickens so please excuse my ignorance how long does it take before you know if there is anything in them? Have you heard anything about a start date yet? You must be getting fed up now that you know everything has gone through and you're literally just waiting for a date. I know I would be.

Sorry, bitheby, I've ignored your eggs! I do hope you'll be providing photos once you've got wee ones? [stern look]

We've not had any for years, not since we got rid of the last cocks. They are cute, though. Did you know you can get fertilised eggs over the internet? We've done that in the past and put them under broody hens. We got some guinea fowl that way, but they didn't survive long.

Do you have any other animals? We have a cat, guinea pigs and rabbits, then hens and bees. We did have fish and ducks, but they all died / were killed earlier this year. We'll no doubt restock them sometime soon. I'm also hoping to get a corn snake as I've fallen for my friend's one. Am just waiting for her to get a new viv so I can have her old one.

I'm also baby sitting a friend's hamster. He's highly amusing. Quite determined to escape from the sofa and go on adventures, mind! I've told him the cat will use it as an excuse to catch him but he's not convinced! My poor guineas, who are sharing a room with him, are quite horrified by his activity levels! Just hearing him on his wheel tires them out!!!

laid back is definitely a good thing @TimeIhadaNameChange so many women fall pregnant when they stop 'trying' which proves that stress does not help anything. If you can be relaxed about it and just go with the flow then good for you.

I have to say (apart from my melt down last week when the grin of my OPK starting flashing at me) I've been pretty relaxed about this time too. I think because i'd already booked the time off and I had a plan so I wasn't waiting to get my static and then panicking that maybe my donor wouldn't be able to make it. For the last 3 cycles though I have got my static on a monday afternoon exactly 4 weeks apart - I spy a pattern?! So, if it doesn't work this time then I can hazard a guess that my next postive will be 4 weeks today and plan for that.

You're all making me want a pet. I had to have my 16 year old cat put to sleep last November (he lived with my ex housemate) I'd had him since he was 9 weeks old bless his furry paws. I live in private rented accommodation though and we're not allowed pets which is a shame because I think children should grow up around animals.

At the moment I have chickens, ducks and two cats.

Eggs are doing well. I should be able to candle them by now to tell if they have chicks in but I don't have the right equipment. I tried with my iPhone torch this morning but couldn't really tell! And I was terrified I'd drop and break them so I thought I'd leave them a few more days undisturbed.

They're on Day 12 (to go) so I'm in the TWW 😂

Occupational health is Wednesday. So I have to clear the medical, which is only a formality but I've disclosed a disability and I want to do it all properly in case I need any time off due to stress/ overwhelm. Jobcentre rang this afternoon. Would be really nice if that was my last dealings with them.

Just candles my eggs. All new to me but apparently it's best to do it in the dark.

I think I have 4 definites where I can clearly see veins. And three look like there's nothing inside. I'm going to give them a few more days and if it's still the same, remove the three that are empty. Obviously, as we all know from experience, until you're definitely out, you're still in with a shot. However, fortunately, if we hold on to the hope too long, we don't explode and cover our remaining offspring chances in bacteria laden goo.

It's possible that the three eggs that look like they won't make it were from the sickly hen (which is why I started all this) and no-one DTD with her. Or not. It's all a bit random.

Anyway, that's my egg update. Anyone else?!

Awww @bithebi 4 little chicks SO cute! Sounds like you have everything under control.

So my 3rd donation is done and so the dreaded TWW begins.

How are you feeling @Dosmamas

Are you finished inseminating now this cycle @TimeIhadaNameChange?

How are things going with the house sale @Freezerbump?

Wishing everyone a tiggerific Tuesday x

Waiting2BAMummy - that's the pair of us in the 2WW then. We just inseminated Sat and Sun. Would have done Monday too but I was pretty sure it was too late, so we did two vials on Sunday.

Am totally symptom free, unlike last time, other than a large spot on my chin which is really unusual for me. Just goes to show how much Pregnacare shook me up. Would love to try taking it again, when I'm not thinking about ttc, just to see if I have the same reaction to it.

