TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

I so want there to be a pregnancy and for it to be the first of many for our little gang.

My hens eggs are a third of the way through if that almost counts?!

I read somewhere that you should insem the day of ovulation and 2 days after is that wrong then @Dosmamas?

Also I read somewhere that fast food can affect fertility- I just remembered this after I finished eating a McDonald's!! Arrrrggghhhhhh

2 days after ovulation is too late. The egg lives for up to 24 hours after it's released (obvs we're all different) and ideally therefore you want the sperm there waiting for it.

They can live for 5 days so inseminating on the early side is better than late. Also don't forget that the donor needs time for his sperm to replenish after donations so donating too frequently will reduce the potency of each donation.

This is based on fresh sperm. Frozen sperm last a lot less which is why timing has to be much more precise.

@Waiting2BAMummy no your not wrong, personally I don't see the point of insem two days after ovulation, as I think you need to have sperm waiting and to get a donation in the 36 hours you could ovulate in after your peak/positive.

But having said that! If your donor is up for it then definitely get as many donations as you can! Normally it's the other way around isn't it, they can only do one a cycle. I would be happy with today and tomorow as I prefer the thought of it being in there ready to meet the egg.

Ahh good luck!!!

@bitheby your little mama hens, how cute. I will definitely own chickens in my lifetime. I want to foster the chickens from cages. The ones you get with no feathers that need to live in side for a while.

I'm off to bed now, tomorow I'll be one day closer to the end of this TWW.

Sorry @bithebi I meant 2 days after positive opk not 2 days after ovulation.

Obvs also depends on how long after your peak you actually ovulate too. Two days after peak might be ok if you don't ovulate for 24-48 hours after it. Obviously it doesn't hurt to have another. If it was your only donation then I'd say make it earlier. It's all good practice too.

My egg thing is born of tragedy really as my flock has a disease that is gradually taking them one by one. I lost another hen two days ago and another about a week ago. This is an attempt to start a new healthy flock so raising in an incubator and I'll look after them so they don't mix with the others.

Having said all that I love keeping poultry. They're very cute and it's satisfying.

AF started for me today and I'm shattered and grumpy. Apologies if I'm being annoying. I feel annoying.

Aww you're not annoying @bithebi it's awesome that you keep chickens sounds like you really look after them too it's sweet.

I appreciate any input in the timing department I need/want to learn as much as I can. I definitely ovulated 2 days after my positive ovulation test last month and as you say the extra one can't hurt.

@bitheby your not being annoying, don't say that! you're being you and it's great. Must be heartbreaking having to see those chickens pass away. Can't be easy. So cute that you'll incubate, do you have all the kit for that? How long does an egg incubate for before it hatches?

21 days. The TWW wait doesn't really exist in the same way for hens. After two weeks I should be able to hold the eggs up to the light to see if there is a chick inside or it's unfertilised. But then it's literally only another week to wait and they're hatched!

This is the first time I've done it this way. I've had a few clutches hatched naturally by the hens. When one of my new breeding hens starting showing the first signs of the disease, I ordered an incubator and bunged it on the credit card. I knew immediately I saw her wobbling that she was dying and I wanted to try to breed from her while her eggs were still viable.

I need to order a brooder next - it's what they sit under to keep warm - but I might wait until I've checked the eggs to see if there's anything in them.

Quite scary how much money I'm spending lately. £400 on the car yesterday. Roll on start date.

Fingers crossed you get your start date soon @bithebi

So I just did my second opk of the day and still a flashing smiley face. The last 2 months I've had my positive on a Monday exactly 28 days apart so I might get it tomorrow. I only did a 3 hour hold though as I couldn't wait any longer could that have made a difference? I'm thinking I'm going to have to stay tomorrow night now or should I try to do another 4 hour hold and test again tonight?

I have to go home tomorrow anyway so if I am going to stay again I'll have to drive home and come back.

Why is this not simple? I think I have everything planned and out and the. My body goes 'I don't think so!!'