Hope everyone's doing well. x

Hi Ladies

I hope you dont mind me butting on your thread. I was reading through it last night as I had been contemplating having one or two shots at home before we go for IVF.

Im 33, same sex relationship and started self funding IUI last year. All scans, blood tests looked really promising. Unfortunately we didn't get pregnant after 6 cycles with the same donor and we're £10.5k down. We now qualify for funded IVF but financially, Id have rather spent this money on a 3 cycle IVF package. I guess what im trying to say is if you get to the point of considering fertility treatment IUI may not be best value at 10-13% chance of sucess per cycle.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Hi, LadyMac, thanks for this advice. I'm in the same boat (about to start) and feeling pretty anxious about the amount of money vs success rate. Can I ask where you were treated?

Hi five to my TWW wait buddy @TimeIhadaNameChange. I've decided I'm absolutely NOT symptom spotting this month so feel free to remind me of that this time next week when I'm asking google if breathing is a sign of early pregnancy!! 😂🙈

Hi LadyMac1,

Thank you for sharing your experience. I think you're absolutely right if I were going to be brave enough to go to a clinic I would opt for IVF it may be more expensive but also has better odds so in the long term it will probably cost less than repeated rounds of failed IUI. I use a softcup for insemination and it does much the same as the stork OTC which is said to have much the same success rate as IUI so wouldn't go to a clinic to achieve the same odds.

Good luck if you do decide to try at home maybe the relaxed setting might help?

Waiting2BAMummy - High 5 back at you!!!!!

How are you doing? I doing my best to forget all about it, and fairly well succeeding. I did touch my boobs yesterday for soreness, but there was none whatsoever. So that's good.

Have you found out whether breathing is a pregnancy symptom yet??????

@TimeIhadaNameChange I'm trying to forgot about it too but not being at work (although I may as well be as I'm picking up emails and dealing with urgent stuff) I'm not distracted so I do find myself thinking about it. I think I actually ovulated yesterday so today I am a whole 1 DPO!!
I feel a little bloated but I've had that other months and not been pregnant so although this can be a sign I think it's kind of normal for me. I do have some weird cramping pains (not really painful but a little annoying) but I don't know if maybe wearing softcups for 3 days has aggravated my cervix?
Do you normally get sore boobs? Mine can be a little tender but nothing to speak of really.

Nope the jury is still out as to whether breathing is a symptom of pregnancy!!

I'm about 4dpo. I don't normally get sore boobs, and not usually in the middle of the month. But I really noticed them a few weeks ago (I think I kept moaning about them on here). I've been wanting to check what they're like mid-cycle normally, and they're absolutely fine. So either last month was an annoying exception or else the Pregnacare was the cause.

How long did you leave the SoftCups in for? I just kept them in overnight each time, so about 8 hours. I think they're slightly too big for me and started coming out as soon as I started to wee, so I couldn't have kept them in any longer. I reckoned if the sperm hadn't gone in by then they were probably too lazy to try!

I left them in for 12 hours but I agree it's probably a little excessive as any sperm who haven't made their way through the cervix by then probably aren't going to. Even though I logically know that I still couldn't bring myself to take it out before that point - just in case!!

When are you going to test @TimeIhadaNameChange I'm going for 12dpo I think.

I've read differing reports on softcups. Some say leave them in as long as possible to leave the sperm near the cervix. Others say that any sperm that are capable of it will swim through the cervix instantly and all you're doing with a softcup is retaining the waste products and increasing the risk of infection so take it out after ten minutes.

For my first and only donation I kept a menstrual cup in all day and I confess it was grim when I took it out and pretty pointless as it's the wrong shape to keep anything anywhere near the cervix. I was tempted to tip it all inside me again for one last shot but thought better of it due to infection risk

How's everyone doing today? It's absolutely gorgeous here, and has been for the last wee while. I've been wearing skirts and dresses all week, which is most unlike me! I'm sure the jeans will be back on soon!!!

@Waiting2BAMummy - any symptoms yet?????

@Freezerbump - how's the house move going? Have you thought any more about IVF?

@bitheby - how are the eggs doing? Was Occupational Health ok?

@Dosmamas - hope things between you and you partner are ok.

Hi @TimeIhadaNameChange I'm really tired yesterday I went out with a friend I dropped her off and came home I went to bed at 8pm and didn't get up until this morning. I was up early this morning as I had to have the car back at the rental company by 8am but now I'm really tired again. My eyes feel really heavy but honestly I think that's to do with last weekend catching up with me as I didn't sleep well in the hotel and was up really early. How are you feeling?

@Dosmamas hope you're okay are you testing today?

Hi guys, sorry I've not been on much, Thankyou for all your support, means the world. Had a shit week at work, my manager is stressed and insecure about her job security right now and so as usual takes it out on the little guys. I get on with my boss so I felt some strange guilt to over work this week to reassure her. Don't know why. Probably cause I can't say no to people 😐.

Tested last night and BFN. Tested this morning BFN, so whilst AF isn't here yet I'm happy that I'm out this
Month and I'm going now to get some beers and enjoy our good Friday in the garden with friends! I'm okay about the BFN, felt amazing last weekend, dead happy and euphoric, and whilst I've dodged PMS this month, I also have zero preg symptoms. So I'm just getting ready for next cycle.

Hello everyone

Occupational health was not ok. I have to go back and see the doctor as the nurse didn't feel qualified to sign me off. It's shit. I'm upset. The appointment they've given me is 3 weeks away so basically that's another month of lost earnings.

Waiting2BAMummy I'm generally tired these days so don't think that's a symptom for me. I really want to go for a run as the weather's so nice as I think it would do me good, and give me a 'proper' reason to be tired, but I'm sticking to what the IVF worker said and giving it a miss til implantation (or not).

Dosmamas - sorry to hear about work. I understand the trying to make people feel better malarky. Just don't do too much, you hear me?

And you're not out til the Red Lady comes calling, don't forget! Enjoy your night, though!

Bless you @Dosmamas you're boss sounds like mine were having a restructure at work (for a change) and my boss has turned back into the b*tch from hell (she had been more relaxed recently). I understand that she's worried about the changes but we all are and taking it out on each other doesn't help anyone. I understand you wanting to help make her feel better but don't get taken for granted. I started picking up the odd email here and there when I took leave and now it's become an expectation that I will work when I'm off. Sorry to hear about your BFN and not trying to give you false hope but I've read a lot of posts from women who said they had zero pregnancy symptoms the month they got their BFP. Enjoy your day though sounds like you deserve it after this week!

@TimeIhadaNameChange I hear you on the run but understand why you don't want to either. I've completely cut out caffeine and although I would really love an ice cold pepsi max I'm not having one. I'be read that implantation is usually between 7-12 dpo but generally around day 9 so you only have around a week to wait. Are you going to test before AF is due? I can't decide if I'm going to or not. I was thinking I would test at 12 dpo which is next Sunday but my last couple of cycles have been short 26/27 days so I may already have af by then and not need to.

Sorry to hear about your occupational health appointment @bithebi can you not call them to see if they could move it forward at all?

That's a real bummer, Bitheby. Hope you manage to get an appointment sooner than that.

My BBT app is now telling me I haven't had sufficiently high BBTs so may not have ovulated. Bummer! I don't think the thing works for me, though, so am not taking it to heart really. You're supposed to take your temp after 6 hours' sleep but I usually get woken in the night by the cat, which no doubt has an effect. Hey ho!

How are you doing, Waiting2BAMummy? When are you testing? My DP is annoyed he'll be away again at the right time, though I may try before he disappears on Thurs just to see. I'm feeling grand. The only weird thing was that I got a weird cramping in my stomach about midday yesterday, and felt slighty sick for about half an hour. My jumping-to-conclusions part wonders if that was implantation. But there's been no bleeding...