Waiting2BAMummy - I know the feeling! I was expecting to ovulate on Monday hence feeling slightly nervy about the delivery not coming til then, and relief when it turned up on Friday. I'd done an OPK test just for the hell of it on Thursday and, as expected, nothing. Didn't bother Friday as I wasn't sure when the delivery would turn up and I didn't want to stress myself out if it was high then but then nothing appeared.

Sat morning, 4 am (cat woke me up). Decided to test then for a laugh and see (was needing a wee anyway and would have then had a drink, so it would have been the most concentrated then). Well f me if I didn't get a STATIC smiley there and then!!!!! Boy was I relieved I had the goods already! Told DP later that plans for the day had changed and we were squidging that evening. In other words, don't drink too much! Of course he did, and wanted to put it off til today so I said I'd do it myself, but the darling wouldn't let me. So we did one lot last night and will use the other two this evening.

Not sure if we will use the catheter. I know there are risks involved. I'm happy for DP to do it, but if he's uncomfortable we'll just keep to what we've done up to now. He's not going anywhere near it if he's been drinking today, that's for sure!

That's great news @TimeIhadaNameChange so glad your tank arrived in time. I think I'm going to have to stay tomorrow night now but I'm starting to stress that I'm not going to get a static smiley this cycle as I didn't in January (but I think I was taking the tests too far apart). I'm also worried that maybe I missed it as I didn't do a second test after getting my first flashing smiley face in the morning and Tuesday I did my second one at 2pm but don't normally do it until 4pm so wonder if I did it too early. I know I'm probably totally overthinking this. I normally get my positive in the afternoon I'm just hoping I get it tomorrow as I'm going out on Thursday so definitely can't stay Wednesday night.

Morning how is everyone doing today?

@TimeIhadaNameChange how did the second insemination go?

My donor couldn't do this morning was going to come over this afternoon but I am currently heading back home as I have a few things I need to do and would be back later than he can make but he is coming over tomorrow morning. Hoping for my static smiley face this afternoon.

Hi Waiting2BAMummy! Second insemination was ok.

He was going to try with the catheter but, in the end, he couldn't see the opening of the cervix so didn't. I wonder if it means it was too late and it had closed, as one of my apps helpfully decided to tell me I'd ovulated on Saturday. But who knows?

He's decided we should try again if it hasn't worked, and reckons I should ask the practice nurse for help. I reckon it would put her in an awkward position, as I doubt they are qualified for such things in a GP surgery. He then suggested he asks an old flame who's a retired nurse to lend a hand, but unsurprisingly I am not going there!

Good luck for tomorrow morning! One of us lot has to be successful soon, surely???

I would be very careful inserting. And doesn't it cause awful stomach cramps or will you get washed sperm? The seminal fluid isn't meant to get into the uterus so the sperm swim through that and through the cervix leaving the fluid behind. If it goes into the uterus it can cause cramping which is why the clinics use the washed sperm.

Your body your choice of course but I would be very careful.

People get pregnant all the time with sperm in the vagina. They know where to go.

Good luck.

@TimeIhadaNameChange I think you said you used the clearblue opk if so they are accurate I've read posts of people who had a scan at the same time as they gone they're static smiley face and it was right on time. The apps are all well and good but they use the data you give them to work out what would happen in an 'average' scenario whereas the OPK's are testing what's going on in your body in real time. I would trust the opk over the app.

In terms of asking the nurse at your GP clinic I doubt very much that she would do it as she isn't an expert and I'm sure that she wouldn't be insured should something go wrong.

If it doesn't work this time maybe look for a local donor as using the frozen stuff doesn't leave much room for error in terms of your timings. Saying that you're looking at the negative outcome it could very well work this time and a fall back plan will be unnecessary. I'm voting for that!

Good luck x

Thanks, you two.

Bitheby - it is washed sperm we're using anyway. If it were unwashed it definitely would not be going anywhere near my uterus! I know there are risks involved, and however much we try to minimise them we'll never get them to zero, but we can do our best.

Waiting2BAMummy - interesting what you say about the OPKs. I think I just assumed that, having been given the data, the apps would work it out fairly accurately, esp as they know I had a static smiley on Sat, and surely they know ovulation occurs the next day? Then again I reckon my BBT confuses them, as I've already got out of bed and back before I take it. It does amuse me that three apps can use the same data and give me different dates - I'd love to know the differences in their algorithms. So yes, logically I know not to trust them. I still panic, though!

Not sure about local donors. The nearest I could find on the websites was over 100 miles away. DP reckons he could ask people in the community and they'd say yes, but I'm not so certain.

Thanks for your vote of confidence this time round. We'll see!

Ah ok. In which case ignore everything I said. I'd be squeamish about doing it but I'm doing mine solo and it sounds like your DP is pretty confident!! I've never seen a cervix, closed or open. Maybe I should have paid more attention last time I was in a same sex relationship. But if he thinks he can do it carefully then fair play to you both.

@TimeIhadaNameChange I think it's because, as with any algorithm, it can only work with predefined parameters and they are always going to be set to the 'average' person. Some people will ovulate on the day of their positive OPK, the majority will ovulate 12-36 hours after, and some even ovulate 48 hours + after. The apps therefore can be nothing more than a guide and explains, as you say, why different apps give you different answers. I think in the end you have to listen to your body and that's exactly what OPK's do. I hear you on the panicking though when my OPK started flashing at the beginning of last week i was all ready to meet someone I had barely spoken to all because I was so scared I was going to miss my window and yet here we are a week on and I still haven't had my static smiley face (next test in an hour!).

My donor is 100 miles away too and although it can be tricky I do like the fact that I won't be bumping into him in tesco once baby is here! I wouldn't want someone in my own community who I am likely to bump into but each to their own you have to do what is right for you.

Still have my fingers crossed for you that you won't need another try anyway as you say one of us has to get a positive soon. I vote all of us!

Would love to go through the pregnancy journey with you guys.

bitheby - in case it doesn't sound like it, I do appreciate you keeping me on the straight and narrow! DP is definitely confident, he was telling me last night how he'd seen my cervix before. A delightful sight, I'm sure! The catheter wasn't as solid as it had sounded in the description, so it would definitely need a speculum. He was not happy with the idea of it just wiggling about as is.

Waiting2BAMummy - I hope you get your static smiley very soon! The strange thing was, I used my last line-only OPK at the same time I got the static, and, according to the 'translation' my app gave me, it was reading 10 out of 100, so not high at all. (And it was a very faint line). It was strange. But if the ClearBlue are supposed to be decent I'll stick with that. Nowt else I can do now anyway!

Bless you @TimeIhadaNameChange well even if the app was right and you did ovulate on Saturday you insemimated on that day anyway didn't you? I think you've got it covered but trust me I do understand your anxiety.

In smiley face news ask me who got a static smiley face this afternoon?! Yes pick me pick me!! So I inseminated the 2 days before the LH surge and will be again early tomorrow morning. Do you think that covers it or should I do Wednesday too? x

I think that covers it! Congratulations. I know I've read somewhere that the more frequent the donations are, the lower the potency will be as physiologically he can't make the sperm quickly enough so it may well be that Wednesday's donation wouldn't be up to much. You'd be catching the tale end of your fertile window by then anyway. Tomorrow is perfect.

Waiting2BAMummy - truthfully, who bloody knows????? Sorry, I've spent hours trying to find a timeline for LH surge and ovulation, but it varies for each person. If you can do Wednesday as well maybe you should, just to cover the possibility? And more sperm can't hurt, can it?

My body seems to be behaving, so far. Though maybe it is proof that my early 'symptoms' last time were due to the tablets. Who knows? I seem to be in a completely different mindset now, though. Whether it's because I've done it once already, or my body isn't reacting as it did last month, but I'm much more laid back about it this time round. Am sure it's all for the best.

I'm sure there was something else I was going to say but I've forgotten it. You should be thanking your lucky stars!!!!!